You Were Meant For Me
by ElleLaw
Summary: Casey Novak is trying to put her life back together after the love of her life, Alex Cabot, is murdered. However, just when she thinks she is starting to move on she finds out Alex is still alive. What will happen between the two of them now? Will they be able to work things out and move on?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so this is my first story. I am giving it a shot, I have a plan for this story, but let me know what you think. Also, I pulled Casey's therapist from the show Private Practice.**

* * *

Casey sat in her therapist's office. Her legs curled up underneath her in the oversized chair by the window watching the rain fall outside. Taking a shaky breath she looked over at the woman.

Her therapist, Violet Turner, had been her confidant for years. She started seeing her to handle the abusive relationship she had experienced with her ex-Charlie four years prior. Violet had a way of breaking through Casey's walls and getting her to work out her emotions. Even after working through the Charlie mess, Casey had continued to see Violet once a month to touch base, but now she was here for help again.

"Casey," Violet asked her patient, "Are you ready to talk?"

"No," Casey sobbed, "I don't think I ever will be."

"You need to try. It will help the grieving process."

"I don't want to grieve; I want h-her to come home."

The curly haired doctor sighed, "Casey, you know that isn't going to happen. Alex isn't coming back, you need to open up. She'd want you too."

Casey took a deep breath as tears streamed down her cheeks then she began, "When I think about her I can barely breathe. I want to die. I want to close my eyes and never open them again, to slip back into her arms to breathe her scent. Every time I close my eyes to sleep I see her. I see her smile, hear her laugh, I see us dancing in the living room after a hard day at work laughing, her laughing and smiling. I want to die; I want to die so I can be with her again. I miss her so much."

Violet looked over at her sobbing patient. She'd never seen Casey so broken up, so vulnerable. She wasn't surprised, but it hurt her heart to see Casey so broken. "Casey, are you thinking about hurting yourself?"

The red eyed attorney looked up, and whispered, "Yes, but I won't"

"Why?"

"I am Catholic, if I do, I will never see her again."

Violet nodded in understanding, "Do you have someone you can stay with right now, or someone that can stay with you?"

"I already do. Alex's mom has been staying over. She says it's helping her come to terms with Alex's death."

"Is it helping you?"

"Nothing can help me, but Alex," Casey states looking back out the window.

* * *

Violet looks Casey over. She's been seeing her twice a week now for the last two months this is the first week that it's only been one visit. Casey has returned to work. She is looking a little more put together, and a very tiny bit stronger.

"So, Casey," Violet begins, "how are you doing this week?"

"As well as can be expected," Casey states blandly.

"Ok, could you elaborate?"

Casey sighs, "It's been two months, and I am back at work. Branch put me in sex crimes, it's impossible. It's laughable I guess."

"So you took over for Alex?"

"Yeah, Alex and I were so stupid. We had been dating eight months when she was killed. We thought being discrete and not sharing our relationship in the office was for the best work wise. We were so stupid. I think truthfully we liked the sneaking around the office. Abbie and Kim knew but that was it work-wise."

"Why didn't you tell Branch? Why did they think you took two months off?"

"Personal reasons."

"You haven't told anyone still? Why not?"

"Why would I? So I can get more pitied looks from people?"

Violet frowns, "Casey what do you mean?"

"My family and her mom are always checking in on me! Abbie and Kim are always checking to see if I am ok! Everyone is pushing me to move on and I don't want to! I just want to grieve in my own way and be left the fuck alone!" Casey screams as her tears flow freely.

Violet stands and moves across the room. She bends down and hugs the emotional redhead. "Casey, what are they all pushing you to do?"

"They want me to pack up her things. They say our apartment is a shrine to her and it's not healthy. Not Charlotte, Alex's mom, as much but everyone else. My parents actually mentioned that I should list the apartment and move somewhere new! How could I list our home? How could I when it's full of memories good and bad," The girl sobbed.

"Okay, wow, everyone does seem like they are pushing you a lot. I do have to ask though, what have you not packed up and why do you think they are pushing you so?"

Casey takes a deep breath and continues, "I haven't packed up her clothes. Her closet is full just the way she left it with her shoes scattered at the back of it. Her jewelry she wore the day before she died is still sitting on her nightstand where she took it off before bed that night, her toothbrush still sits on the bathroom counter next to her perfume. I go to work and go straight home. When I get home I am instantly reminded she isn't coming home because she isn't with me. I sit in the kitchen, I eat dinner, I clean up, and I go to our room. But when I get to our room I can pretend. I leave it that way so I can pretend that she isn't gone just yet, so I can sleep and think she is just at the precinct and that she will be home in a bit. Plus, to be honest, I am not ready to pack up her stuff and be only left with pictures. If I move, she will be permanently packed away and not a part of me anymore."

Violet nods in understanding, "And why do you think your family and friends are pushing you?"

Casey looks Violet in the eyes and replies, "Because they didn't and haven't lost the love of their life, but I have."

"Casey, you do not have to do anything you aren't ready to do."

"Thank you Violet."

* * *

"So Casey, how are you doing?" Violet asked. It had been almost a year since the murder of Alex Cabot and she was starting to see much improvement in her patient. They'd even bumped their meetings back to once a month starting last month.

"I am doing better. I am making some new friends and I am starting to get out more like we talked about last time," Casey replied.

"I am glad to hear it Casey. Tell me about your new friends."

"Well, I have started hanging out with one of the detectives I work with and her girlfriend. I actually just had them over for dinner last week, which was interesting."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I still hadn't been honest about my relationship with Alex until that night. My home makes it obvious though there are pictures of us around the house. Anyway, she said she knew we were together, she just hadn't realized how serious we were until I gave her my home address she knew it was Alex's address. She apologized for not knowing sooner. I think she could tell just how in love we were," Casey looked lost as she finished.

"Are you okay Casey? It sounds like that might have been difficult for you."

"I am going to be ok eventually. My only regret is that Alex and I were so naïve. We thought we'd have a lifetime together. So we were being selfish and secluded. We had no idea she was going to die so soon. We just wanted to enjoy each other for a little while before opening ourselves up to everyone. I mean we still hung out with our best friends Abbie and Kim, and our families but in hindsight, I wish I had taken out a page in all the newspapers to announce our love for each other," Casey choked up and started to cry.

"Casey?" Violet questioned.

Casey shook her head, "I am okay. I just wish I could go back in time, I would do so many things differently."

"Like what?"

"I would have taken Alex to Australia. She wanted to go for Christmas, but I would have insisted we go sooner. I would have told everyone I could about our love, I would have asked her to marry me. I knew I wanted to spend my life with her, but I thought it was too soon to ask," Casey laughs, "I would have demanded she let that case go before it cost her life."

Violet nodded in understanding, "Casey she loved you and you loved her, that's all that matters."

"You know two weeks ago was my birthday and I received flowers from her."

"What? How?" Violet asked confused.

"I guess she preordered them or put them on a yearly order."

"How do you know they were from her?"

"They were orchids, my favorite. Only Alex would buy me orchids, and it was her typical signature, a heart with a 'A' in the center." Casey smiled.

"How did that make you feel getting those?"

"It made me feel amazing, like she was still with me."

"Casey…" Violet starts, but Casey interrupts.

"I know what you are going to say, but you don't have to worry. I know she isn't coming back, but I still love her, I am still in love with her. I wish she'd come back, but I know she isn't."

* * *

Violet sat in her office waiting on her redheaded patient. Casey had been making a lot of progress over the last year and a half since her girlfriend had been murdered. It had been slow going, but she was making a lot of progress. She hoped that soon Casey would be able to start thinking about moving on.

The door opens startling Violet from her thoughts. "Casey! I was beginning to wonder if you were coming…" Violet pauses seeing that Casey is clearly upset.

"Casey what's wrong?"

Casey paces the room she doesn't know what to say. She is furious, she is ecstatic, she is so many things she doesn't know what she is and it's driving her mad.

"Casey? Casey talk to me, tell me what is wrong?"

"She's alive, Violet, Alex is alive."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, thank you all for your awesome and encouraging reviews! It made my morning so great that I wrote this chapter on my lunchbreak. So please excuse any major typing issues my iphone did its best. :) Btw, sorry about the lack of separation between months in the last chapter, it deleted my breaks!**

Casey walked out of the DA's office. She felt numb. No broken to be exact. As if someone had just driven a huge knife through her heart and pulled it right back out.

Yet that wasn't all. At the same time she felt renewed. Like this huge part of her that had been hollowed out was somehow being refilled. How was it possible?

Alex had been shot on her way home. Taken to the hospital, where they tried to save her life, but failed. She died. The doctors came out and told Charlotte and her she was gone. They told everyone she was gone. They buried her. So how is she alive?

Before Casey was fully aware of what was going on she realized that she was sitting outside Violet's office. She clearly had been on autopilot the whole drive over. Not to mention, Abbie's earlier intrusion into her office had made her late. Climbing the stairs she couldn't figure out what she was going to say to the curly haired therapist.

She bolted into the office, immediately pacing like she does in the courtroom trying to regain control. Casey was barely aware Violet was speaking before she blurted, "She's alive! Violet, Alex is alive!"

Violet's gaping mouth expression said volumes before she spoke, "What do you mean Casey? How is that possible?"

"I just found out Violet. I am not fully aware of all the details just yet. What I can tell you is she was or is in Witness Protection, but she is coming back."

Violet nodded, "Okay, how did you find this out?"

Casey took a deep breath to compose herself, although she was still pacing and trying to stop shaking. Slowly she began, "A few nights ago my friend Abbie showed up at my apartment. She had discovered through her homicide detectives that the man she was preparing to try for murder was also the hit man that killed Alex. At the time, she wasn't planning on trying him for Alex's murder because there wasn't enough evidence, but she wanted me to have some closure knowing that they caught him and he was going away for the rest of his miserable life." Casey took a shaky breath and continued, "Anyway, something happened and the judge was about to dismiss yesterday so Abbie quickly added in Alex's charge against him to be able to save the case. So the man, Conners, was re-arrested on her charge."

Casey paused and finally sat down placing her head into her hands. Violet could tell she was trying to not burst into tears. The redhead shakily continued, "So, according to Abbie, Abbie arrived at work this morning to Branch and the Feds in her office waiting for her. They told her that Alex was alive and that she would be returning to testify against Conner's so they could still put him away for good."

"Oh my God, Casey..." Violet started but was interrupted.

"Shit Violet, I woke up this morning like I have every morning for the last year and a half, alone and miserable. Wishing I had never awoken, wishing I hadn't been home sick that night she was shot, wishing that we were together. I forced myself, like every morning, to pull it together. 'Get up Casey, get ready for work Casey, don't cry Casey.' Then I walk out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen to make my coffee. Like I use to do every morning when Alex was alive, and that's where I let myself cry for five minutes while the coffee brews every morning. I stand there and look at the picture of us from her family's annual beach trip. It's a candid shot her uncle took of us, we are wrapped in each other's arms I am smiling and she has her head thrown back laughing at something I have said. It's so apparent how in love we are in that picture. That's when I cry, because it's real and I can't hide anymore. I know she isn't going to walk down the hall at any minute asking if she looks ok or if I know where she left her glasses the night before, thanking me for making the coffee with a soft kiss. But now, now she's alive. She's alive and headed here. Oh my God, she's alive!" Casey looks up in fear.

"Casey," Violet starts, "yes she is alive. That is a scary revelation, when you process everything you have dealt with emotionally over the last year, but I want you to focus on the fact that you have been given this amazing gift. The woman you love with your whole heart is still alive and coming home."

Casey dries the tears from her eyes and questions, "Why didn't she tell me? What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"Casey, I can't answer why you weren't told, but I would assume it had something to do with your safety and her safety. As for how she feels, I don't know for sure, but my guess would be she feels the same as you. I have watched and listen to you grieve Casey over the last year and a half. I know you two were madly in love so my guess would be she is has been hurting just as much and is very happy to be coming home to you."

"I hope so I don't know what I will do otherwise. I am just so scared Violet."

Violet observes her patient for a minute. She can clearly see how nervous Casey is and how this new knowledge is wracking her emotionally. Sighing she starts, "Casey, I told you my husband died, right?"

"Yes," Casey replies.

"Well, if I just found out he was alive and I was going to get to see him, I would be in your same shoes. Feeling the exact same feelings you are feeling. Don't let your brain get too bogged down with what ifs, listen to you heart right now. What does your heart say?"

"It says thank God Alex is alive and is full of love. I all want to do is love her."

Violet smiles, "Listen to your heart Casey. Go be in love until you have a reason not to. Can you do that?"

Casey smiles, "Yeah, yeah I can."

"I am glad to see you smile Casey," Violet says noticing they are out of time, "how about I see you back this time next week?"

Casey stands, "Sounds good, see you then."

* * *

Feeling at ease for the first time in over a year, Casey decides to call into work for the rest of the day. She just can't go back, not today. Instead she thinks she will go to the store get some groceries and go home and rest. Sometime in the next 48 hours she is going to see Alex again and she would like to not look like total crap when that moment comes.

Running quickly through the grocery store she heads home with wine, roast chicken and salad. The remaining drive home occurs rather peacefully. She smiles at the possibility that she might see Alex tomorrow and begins to wonder how that first meeting will be for them. Will it be awkward or natural? As her mind wanders she realizes just how tired she is and knows a nap is in store before she fixes dinner.

Casey pulls her car into the apartment building garage. She takes the elevator to the fifth floor of her building were their apartment is located. Carrying her bag of groceries, she can barely unlock the door nonetheless relock it after entering.

She is so locked into her thoughts of her impending reunion with Alex while walking through the foyer that she doesn't notice the light on the hall table has been turned on. Walking through the dining room and into the kitchen she sets the groceries down. Quickly unpacking them she decides to make a cup of tea before going to lie down. Once finished she heads towards the bedroom.

She doesn't expect anything. She doesn't feel like anything is out of the ordinary. She is so wrapped up in her thoughts and with trying to not spill the hot liquid that she doesn't notice the coat on the couch as she walks through the living room towards the bedroom.

But as she walks in the bedroom door she freezes noticing the blonde sound asleep on the bed clutching her pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok, so don't hate me, but I felt like we needed some Alex background before we get to the Alex and Casey reunion. Anyway here it is, next chapter is in progress and with any luck will be up late tonight!**

**One year and five months earlier…**

Alex Cabot opened her eyes and took in her surroundings before closing them again. She was in a hospital bed in the hospital. Where is Casey? What happened? Suddenly, the memories come rushing back to her.

"_Hello," Casey answers coughing into the phone._

"_Hey Case," Alex says, "Are you feeling any better baby?" _

"_Not really. Are you on your way home yet?"_

"_Yeah baby, I am. You want me to pick you up some soup?" Alex asks._

"_Yes please," Casey starts but a coughing fit interrupts her. Finally she continues, "Yes, and could you get some tissues and cough syrup please."_

"_No problem, I am almost to the store and I will be home in a bit. You just get some rest ok?"_

"_Ok baby, be safe I love you."_

"_I love you too Casey." Alex says hanging up._

_She pulled into a parking spot near the store and gets out and heads that way. As she nears the store she sees a car slowing and the window rolling down but before she can process what's happening the gun fires two rounds into her chest. She hits the pavement trying to breathe trying to scream trying to do anything and then everything went black…_

Okay, Alex thinks I was shot. I am alive, and I am in the hospital. She then opens her eyes again, no Casey, but there is a man in uniform. He must be here because the threat on my life was obviously serious, okay.

"Ah, Ms. Cabot, I see you have finally woken up. I will get Jack." The uniformed man says.

Jack Hammond walks into the room, "Alex, how are you?"

"Well, I was shot twice and woke up in the hospital, so you tell me." Alex responds in her icy lawyer tone. She is quickly becoming uneasy by the fact that there are more uniforms in the room and not Casey, or her mom.

"Okay, well you were shot Alex and you flat lined on the way to the hospital and in the OR a couple of times, but the doctors were able to save your life. You have been in a drug induced coma for the last couple of weeks to allow your body to heal and they now allowed you to wake up." Jack replies.

"Where are Casey and my mom? Are they okay?" Alex questions becoming increasingly nervous with the passing seconds. The death threat was directed at her, but what if they got to Casey and her mom as well.

Jack takes a deep breath, "Alex, they are okay, but you are not. You are technically dead as of three weeks ago. The only way to keep you safe was to put you into Witness Protection."

Alex pales hearing Jack's words, "W-what are you saying?"

"I am saying you are no longer Alex Cabot. Alex Cabot is dead."

"Does anyone know?"

"No," Jack sighs, "No one can know."

Alex shakes her head, "No, that's unacceptable. I have to tell my girlfriend Casey and my mom at least."

"Alex, they have already buried you, they think you are dead. You are not Alexandra Cabot anymore, you are now someone different."

Alex suddenly feels like she can't breathe, like the room is closing in on her. Casey thinks she's dead, her mother thinks she's dead. She can't breathe.

"Alex breathe," Jack orders, "Ah geez, get the doctor!"

Alex sucks in a mouthful of air before letting out a loud crying sob, "Why didn't you just let me die! Why!"

A doctor and a nurse rush in and orders are given to administer a sedative. Soon Alex is starting to settle, but before she falls asleep she whispers, "I want to go home."

**One year and two months earlier… **

It's two in the morning and Alex is awake. She doesn't sleep anymore, she misses Casey to much. All she wants to do is go home, but the Feds keep telling her it's not a possibility while Valez is still alive and while her hit man is still at large. How do they expect to fix these things? What hope is she supposed to have?

The Feds expect her to be Emily from Tulsa, and live in Wisconsin. They expect her to work at her job in insurance. Yet Alex Cabot would rather be 6 feet under literally than continue this charade. "I want to go home," she whispers into the empty room.

All she wants is to go home to her life. She wants to open the door to her and Casey's apartment and walk down the hall to the living room and catch Casey dancing like a loon to some pop music song of the week that she is into and laugh at her. It makes her remember her the first time she caught Casey like that…

_Alex walked to down the hall to her apartment, wait their apartment. She loves being able to call it their home now. Casey is clearly the best thing that has ever happened to her. _

_Opening the door to the apartment she is instantly hit with music blasting down the hallway. "Casey?" Alex calls out but doesn't receive an answer. Figuring the redhead can't hear her she makes her way down the hall to the living room. Walking into the open living room she sees the redhead dancing around the sight instantly plasters a smile on Alex's face. 'How the hell did I wind up so lucky,' she thought to herself. She walks over and the redhead spots her._

_"Hey baby!" Casey exclaims seeing Alex, "come dance with me!"_

_Alex shakes her head no and states, "I think I am going to go get a glass of wine and watch you babe."_

_"Absolutely not Counselor. Heels off and on the dance floor now!" Casey orders._

_Alex quirks an eyebrow at the suddenly dominate redhead as she removes her heels as directed, watching Casey change the song via remote to a song titled the 'You and Me Song' by The Wannadies. Casey smiles sweetly and it makes Alex's heart flutter a little. Walking over and taking Alex's hand she says, "I heard this song on the radio while driving to the courthouse today and I thought of you. So I want to dance with you to it."_

_"Okay," Alex responds giving Casey a chaste kiss as they began dancing. The song started out slow and sweet and they sway in each other's arms to it perfectly. "I really like this song Casey," Alex said as Casey grinned at her._

_Suddenly the tempo exploded and Casey spun Alex around the room as she shrieked in surprise! As the song slowed and sped up the two swayed and spun laughing and kissing. It was the perfect way to come home in the evenings._

This quickly became a nightly routine for the happy couple. Alex would always fake a refusal to wanting to dance and then cave to Casey's pleas. They'd dance till they were out of breath and fall onto the couch sharing sweet kisses until they finally got up and made dinner together or retired straight to the bedroom for an evening of love making. It was the happiest time in Alex's life. That was her life, that's what she wants to return too, to Casey.

The couples family and friends thought it was way too soon to move into together after only dating for four months, but both Casey and Alex knew it was right and could care less. They knew they wanted to be together and that's all that mattered. As Alex started to fall asleep in the chair all she could think about was all of the other things she wished she and Casey had been able to share.

**Eight months prior…**

Alex sighs opening the door to her house. "What's going on Jack?" she questions the federal agent.

"Don't act so happy to see me Emily. Do you have company?" Jack asked.

"No, never."

"Ok, well I brought you a present." Jack says passing over the wrapped gift.

Alex stares at the outstretched hand holding the gift and reluctantly takes the present. "Why are you giving me something?" Alex asks.

"Geez, just open it already."

"Okay," Alex says opening the gift. She freezes once she sees what it is; it's a picture of Casey. One of her favorites that she kept framed on her bedside table in their bedroom. She had taken it one of the first times she took Casey horseback riding. Casey insisted on wearing a cowboy hat and her hair in braided pig tails, and Alex had just made a joke about her looking like Annie Oakley or a character from the old TV show Gunsmoke. Casey had started laughing about the silly comparison and Alex thought she looked breathtaking and snapped the shot. She looked so beautiful.

Taking a deep breath and trying not to cry Alex asked, "How did you get this?"

Jack smiled, "I have my ways. Anyway, I thought you could use a pick me up. Happy Birthday."

"Thank you."

**Six months prior…**

Alex was becoming more and more depressed as the days progressed. The Harvard Law graduate was getting reprimanded at work continuously for missing deadlines and being short with clients. Never in a day had Alex Cabot been seen as a slacker or anything less than a hard worker, but Emily from Tulsa was one write up from being fired.

She thought about killing herself, at least it would make the real Alex Cabot's fate real but Casey's Catholic beliefs had rubbed off on her too much. Plus, there was always a small chance she might be able to return home someday. Then again would there be anything to return to?

Trying to think of something happier to boost her spirits, Alex thought about the first time she's met Casey. Casey was walking out of Judge Petrovsky's office and headed towards the elevator when the blonde ran around the corner in desperate need of a warrant and knocked her straight off her feet. They both collided to the ground Alex on top of Casey.

_Casey smirked and said, "Normally I require dinner and a drink before getting into such positions."_

_Alex blushed and quickly got to her feet stumbling over an apology and helping Casey up._

_"Don't worry about it. I don't think we've been properly introduced, I'm Casey Novak," Casey states reaching out a hand._

_"Alexandra Cabot," Alex replies shaking her hand, "listen, I really have to get this warrant but I would love to take you out for coffee to make up for tackling you to the floor and all." _

_Casey smiles sweetly, "I would like that, come by my office any time."_

It only took Alex to 3pm that afternoon to knock on her door. She couldn't shake the redhead from her thoughts and coffee turned to dinner which developed into morning coffees, daily lunches, dinners and nightly sleepovers. So before they knew it they were an item. Their best friends were happy for them and so were their families, but they kept it out of work which allowed them to have their privacy while enjoying their new found love. It really was a wonderful time in her life hopefully she would be able to rejoin that life someday.

**Three months prior…**

The storm rolled across the Wisconsin night sky while Alex lay in bed crying. It was nothing new she cried nightly. She knew the love of her life was a plane ride away and she couldn't be with her. She wondered if Casey was still grieving or if she'd already started moving on with her life. Mostly, she wondered if when cleaning out Alex's closet if Casey had found the ring and if she loved it as much as Alex had hoped she would.

Alex was broken. She suffered from PTSD to some degree from the shooting. Despite wanting to die on a daily basis, she was still afraid whoever tried to kill her might come for her and be successful this go around. If it were a normal situation she'd go to therapy, but since she wouldn't be able to tell the truth it would be quite pointless in her case. She needed some sort of hope in life, something positive to grasp onto but nothing ever seemed to come her way. She was beginning to feel like all of her prayers went unanswered.

The phone rang shaking Alex from her thoughts. Alex answered it with a gruff, "Hello."

"Emily, its Jack."

"What do you want Jack?"

"I wanted to inform you that Harper was passed away today."

Alex took a deep breath Harper was the code name for Valez, which meant she might be able to go home soon. Finally, she found her words, "Really? What does that mean?"

"Nothing yet, one more to go kiddo. Take care."

The line went dead. Alex finally had a prayer answered. Maybe the prayers that Casey had taught Alex were paying off.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yay for reunions. The reunion starts in this chapter. :)**

**Day before Alex arrives home…**

It was midnight, and the phone was ringing. 'Why is the phone ringing?' Alex thought as she reached for the handle. "Hello," she answered.

"Emily, its Jack. Get up and pack what you need, I will be there in an hour."

"What?" Alex questioned.

"Get your go bag ready, you are leaving. I will explain when I get there."

Alex didn't hesitate. She jumped out of bed and quickly packed a bag and carefully placed the picture of Casey on top before closing the bag. Then she threw on a pair of jeans, a sweater and her favorite boots. Running downstairs she touched up her makeup in the hall mirror and tied her hair in a ponytail. She was ready and had thirty minutes to wait. She didn't need anything else in this house. All she hoped was that she might be going home.

Jack arrived in an hour just like he said he would. The second Alex saw him she jumped up and ran to the door. "Ready," Jack said as Alex opened the door.

"Yeah, let's go." Alex replied while closing the door and heading to the car. Once inside she asked "What the deal?"

"The man who shot you was caught and is being tried for your murder along with four others."

"What does that mean? You can't try someone for a murder they did not commit."

"It means you need to go back to NYC and testify and I have to tell the ADA in charge so they can fix the charge in your case to attempted murder. Normally, I would ask you, but I figured you would say yes."

"You got that part right. Wait, so I get to go home?"

"Yes Alex, you get to go home and stay home as long as Connors is found guilty."

"Connors is his name?"

"Yeah, his file is in between your seat and console."

Alex looked over the file. It was wrong on so many levels for her to be looking at this considering she would be testifying, but right now she didn't care. Finishing, she put the file down and said, "Wow, so that's the man that stole my life. I can't believe that this nightmare might finally come to an end."

* * *

By 8 am they were driving through the streets of New York City. The flight had been uneventful, but the drive through the city that Alex had so longed to return to had her panicking. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Jack where are we going?"

"Normally Alex I would have you hidden away in a hotel somewhere in the city. Although, I thought I would personally cut you some slack. Your apartment complex is very secure and since no one right now is aware you are alive, and no one will really be aware till tomorrow morning I thought it was safe enough to let you go home."

"I still have a home?" Alex asks not believing what she is hearing.

"Casey never moved Alex, and the apartment is technically still in your name so yes, you can go home."

"Is Casey aware I am alive?"

Jack shook his head, "No not at this moment."

"So you want me to what pop up in her apartment and scare the shit out of her? I have no desire to be shot again Jack." Alex sighs.

Scowling Jack replies, "Alex she is at work, and I will let her know before she leaves. You are ok to go home. She hasn't moved on or anything. I have had her periodically watched for safety purposes."

Alex nodded although she was nervous as hell, "Okay then. Take me home."

* * *

Walking into the apartment was surreal. The front hall looked the same as if she had never left. She walked to the hall table and turned on the light noticing a new picture next to the light. It was one of the last pictures Casey had taken of them before Alex "died". They were picnicking in Central Park and Casey was insistent on taking their picture so Alex kissed her cheek as she snapped the shot. It turned out to be a really cute picture. Alex wiped a tear from her cheek and continued down turning into the dining room and walking into the kitchen.

Everything looked as it did before she left her last morning. Casey's coffee cup sat on the counter next to their picture from the beach, Alex's would have been in the sink or dishwasher. The counters were clear, which was an obvious sign that Casey probably hadn't been eating well unless she hired a maid.

She turned and walked into the living room. Everything looked normal, nothing had been moved. She took off her coat and laid it on the couch as she walked into their bedroom. Looking over the room she becomes instantly breathless.

It had been a year and a half since she had last been home, but everything was the way it had been. She could see her jewelry that she'd worn the day before she was shot still on the bedside table where she left them. She walked over to her closet door and opened it shocked to see all her clothes. Casey hadn't cleared away anything of hers. Everything was right where it had been.

She walked into the back of the closet and pulled down her big Harvard Law sweatshirt, unfolding it Alex smiles seeing the black velvet ring box. Opening the box she is relieved to find the sapphire and diamond ring is still safe inside, she can't believe Casey never found it. She quickly refolds the ring box back into the sweatshirt and puts it back up on the shelf.

Grabbing a pair of yoga pants and one of Casey's old softball shirts she heads into the bathroom and takes a long shower. Afterwards she climbs into their bed, into Casey's side pulling Casey's pillow up tight against her chest breathing Casey's scent in deep. Alex thought she might not ever smell Casey again and being able to is overwhelming. Tears begin pouring out of her eyes finally a sob escapes her. She feels like she is in emotional overdrive. She is so happy to be home and to know that Casey clearly still loves her. After crying for about an hour Alex finally succumbs to the sleep she so desperately needs.

* * *

Casey is literally in shock. She knew she was going to see Alex sometime in the next two days, but she did not expect that moment to be now. Quickly she forces herself to quietly move to the dresser and set the tea down before she drops the cup. She turns back and looks at the sleeping woman. How did she get here so fast?

Looking her over Casey can tell that she has changed since arriving since she is wearing Casey's old softball shirt. She wants nothing more than to climb into bed and Alex tight, she wants to feel her heart beat and breathing, she wants to be reassured in every way that Alex really is alive. Casey goes to her closet and changes into a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top, and then she walks back to the bed. Quietly she climbs into the bed and lies down next to the blonde. As quietly and softly as she can she curls up next to Alex and replaces herself for the pillow. Considering Alex never wakes during the repositioning Casey figures she must be exhausted. Casey could care less that Alex hasn't woken up she is way too relieved to know that she really is alive. Right now all she wants to do is hold her love tight and sleep a little herself. Listening to Alex's breathing she falls into a deep sleep.

When Casey wakes up she opens her eyes to find Alex looking right back. Alex reaches up and runs her hand down Casey's cheek smiling as Casey tilts into her touch. "I have missed you so much. I love you so much." Alex says quietly.

Casey starts to cry, "I love you too. Please don't leave me again. Are you here to stay?"

Alex tries to soothe her, "Yeah, baby I am here to stay. We just have to make sure Connors goes away and I am good to stay."

With a trembling voice Casey asks, "And i-if he gets o-off?"

"Then you and I together will figure something out. I had no control last time, but I refuse to leave you behind again. I almost didn't make it without you." Alex says pulling Casey in for a soft kiss that quickly turns more passionate. When they are finally in need of air they part resting their heads together.

Casey is the first to speak, "I missed you so much. I have cried every day for you. Where were you?"

"I know. I am so sorry. They stuck me in Wisconsin. I wanted to come home every single day. I couldn't sleep without you, I cried myself to sleep every night."

"You promise you won't leave me like that again?" Casey asks.

"I promise Casey." As soon as Alex answers Casey pulls Alex into another passionate kiss. This time hands begin to explore the body of the partner they have missed so much. Before long clothes are tossed to the side and Casey is kissing her way down Alex's body. Alex stops her movements and pulls her up.

Breathlessly she pleads, "Together Casey, I want us to go together."

Casey nods in understanding as she kisses Alex again while slipping her hand to Alex's center. Noticing how ready her girlfriend is she slips one finger in followed by another rubbing her thumb against her clit, Alex instantly gasps at the contact causing a smile to form on Casey's face as she playfully nips Alex's chin and starts to slowly move her fingers in and out of her lover. Once Alex regains some control she slips two fingers into Casey pressing her thumb hard against her clit and soon the two are rocking against each other both fast approaching their end. Casey flies over the edge first quickly followed by Alex. The two clutch onto each other as they come down from the highs.

"Oh my God," Casey pants, "it has been way to long."

"You're telling me," Alex sighs curling into Casey, "Can we sleep some more before dinner?"

"Oh, are you making me dinner?" Casey jokes.

"Oh no, you really haven't been eating!" Alex says smiling.

"Yes I have, just a lot of takeout. But seriously baby, yes we can sleep before dinner, I have it all taken care of just go to sleep now." Casey soothes.

"Okay, thank you Casey," Alex sighs, "I know you have lots of questions and I promise to answer them during dinner."

"Thank you baby. I love you so much Alex."

"I love you too Casey."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, probably should have made this two chapters but I wrote it as one and stuck with it. Have fun! The real twists and turns are coming in the next chapters... :)**

_Alex and Casey walked down the busy New York streets headed towards the courthouse. With each step, Alex became increasingly nervous. Why wasn't Jack driving them? Alex wasn't out of danger yet, so what did they think they were doing walking?_

_Still apprehensive, Alex looked over to Casey to read her emotional state, maybe she could draw some strength from her. Casey seemed totally unfazed by their walking. She was talking about something Alex couldn't quite make out and it sounded like she was coughing but Alex never saw her cough. Something isn't right but Alex can't put her finger on it just yet._

_Before she can process anymore she sees the car driving towards them. She freezes and tries to pull Casey behind her but the redhead doesn't seem to understand what's going on. She just says, "Ok baby, be safe I love you." The window rolls down and Alex can see the gun she is trying to pull Casey out of the way, but she can't seem to move herself. She opens her mouth to yell run, but all she can her herself say is, "I love you too Casey."_

_Then the gun fires two shots. She cringes at the sound looking down at herself expecting to see the red spots appear on her chest as she hears the car speed away she wasn't hit. Looking up to tell Casey she is ok she sees Casey on the ground. Casey was shot and there is blood pooling on the ground around her. Alex tries to go to her but she can't its like she is stuck to the sidewalk. She tries to scream out to Casey or for help but she can't speak. She can't move, can't speak, what is happening!_

Alex opens her eyes. Her heart is beating fast as she takes in her surroundings. She lets out a deep breath she was unaware she was holding realizing she'd just been dreaming. Sighing she runs her fingers through the slumbering redheads hair. 'Casey is fine, it was just a bad dream,' she thinks to herself. Everything will be fine.

Casey stirs awake. Opening her eyes and seeing the blonde she starts to cry. Alex furrows her brow wondering what the issue is she asks, "Casey baby, why are you crying?"

"I thought I dreamt you being here. I was afraid to wake up because I was afraid you wouldn't be here. I am so happy I was wrong." Casey replies lightly kissing Alex before continuing, "I am going to get up and start dinner."

Alex watches as Casey climbs from the bed and dresses before heading out of the bedroom. She still can't believe she is home and that life might return to some sort of normal. Then again she wonders if she really wants life to be normal again. Plus, would anything ever be normal again?

Finding her clothes and dressing Alex walked into the living room. Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Alex suddenly felt out of place and unsure of what she should do. Casey sensed Alex's unease.

"What's up?" Casey asks.

Alex sighs, "I don't know, I just feel out of place, like I am not sure what to do."

Casey frowns not knowing what to take from Alex's response. As she puts the roasted chicken in the oven to warm she replies, "Well why don't you open the bottle of wine while I set the table?"

"Yeah sure," Alex whispers while walking to the island to grab the wine and opener.

While Casey sets the dining table she observes Alex. The normally self-assured attorney looks lost and insecure. It shocks her seeing as just a bit ago she seemed fine, but then again maybe she was just as vulnerable then Casey just couldn't see it. Now that the newness of seeing Alex alive again is wearing in she's seeing the real state of her lover.

Casey walks over to Alex and takes her into a warm embrace. Softly she whispers into her ear, "Alex, you don't have to worry. I won't let anything happen to you."

"I am so afraid Casey." Alex responds.

"You don't have to be baby no one can hurt you here." Casey assures the blonde.

Alex sighs, "I am not afraid of that Case, I am afraid because I literally feel like I just stepped out of my grave back into the land of the living and my body is wracked with so many emotions I don't know what to feel anymore."

Casey looks at her with a puzzled expression. Finally she speaks, "Well let me help you, okay?"

Alex nods.

"Good, okay, what do you want to feel right now?"

Alex quirks an eyebrow intrigued at her girlfriends plan. "Umm, happy, I want to laugh I haven't laughed in a long time."

A smile forms across Casey's face, "Okay, I can do that." She takes Alex's hand and drags her into the living room. Walking over to the MP3 player she turns on their song, "The You and Me Song."

"May I have this dance," the redhead asks holding out her hand. Alex accepts it and before long they are laughing and falling onto the couch. Casey smiles sweetly at Alex, "did that help?"

"Yes." Alex answers as she starts to cry.

Pulling Alex into a warm hug Casey soothes, "Shh, don't cry everything will be okay. I am here we are going to be okay."

"I know I just used to think about the first time we danced to that song when I was really depressed while away. I never thought I would get to dance with you like that again. Thank you for loving me," Alex answers giving Casey a tearful kiss.

The timer soon alerted the two that dinner was ready. They fixed two plates and sat down to the table. Casey wanted to ask Alex so many questions but was suddenly unsure about the blonde's ability to cope with the answers. Alex realizing that Casey is staring at her states, "You can ask me anything."

"What happened after, where were you, who were you?"

"I woke up 3 weeks after being shot in the hospital and they told me I was dead and couldn't go home. Once I was well enough they transported me to Wisconsin and gave me a new identity as Emily from Tulsa." Alex pauses taking a big sip of her wine, "Emily from Tulsa worked at an insurance agency and lived alone and had no friends and slacked off at work because her depression was a bitch and in return she was a bitch to everyone. I am pretty sure she would have gotten fired soon, or been murdered by her coworkers at least."

Casey frowns and says, "Alex," but is cut off.

"I was miserable Casey. I hated life and I wanted to kill myself, but I couldn't. I couldn't because of you, because there was always a chance I could come back home. I was depressed because everyone I loved thought I was dead and I couldn't do anything to change that thought. Plus, I was terrified that Connors would find me and finish the job and I would die alone. It was horrible, I lived in a mess of conflicting emotions and now here I sit still conflicted but for different reasons that I can't quite yet explain."

"Will you explain it to me when you can," Casey asks.

"Yes, I will," Alex starts pausing to sip her wine again, "what happened on your end."

Casey takes a deep breath and begins, "When you died I felt like part of me went with you. Your mom moved in for the first 8 weeks she left when I went back to work. She played it off like she was moving in to help herself come to terms with your death, but I know it was to insure that I didn't do something stupid like kill myself. Abbie and Kim would come by daily to check up on me and my parents came a few times. Everyone kept pushing me to pack your stuff up and even move somewhere new. They didn't think it was healthy for me to be living in basically a shine to you. Their words not mine. But, I couldn't. I liked being able to pretend at night that you would still be coming home and every morning I cried while making coffee when I had to go back to reality. It was a living hell, but Violet helped me know that it was ok to take my time."

"I am so sorry Casey."

"It's not your fault Alex, if anyone is at fault it's me, I asked you to stop at the store that night."

"No Casey, you are not to blame. Connors is to blame. I am just sorry you had to go through that."

"Please don't ever leave me like that again."

"I have no intention too."

* * *

The next morning found Casey waking happier than she has been in a year and a half. She comfortably fell back into her old routine with Alex. She showered first and woke the slumbering blonde with a sweet kiss and while she cleaned up Casey finished getting ready and made the trek to the kitchen to prepare coffee and yogurt for breakfast. This was the first morning that she looked at their picture while the coffee brewed and smiled thinking of all the new memories they would be able to make now.

Though, as Alex walked into the kitchen the redhead was reminded that they still had a lot of healing to do. Alex just seemed so unsure of herself and her surroundings. It was something that Casey desperately wanted to fix but she didn't know what to say or do to help.

Alex noticed the redhead staring again. "What?" Alex questioned.

"Nothing," Casey replied, "I was just thinking."

"Are you sure, you looked like you wanted to ask me something."

"Umm, yeah, well I was just wondering how you were today?"

"Same as yesterday Casey. I know that's not a real answer, and I am sorry for that but I promise I will tell you when I have the words to explain."

"Thank you Alex. It really means a lot that you are being so honest and open." Casey responds giving the blonde a sweet kiss before continuing, "When will Jack be here?"

"In about ten minutes. Thanks for making the coffee and yogurt babe. I have really missed this..." Alex trails off biting her lip clearly trying to gain control of her emotions.

Casey places her hand on Alex's and kisses her head. "It's no problem sweetheart. By the way, I set up dinner with your mom this morning so we can tell her tonight."

Taking a deep breath Alex says, "Thank you."

"Do you want me to go with you to meet Abbie this morning or to court?"

"No Casey, but if I need you can I call you?"

Casey smiles, "Of course you can baby. I should be in the office all day unless SVU calls and needs something."

"Wait, you took over sex crimes?"

"Very unwillingly, yes."

"Good for you Casey that's a huge jump."

Casey grins, "You aren't upset?"

"Absolutely not babe." Alex answers with a kiss. Before they could talk anymore there was a knock at the door.

"Moment of truth," Alex sighs.

"Just remember I am only a phone call away."

* * *

Alex walks into her friend Abbie Carmichael's office. She was happy that Abbie was trying this case she is a tough attorney in the courtroom and Connors defense shouldn't stand a chance. Once Abbie sees her she jumps up from her chair.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you really are alive!" Abbie exclaims running to grab Alex in a tight hug. Alex had known the woman since she joined the DA's office and had generally thought of her as her best friend it was nice to know that she had been missed. Abbie pulled back and looked Alex up and down.

"It's good to see you Alex, have you seen Casey yet?" Abbie questioned.

Running her hand through her hair Alex answered, "Yeah, I actually got in yesterday, so we got to spend most of the day together. I am headed to see Mom tonight."

"I am sure the welcome home sex was fantastic!" Abbie jokes her Texan accent apparent.

Alex scowls, "None of your business Carmichael, but rounds two, three, and four were amazing."

"Wow," Abbie begins, "I need to go into Witness Protection, maybe then Kim might let me try those new things I keep suggesting. Speaking of Kim, she is dying to see you too."

"How you go from sex talk to casual conversation so smoothly I don't know." Alex says shaking her head.

Abbie gets serious, "You ready for this?"

"I think so. When do you want to start prepping?"

"Well, trial starts in the next hour and I plan to amend the charges and introduce you for witness verification and then you are to leave. Then I am planning on having you on the stand by Friday. So we will prep tomorrow night at your place. I want you on and off as quickly as possible, and I want you to hang out in your apartment until Connors is convicted. I don't want a surprise event to happen again if you get my gist."

Alex frowns, "Yeah, I got it."

Court went fairly quickly. Alex felt so out of place being in a courtroom and not being the prosecutor. Maybe after all the drama of the trial was settled she would be able to get back to work.

Arriving back home she decided to take a long hot bath. Relaxing in the tub she tried to think of something positive something to untangle her emotions. She felt like a giant jigsaw puzzle. After seeing Connors in court today she felt a little relief knowing what he looked like and that he was in custody. Although she still didn't understand why she was so unsure of herself or why all of her emotions felt like they were in overdrive. When would that settle down?

After her bath she laid down for a nap. Despite how short her day was she was exhausted. If she was being completely honest she had barely slept her entire time in Wisconsin. She was happy and at peace being home. Seeing her favorite photo of Casey on her nightstand she smiled. The redhead is what made home so happy and peaceful. Once life got back to some semblance of normal she was going to propose and Casey hers forever. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

"You ready to see her?" Casey asked as she drove Alex to her mother's house.

"Yeah," Alex said biting her lip, "I am just a little nervous. I know she will be relieved and excited to see me, but I am still a little uneasy. It doesn't make a lot of sense."

Casey takes Alex's hand in hers and gives it a light squeeze. "Don't worry baby everything will be ok. If it gets overwhelming at all let me know and we will leave."

"Okay," Alex whispered.

The rest of the drive passed in relative silence. As they pulled into the driveway Alex grasped Casey's hand tighter. Casey turned to Alex, "You okay?"

"I am on emotional overdrive Case, I need to pick an emotion and stick to it. Help me." Alex pleads.

Casey looks into Alex's eyes and asks, "What do you mean, what are you trying to feel?"

"Happiness, love, something other than panic and fear."

"Gotcha," Casey answers moving her hand up behind Alex's head as she draws her into a soft kiss. Casey goes to pull back but Alex tangles her hands into Casey's hair pulling her deeper into the kiss. The kiss is hot and sensual. It is exactly what Alex needs to wipe her mind of the emotional war raging inside of her. She slips a hand from Casey's hair and moves to slip it under her shirt when there is a loud authoritative knock at the window causing Alex and Casey to jump apart like two caught teenagers.

Before Casey can even get the door open and step out the car the white haired woman's assault begins. "Casey Novak what the hell do you think you are doing making out in my drive way like a sex driven teenager!" Charlotte Cabot yells.

"Charlotte you don't understand, it's not what you think." Casey starts only to be interrupted.

"Not what I think! You ask to come over to dinner with me and you show up with a date and then get to second base in my driveway with her! What am I supposed to think? What about Alex?"

Hearing her mother rant at her lover, Alex knows this is a losing battle and she needs to come to Casey's rescue and fast. So as her mother continues to hit Casey with every insult and precedes to question 'What about Alex again' Alex gets out of the car. Alex coolly says, "What about Alex?"

Hearing her daughters voice Charlotte suddenly loses hers. She turns and looks at her beautiful child. Regaining the ability to speak, she whispers, "Alexandra."

"Hi Mom," Alex moves to her mother, "I am sorry if Casey and I upset you. We had intended on telling you in a much nicer way."

Grabbing her daughter into a tight hug, Charlotte says, "Thank God for whatever miracle allowed you to be alive. I love you so much. Don't scare me like that again."

Choking up Alex answers with a simple, "Okay, I promise I won't Mom."

Pulling apart to look at Casey, Charlotte smiles and jokes, "For this gift, you and Alex can make out like hormonal teenagers in my driveway whenever you want."

They all laugh heading into the house for a real family dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok, just read the reviews and I am so excited that no one seems to have guessed where this story is going. :) Hopefully, it will turn out exactly as I have planned. Tip of iceberg. This chapter has some sexy fun in it.**

Alex lay in bed waiting on Casey to join her. The reunion with her mother had gone better than she'd imagined it would mostly thanks to Casey. It intrigued Alex greatly by how out of control her emotions had been prior to the hot make out session in the car, but how calmed they were right after. It was as if the adrenaline rush somehow stopped the chaos inside her.

"What are you thinking about baby?" Casey interrupted Alex's thoughts.

"You and how being with you can somehow stop the chaos inside me." Alex answered honestly.

Casey climbed into bed and laid her head on Alex's chest taking comfort in hearing her steady heartbeat. "I am glad I am able to help you, but what do you think would happen if I wasn't around?" Casey questioned.

"Are you planning on leaving me?"

"No."

"Then I am not going to worry about it right now."

Casey sighed, "Okay, but I think maybe you should think about seeing someone. You could always see Violet."

"I will really think about it okay. Let's go to bed." Alex said kissing Casey softly.

"I love you Alex."

"I love you too, Casey."

* * *

The next day at the office was a busy one for Casey. She had barely made it through two case files before being called down to the precinct to make a deal, and then had to run to get a warrant and then back to the precinct all before her 3pm motions hearing on one of her cases. Needless to say by the time she was headed home that night she was exhausted. However, there was no rest ahead as Abbie and Kim were coming over for Alex's trial prep which meant Casey would be entertaining her best friend for a while.

It wasn't that Casey didn't enjoy Kim's company, it's just Casey would much rather enjoy snuggling with her pillow until she could snuggle with Alex. No rest for the weary. Plus, she had to talk to Alex sometime tonight about the possibility of Olivia and Elliot coming by to visit this weekend. They were ecstatic to hear the news of Alex's return from the grave and couldn't wait to see her. Then there was the fact that Olivia wanted to introduce Alex to Serena. To Casey it all seemed overwhelming and she figured Alex was going to decline as many invitations as possible.

Walking into the apartment, she found Alex standing in the hallway staring at her. She had a look on her face that was slightly concerning to Casey. "Hey, how was your day?" Casey asked setting down the takeout food she'd bought and walking to her lover.

"Well let's see, I am trapped in our home alone, with nothing but a jigsaw puzzle for a brain and absolutely nothing to do so pretty fucking awful, "Alex snapped.

Her blunt reply froze Casey in her tracks. She wasn't sure how to approach that statement. Swallowing thickly Casey began, "Well, I am here now, so can I help you sort something out?"

Before she was fully aware of what was happening Alex had her pressed against the wall. Casey's breath hitched in her throat as Alex licked her lips looking Casey in the eyes. "Yes," was all Alex said, claiming Casey's lips in a fiery kiss. Pressing her body hard into Casey's she began running her hands up Casey's sides. Breaking their kiss, she began kissing down Casey's jaw to her neck. As much as Casey wanted Alex she needed to stop this Kim and Abbie would be here in a little bit.

"A-Alex, we c-can't. Kim and Abbie," Casey panted.

Alex moved to Casey's ear nipping her earlobe lightly. "I have wanted you all day, you are all I thought about, I will be quick," she husked into Casey's ear slipping her hand into Casey's pants.

As her hand reached Casey's now throbbing center all of Casey's will power went out the window Abbie and Kim could wait if need be. Slipping her fingers into Casey's underwear Alex smiled, "You are so wet, looks like you want this as much as I do. Do you want me?"

"Y-yes."

Alex rubbed Casey's clit receiving a loud moan of appreciation. "Do you want me here?" Alex questioned, "Or here?" she finished plunging two fingers into Casey's awaiting wetness.

Casey gasped at the sensation of being filled. Finding words were near impossible as the sensations took over all of her. Alex smirked watching the redhead succumb to the pleasure. Pressing Casey further into the wall as she moved in and out of her she asked, "Or how about both?" Pressing her thumb against Casey's clit she curved her fingers hitting Casey's g-spot as she worked in and out of the redhead.

"Oh, yes!" Casey cried as she thrust her hips into Alex's hand. It wasn't going to take her much longer to cum. Feeling Casey's walls tighten around her fingers, Alex used her other hand to pinch Casey's nipple as she bit down on the redheads pulse point. Casey came hard crying out Alex's name.

Alex held Casey up placing light sweet kisses up Casey's jawline to her mouth. With a soft kiss to her lips Alex said, "I hope I wasn't too rough. I was just so wound up after being here all day."

Casey looked into Alex's eyes. It was as if Alex was the old Alex again. Casey smiled and replied, "I am good, but you are mine after Abbie and Kim leave." Leaning in far enough to nip Alex's earlobe she added, "And I intend to make you beg then cum screaming my name." Alex gulped watching as Casey started towards the bedroom.

Abbie and Kim arrived about 10 minutes later. Casey answering the door was immediately met with jokes from Abbie and Kim about the hickey on her neck. Touching her neck she shoots a glare at Alex.

Laughing Alex says, "I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

Blushing Casey says, "Yeah but that doesn't give you permission to mark me like cattle."

"But you are mine and I want everyone to know it." Alex quips.

Whispering in her lovers ear Casey said, "Just remember paybacks a bitch."

"Anyway lovebirds," Kim interrupts, "Alex get over here and give me a hug."

Watching her girlfriend hug the blonde Abbie says, "Wow Alex, you clearly were missed for Kim to be hugging you. PDAs are not her thing."

"Shut it Carmichael," Kim states before continuing, "We really missed you Alex. I am really happy you were okay and that you are back. And," she adds pointing to the redhead, "she was a wreck without you, so in a way it's nice to have you both back."

"Thanks Kim," Alex said with a smile, "ok let's eat! Casey picked up some Chinese on her way home and I am sure it's getting cold."

As the four women sat at the dining table eating and laughing Alex reveled in how comfortable her life was becoming. She still worried about the emotional overdrive that she kept experiencing, but was happy to enjoy life when it settled. All she needed was Casey to help level it and hopefully she soon would figure out how to control it herself.

When dinner was finished, Casey and Kim cleared the table leaving Alex and Abbie to prepare her statement for the next day. Walking into the kitchen Kim asked, "So how is she really?"

Casey poured them both another glass of wine and answered, "Good I think. She keeps saying she feels like an emotional wreck like all of her emotions are in overdrive and she can't pick one. It's weird Kim. When she gets like that it's like she is someone completely different. It's unnerving. You know she looks like Alex but different all at the same time. She'll ask me to fix it, to help her feel one emotion and so far I seem to be able to help. That's how this occurred." Casey points to the hickey.

Kim nods in understanding. "So she uses sex to fix herself?"

"Not exactly," Casey sighs, "one night just making her laugh helped. It's just like she can't pin down an emotion, so she needs help picking one. I don't know how to explain it. I see Violet on Tuesday so I'll ask her I guess."

"We'll let me know how it goes and if I can help you two at all. Same goes for Abbie."

"Thanks Kim. You want to go watch Greys Anatomy now?"

Kim smiles and grabs the bottle of wine, "I thought you'd never ask!"

* * *

As Kim and Abbie left that night Casey turned to Alex. "Bedroom, now!"

A wide grin formed on Alex's face as she turned and ran down the hall with Casey in pursuit. She shrieked jumping on the bed as Casey tried to grab her. The look on Casey's face was of pure want as she slowly climbed on the bed and on top of Alex.

"I believe Counselor that I said bedroom. I do not believe I said for you to get on the bed yet though," she husked into Alex's ear nipping her earlobe before trailing kisses across her jawline to her lips. The kiss was deep and passionate as they battled for dominance. When Casey pulled away Alex whimpered at the loss of contact but was quickly rewarded when Casey stripped her of her shirt and bra. Leaning back down, she wasted no time taking one of Alex's nipples in her mouth sucking and biting causing Alex to let out a moan of appreciation. She repeated the action to the other and slowly began moving down Alex's body. Removing her jeans and underwear Casey was shocked to see just how wet Alex already was "Wow, Alex, you are soaked."

"I know, please Casey don't tease me, dinner and prepping was hard enough, I can't wait any longer," Alex whined.

"Really?" Casey asked running her tongue in patterns up and down Alex's thighs.

"Casey…please" Alex begged.

Casey leaned forward and lightly ran her tongue through Alex's awaiting wetness. "Oh yes Casey, yes" Alex cried out.

"You taste amazing Alex," Casey said repeating her actions two more times before sucking Alex's clit into her mouth. Alex adjusted her hips a little under Casey's hot mouth moaning in pleasure as Casey slipped two fingers into her wetness curling them slightly while setting a rhythm. The noises escaping Alex were driving Casey mad.

"Oh God…Casey…I am…close…" Alex pants grabbing gently at the back of Casey's head pulling her closer. Casey can feel Alex's walls clamping down around her fingers and begins moving in and out of her faster making sure to hit her g-spot while she sucks licks and nips at Alex's clit. It doesn't take much longer for Alex to come crying out Casey's name. Casey continues her ministrations as Alex rides out her orgasm then she crawls back up the blonde's body and kisses her with passion.

"That was great," Alex pants catching her breath as Casey climbs off the bed.

As she starts undressing herself she grins and replies, "Glad you enjoyed that because I am just getting started."

"Oh my God Casey you are going to kill me," Alex sighs.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I really like this chapter, it was inspired by the song Atlas Hands incase you were wondering.**

The next morning Jack picked Alex up for court since Casey got called down to the precinct at 5am. Alex was currently running on a high remembering her and Casey's activities from the night before. Jack looks over at Alex wondering if the blonde is okay as she seems to be breathing funny.

"You got this Cabot," he assures.

Alex smiles, "Yeah, I am just ready for this to all be over. Am I still housebound until the end of the trial?"

"It would be safer that way."

"What if I don't want to be?"

Jack sighs, "Well ultimately it's your call."

"Okay, I am just tired of being cooped up."

Shaking his head Jack says, "I am glad to know you are still a pain in the ass."

* * *

Casey answers the phone, "Casey Novak Sex Crimes."

"Casey, its Abbie. I need you at the courthouse now." Abbie said.

Casey jumping to her feet as she prepared to leave asks, "What happened is Alex ok?"

"I don't know about ok. She did great on the stand and they called recess because she goaded Connors into a fit of rage, but now she's having some type of panic attack or something. I have her in one of the second floor conference rooms, but I don't know what to do and I have to go back to court," Abbie states.

Grabbing her coat and briefcase Casey assures she is on her way as she locks up. She wonders what exactly set Alex off. Was it just seeing Connors? She seemed so strong and confident this morning. What exactly set her off?

Casey quickly developed an 'Alex Recovery Plan' calling all the necessary people, Jack being the most important, while in route to the courthouse. Arriving at the courthouse she was amazed at her ability to run up the steps in her heels and not fall flat on her face. By the time she reached the conference room she felt like her heart was going to explode from anxiety. Opening the door slowly she saw Alex sitting on the floor in a ball.

"Alex baby," Casey spoke softly moving towards her lover, "what is wrong." Squatting down next to the blonde she could tell she had been crying. "Alexandra, talk to me please."

Alex looked up at Casey with pleading eyes, "Casey I am so lost. I don't feel like myself anymore. I thought breaking Connors would make me feel better, but it didn't. I still feel just as jumbled up inside."

Sitting on the floor, Casey pulled the blonde into her lap and held her tight. "Alex you may feel confused and out of sorts, but you are still the woman I love. No matter what happens I will always love you. When you need a constant or something to ground you I want you to think of that, think of my love."

Alex looked up into Casey's eyes. She felt like she could see the real her reflected in the green depths of her lovers eyes. "I love you so much. Thank you," she said leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss against Casey's lips.

Casey smiled, "You feel like getting out of here?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I have planned a surprise for you."

* * *

An hour and a half later Alex and Casey were in Casey's car headed upstate. Alex was finishing up a call to her mom reassuring her that she was okay and that she loved her dearly. Casey noticed Alex wiping away tears as she ended the call.

"You okay baby," Casey questioned.

"Yeah," Alex started taking a deep breath to steady her voice before continuing, "I am. It's just hard to talk to her and not cry. I feel so bad that she thought I was gone for a year and a half but at the same time I am so thankful I can talk to her now."

"Alex you couldn't help your situation."

"Yeah I could have Casey. I could have dropped the case before it earned me a death threat. I made a bad choice and we all paid the price." Alex said hanging her head.

Casey gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were turning white. She hated Alex blaming herself for what happened, but she understood her train of thought. She needed to say something to nip this in the butt now so the rest of the 'Alex Recovery Plan' could work this weekend. Seeing a gas station she pulled over and parked the car and turned to look at Alex.

"Why did we stop?" Alex asked seeing as something was up.

"You and I need to talk seriously about this before we can continue to your surprise."

"Ok."

Casey paused to pick the perfect words. Looking deep into Alex's blue eyes she started, "Alex, you made a choice because you were fighting for justice and yes it cost you a year and a half of your life, but I do not resent you for it and neither does your mother or anyone else for that fact. Do you know why?"

Alex whispered, "Why, why don't you?"

Holding Alex's hands firmly and still looking into her eyes Casey continued, "Because it's that passion and uncompromising nature that makes you Alexandra Cabot. It is the main reason why I fell in love with you, it's the person your mother raised and it's the part that other people admire. If I held your choice against you then I wouldn't be able to be in love with you, and I love you more than anything else in this world Alex."

"Okay," Alex answers hanging her head.

"Alexandra look at me," Casey waits for Alex to lock eyes with her again, "now for this weekend to be awesome I need to know that you believe what I just said. So do you?"

Alex half smiles and says, "Yes Casey I do. Everything is just hard right now. Thank you though for sticking with me."

Casey leans over and places a chaste kiss to Alex's lips, "Okay, let's go then."

As she pulls back onto the highway she sees Alex really needs something to focus on so she decides to give her a hint as to their trip. "Okay Alex, you want a hint about our trip?"

Smiling she says, "Yes, yes I do! Oh my God you aren't taking me camping are you?"

Laughing Casey responds, "No. I have no wish to do that just yet. I have something…better planned. Anyway, it's involves something you love but haven't been able to do in a while…"

"Oh my God! Did you bring the cowboy hat!" Alex exclaims.

"What, I wasn't even done with my clue, how did you do that?" Casey interrogated.

"Casey, it's me. I know you, any hint you were going to try and give me I was going to figure out. So horseback riding on trails I assume around the lake, are we staying at Kim's parents lake house?"

"Oh my God, I am going to turn this car around. Whole surprise ruined." Casey huffed.

Alex smiled big leaning over kissing Casey's cheek, "Best surprise ever! Thank you I am so excited."

Casey smiled thinking to herself, 'the Alex Recovery Plan is going perfect!'

Arriving at the lake house the two quickly unpacked the car. The sun was near setting and Casey had a lot to get done before night hit. She needed to distract Alex with something.

"Hey baby, I need to take care of some things. Could you fix dinner for us?" Casey asked sweetly.

Alex grinned knowing that her girlfriend was planning something awesome for her, "No problem babe. I am on it!"

Quickly grabbing some blankets out of the guest room closet and a pillow Casey ran outside down to the dock. Climbing into the row boat she placed the pillow at the bow and laid the blanket out and tucked her iPhone under the bow seat. Then she lit the two lanterns on the dock. Running back up to the house she looked back to the dock and smiled. Everything was set and she was so excited, hopefully Alex would like it and hopefully it would help her.

Walking into the house she froze at the entrance to the kitchen. Watching Alex move about the kitchen was a beautiful sight. The blonde was so distracted by making the salad that she didn't notice Casey watching her. Casey loved Alex's long blonde hair and watching her brush it out of her face, her glasses perched on her nose she is just stunning. Moving into the kitchen she walked up behind the blonde and pulled her into her. "Hey," Alex whispered looking over her shoulder at Casey.

"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" Casey whispered into the blonde's ear.

"Hmm, let me see, I do believe you told me this morning at 4:50 when you insisted on kissing me 10 times before leaving, so yes." Alex giggled.

"Well, I just want to make sure you know. You are gorgeous and I love you." Casey finishes kissing Alex. "So can I help with anything?"

"You have already helped me so much," Alex says turning in Casey's arms so she can face the redhead, "You know I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen both inside and especially out?"

"Right," Casey laughs.

"No seriously Casey, you have an amazing heart and you don't hold back sharing your love. And your body is stunning and I know I don't tell you it enough. Your legs are long and thinking about them get me hot, your boobs are fantastic and when you wear your silk bra and its cold, well let's just say amazing, and your hair I love it, but mostly I love your gorgeous green eyes because when I look into them I feel like I can see my soul and yours reflected in them." Alex finishes smiling at a teary eyed Casey.

"Thank you, baby. Now is dinner ready, because I don't want my after dinner surprise to get ruined!"

"Yes! Let's eat!" Alex exclaims clapping her hands.

* * *

After dinner Casey told Alex to put on a fleece and to follow her to the porch. Once there Alex saw the lit lanterns and grinned. "Are we going on a night time boat ride?"

"Yep! Now to the boat gorgeous!" Casey said grabbing the blondes hand and walking her to the boat.

Climbing into the boat Casey had Alex sit in the center where she could lean on the pillows that were propped against the bow seat while Casey rowed them to the center of the lake. Alex loved watching Casey. She always seemed so sure of herself when it came to anything athletic and she didn't even look tired or strained by the rowing of the boat.

Once they were in the center of the lake, Casey secured the oars and lay down next to Alex. She turned her iPhone on to play some soft romantic music and then snuggled up with the blonde. Casey took a breath, "Do you know what my first memory of you is?"

Alex tapped her finger against her chin, "Umm, me tackling you in front of Petrovsky's office?"

"Nope," Casey grinned, "Want to try again?"

"You win, what is it."

"Same day, but it was that morning. I was in the coffee shop across the street from the DA's office and you were there at the front of the line ordering your fancy drink. I saw you and I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen." Casey confessed.

Alex smiled, "You never told me that."

"I was keeping it for a special occasion and now felt right."

Alex thought for a moment, "You want to know when I first realized that I was in love with you?"

"Yes!"

"It was the moment I kissed you goodnight on our first date. I knew I loved you when I couldn't stop kissing you. I kept dragging it out because I didn't want to leave you."

Casey laughed, "That was also the first night we slept together and come to think about we've been together every night since minus when you had to go away."

"See I told you, I didn't want to be without you. That is how I knew I was in love with you." Alex sighed looking up at the stars, "Thank you Casey for helping me to remember."

"Anytime Alex," Casey whispered into her lover's ear, "When you need to remember how much I love you and how many good memories of you I have I want you to remember these stars. That is how much I love you and how many good memories I have of you and how many more I want to make with you."

Alex curled deeper into Casey. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God every day for you."

Placing a kiss to Alex's lips Casey replied, "The feeling is mutual."

The two lovers fell asleep in each other's arms watching the stars and sharing kisses.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: It's a one chapter night! It's been a long day. Hopefully I will be able to post more over the weekend! Enjoy and thank you all for your reviews! It helps keep my muse motivated!**

The next morning Alex woke up from another nightmare. This time though she laughed realizing that she and Casey were in the middle of the lake still. "Case," Alex prodded the sleeping redhead, "Casey wake up."

Not getting a response from the redhead she decides to fix the situation herself and row them back to the dock. However after about five minutes of trying to row Alex gives up dropping the oars to the side she suddenly thinks it would be easier to swim the boat to shore. Suddenly her gasps for air are met with quiet laughter, Alex scowls realizing Casey is awake and taking humor from her failure.

"What is so funny?" Alex retorts.

"Aww baby, you were so cute trying to row us in," Casey says playfully pecking her frustrated girlfriend on the lips, "but why don't you leave it to me."

"I tried to wake you up sleeping beauty."

"Hey I don't remember you kissing me!"

Alex rolls her eyes at this statement moving over to let Casey row them back to shore. Now moving at speed to the shore Alex asks, "So what's the plan for today?"

Yawning in need of coffee Casey answers, "Well coffee for sure, but after that I have us set to go riding at about 10:30. If that's too early for you we can push it back, but I figured if we left earlier we could pack a lunch and eat it somewhere along the trail."

Alex smiled at the thoughtful redhead, "You sure planned this weekend out. Are there any other plans I should be aware of?"

"I don't know," Casey teases as she ties the boat to the dock, "You will just have to wait and see!"

* * *

While riding the trails around the lake that afternoon Alex found her mind wandering. Casey's starry night surprise was beautiful and heartfelt. Every time Alex thought about what Casey had said about the stars and her love it made Alex smile. Looking over and seeing the cowboy hat clad redhead, Alex smiled. She knew without a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Casey and Casey Novak just gave her the best proposal idea.

"What's the story Cabot?" the redhead questioned.

Alex tried to feign a serious look but couldn't shake the big grin on her face, "What do you mean Novak?"

Casey laughed at Alex's expression, "Well, you are super quiet and staring at me with a big cheesy grin on your face so you obviously are planning something so spill!"

"I do not have a cheesy grin," Alex defends.

"But you are planning something."

"Maybe, you will have to wait and see!" Alex said mimicking Casey from earlier.

Rolling her eyes Casey laughed, "Nicely played Cabot, nicely played."

Stopping for lunch by the lake Alex was amazed at how lucky she was to have Casey. Alex was truly stunned that such an amazing person could love her so much. As she tied up the horses she watched Casey lay out the blanket and set out the lunch. The sunlight reflected off Casey's red hair perfectly almost giving it a glowing look even if it was tied into pig tails. Watching her girlfriend Alex felt like she was falling even more in love with the redhead.

Alex walked over and took Casey into her arms. Looking into her eyes she smiled and said, "I will remember how beautiful you are every time I think about this moment." Kissing Casey she wished that she could stay in this moment forever. She finally felt normal but how long would it last.

* * *

Driving back to the lake house Alex turns in her seat to face Casey, "So tell me what are we doing now?"

"No, I want it to be a surprise."

"Give me a hint please," Alex pleads.

"No, I learned my lesson last time. No more hints for you Cabot ever!" Casey said in a serious tone.

Alex smirked, "Don't make threats you can't keep Counselor."

"Who says I don't intend to keep it?"

Alex laughed, "Your history."

Casey frowned, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Alex taps her chin, "Let's see there was the time you threatened to never kiss me again if I didn't let you watch Grey's Anatomy live, you failed considering you were making out with me 15 minutes later while not watching Greys."

"One time!"

"Then there was the time that you said you'd never let me drive the car again if I honked the horn one more time, you never kept up that threat."

"Okay! I cave, you win!" Casey said holding one hand up while the other stayed on the wheel.

"And there was the threat of no sex..."

Casey laughed, "Well obviously that one was never going to hold."

Alex smiled as they pull in the driveway to the lake house, "Like I said yesterday babe, I know you too well."

Parking the car Casey looked over to Alex, "You ready for your surprise now?"

"Yes!" Alex squealed.

"Okay, let's go!"

Exiting the car and walking into the house Alex discovered popcorn on the living room table along with an ice bucket of beer and a note on the table next to the remote saying press play. Curious Alex looked at Casey, "How did you do all of this?"

"I had some help from Kim and Abbie. Obviously Kim gave Abbie the job of handling snacks and drinks!" Casey responded with a grin. Sitting down on the couch Casey motioned for Alex to join her. Alex did as directed and grabbed the remote.

Looking into Casey's eyes she asked, "What are we about to watch?"

"Hit play and see," Casey said opening a beer and taking a sip.

"Is it porn?"

Laughing heartily Casey said, "No, more like my favorite story."

Alex shook her head not knowing what she was going to encounter and pressed play. Suddenly music started playing and across the screen words appeared saying 'the life of Alexandra Cabot'. There were pictures of Alex as a baby and growing up, pictures of her in college and law school, pictures of her in the courtroom and pictures of her with the SVU detectives. Then the song switched and the words on the screen said 'the life of Casey Novak'. There were again baby pictures and pictures of growing up, sporting pictures and college pictures and law school, and courtroom pictures. Then the song changed again and the words said the 'life of Casey and Alex'. Now there were pictures of both of them or photos they had taken of one another. There were pictures of the time Casey tried to teach Alex to ski, and when Alex took Casey to her first opera. Not to mention the countless daily pictures Casey insisted they take together. Then there were the random pictures that only they would find cute and sentimental like pictures of Casey sleeping and pictures of Alex applying makeup. The last photo was the picture her Uncle Bill had taken of her and Casey on the beach at her family reunion with them holding each other Casey smiling and Alex leaning back laughing. Under the photo it says 'the woman of my dreams is really mine'. Then the movie was over.

Alex looked over at Casey with tears running down her face. Casey leaned over and wiped away the tears. Then she pressed her lips to Alex's in a sweet but firm kiss.

"I wanted you to see you how I see you." Leaning back she points to the screen and says, "That is your story and my story and our story and there is so much more to add and I need you to be there to add it with me."

Alex climbs on top of Casey and holds her face in between her hands. "You will always have me Casey Diane Novak, now and forever." She says leaning forward and kissing Casey.

Smiling into the kiss Casey says, "That's very good Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot because I don't ever intend to let you go again, now or ever."

* * *

The next morning Casey brings Alex breakfast in bed. Waking up with a smile on her face she leans over and gives Casey a small peck on the lips to say thank you. Snuggling into the redhead Alex lets out a sigh of pleasure, she is excited about breakfast but also relieved that she didn't have any nightmares the previous night.

"So what is your plan today?" Alex asks expectantly.

"We my dear are having a Bar-B-Que today with friends, if you are up to it," Casey answers stealing a piece of bacon.

"Oh, sounds fun. Who is coming?"

"Abbie and Kim, Elliot and Kathy, Olivia and Serena. If it's too much Alex tell me and I will happily cancel and we can spend the day in bed." Casey says wiggling her eyebrows.

Alex laughs, "Its fine Case, it will be nice to see everyone. I really am feeling better."

"You sure? I really don't want to push you too fast."

"I am sure babe." Alex says giving Casey a quick kiss. "Now, let's eat and get a shower."

"Mmm, what kind of shower?" Casey asked laying sideways on the bed her head resting next to Alex's side.

Alex laughs, "Your mind is always in the gutter."

"You better believe it is, the things you do to me, how could it not be. Geez, I am getting all hot thinking about it."

"Okay, so separate showers then." Alex says laughing as Casey swats her side.

* * *

Later that afternoon Casey and Alex were lounging in each other's arms on the dock with their friends. Elliot and Abbie were arguing about cooking while Kathy chatted up Serena. Kim and Casey were enjoying talking about the upcoming episode of Greys Anatomy while Alex and Olivia caught up. It was comfortable and nice everything seemed so normal.

As Casey held Alex to her chest the blonde absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down Casey's arm while she talked to Olivia. Casey smiled noticing how at peace Alex was with everyone and everything. Since they had been at the lake house Casey hadn't had to help Alex find an emotion Alex had been able to map her feelings fine on her own which was a huge improvement. Casey hoped that maybe this weekend was just what Alex needed to find herself again.

"Casey!" Kim said snapping her fingers in front of the redhead.

"Yeah?" Casey responded shaking her head to clear it a little.

"Elliot wants to know how you want your steak they are going to put them on the grill."

"Oh," Casey said looking in Elliot's direction, "medium rare. Thanks!"

"Sure thing Red." Elliot called back.

Alex looked up at Casey pulling her sunglasses down a little and making eye contact she asked, "Red?"

Before Casey could answer Olivia laughed and said, "It's the squads nickname for Casey it's short for Red Hot. She got it working her first case in SVU."

Alex questions, "How is that?"

Elliot jumps into give the explanation, "Casey showed up on her first case acting all super ADA. She had to visit every crime scene as they were being investigated, kind of acting like a detective and ADA in one, totally annoying the hell out of Liv and I."

Olivia chimes in, "You know how Elliot hates being ordered around."

Elliot smirks looking over his sunglasses, "Pot? Kettle?"

Liv laughs, "Anyway we have this missing little girl and we hunt the perp down to a boat dock but the little girl is nowhere in sight and Elliot is about to drown the perp to get a confession when Casey runs out onto the dock and finds the little girl in a cooler, totally saving the day."

"Earning her nickname Red Hot!" Elliot finishes.

Casey begins to worry seeing Alex's face start to change and feeling her stiffen in her arms. Realizing she needed to intervene quickly to stop Alex from breaking down in front of everyone she says, "I need to go pull out the sides, hey Alex can you help me."

Alex doesn't say anything she just stands and starts walking towards the house.

"We will be right back," Casey adds running after Alex.

Once inside the house Alex starts to break down crying. Casey grabs onto her as she starts to fall to the floor scooping her up into her arms she carryings the sobbing blonde into their bedroom and lays her on the bed holding her tight. "Baby what happened to you out there?" Casey asked.

"I…I d-don't…k-know," Alex cries.

"Okay, its okay, just catch your breath. I am here, we will figure this out." Casey soothes rubbing circles on Alex's back. After about ten minutes Alex settles and Casey realizes she has fallen asleep. Casey holds the blonde tight refusing to let her go, the last thing she wants to do is have her wake up alone.

Twenty minutes later Kathy lightly taps on the door and whispers, "Everything okay?"

"It will be," Casey replies, "she's just still readjusting. She fell asleep crying so I don't want to leave her. You all enjoy yourselves you aren't bothering us."

"Okay, no worries. If you all aren't out by the time we leave we will clean up and I will have Kim lock you all in for the night." Kathy says.

Casey smiles at the motherly woman, "Thank you Kathy."

"Anytime."

Casey scoots down a little in the bed and as she does Alex immediately readjusts herself into the redhead laying her head on Casey's chest and wrapping her arms tightly around her. Casey leans in and kisses the blonde on the head whispering, "Rest baby, I will be here when you wake up."


	9. Chapter 9

Alex starts to wake up. Without even opening her eyes she knows she is snuggled up to Casey. She snuggles in closer to her girlfriend listening to her steady heartbeat and breathing. She smells so good like her peach flower scented lotion and this smell that was just well Casey. Suddenly Alex remembers that they have or possibly had company and sits up and looks out the window. It was dark outside now, was anyone left at the house or had she scared them all away with her breakdown. The last thing she could remember was coming inside after Elliot and Olivia told a story about Casey she was upset and started to cry and Casey brought her to the bedroom to calm down, she must have fallen asleep.

Quietly climbing out of bed to not wake Casey she walked out into the living room. She could hear people talking in the kitchen so she started in that direction. But before she reached the swinging door she heard Casey call her name.

"Alex."

"Hey," Alex said turning around, "Did I wake you?"

Casey shook her head, "No, but I wish you had. We need to talk."

"I know, but it sounds like our friends are getting ready to leave," Alex replies motioning to the voices on the other side of the door, "I want to apologize before they go."

"You don't have to apologize Alex, I already talked to Kathy. They understand." Casey started but was interrupted.

"Don't tell me what to do Casey! I can make my own decisions. I don't need you to take care of me!" Alex screamed catching Casey completely off guard. Casey paled at Alex's reaction, and could hear her friends voices stop abruptly in the kitchen probably now fully aware of the two being awake. Alex shook her head, "Casey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"Whatever Alex," Casey said sighing, "I…I am going to go take a shower. Do whatever you want to."

"Casey," Alex started but was cut off by the bedroom door closing effectively ending the conversation. Alex took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. She couldn't figure out why she had gotten so mad at Casey and so quickly. Why did she react that way? Casey was only trying to help her. Casey was right Alex needed professional help, because at this rate she was going to drive Casey away. Casey could tolerate a lot, but yelling, well that was more like screaming, was not one of them it was a huge raw spot for her because of Charlie. That was the worst part Alex knew she had scared Casey.

Turning and walking into the kitchen Alex was greeted by their friends all wide eyed and looking right at her. She suddenly wished she could just disappear. It was apparent that some felt bad for her and some, well Kim, wanted to hurt her.

Taking a breath Alex began, "I just wanted to come in and say I am sorry for earlier. I hope you all had a good time and drive safely on your way home. Maybe we can cook dinner for you one night to make up for today. I promise it will be a lot less eventful," pausing to look in everyone's eyes she added, "now if you will excuse me I have to go apologize to my amazing girlfriend for being an ass."

Elliot caught her arm as she walked back into the living room. Looking directly into Alex's eyes he said, "Alex, I want you to know everything you are dealing with is normal."

"What do you mean Elliot? Please explain how breaking down in a hysterical mess and scaring my girlfriend normal." Alex asks with a look of confusion on her face.

"It's all PTSD Alex. There are varying degrees. I saw lots of guys in the service suffer from it."

"I thought that I was over it," Alex said more to herself, "I know I had it to some degree in Wisconsin, but that was mostly nightmares, depression, and flashbacks, nothing like what I am experiencing now. Even the nightmares are different."

"It's the name of the game Cabot." Elliot sighs.

"Well, I have got to do something about it. I won't tolerate scaring or possibly hurting Casey. I think I am going to see a therapist or something. All I know is something has to change I can't keep going like this tonight was a wakeup call." Alex says more to herself than to Elliot.

"I hope you do, it will help. Well, I will let you go to Casey we have a drive ahead of us."

"Thank you Elliot."

Giving her a hug Elliot replies, "Anytime Alex. I am just so happy you are back."

Watching Elliot walk out of the room Alex sat down on the couch to collect her thoughts and words before approaching Casey. She needed to make this better she needed to be better. Never before the shooting did Alex question whether or not she was good enough for Casey it wasn't out of vanity or anything it was just she fully believed that they were meant for each other, but right now she questioned it. How could she be right for Casey if she was capable of hurting her? Even though Alex knew she couldn't control her own emotions right now she still felt responsible for her actions and right now her actions hurt the woman she loved more than anyone or anything in this world.

Getting dressed after her shower Casey kept replaying Alex's words in her head. She didn't know what she had done to set off the blonde and honestly that's what scared her. Alex's words didn't hurt so much because Casey knew that Alex didn't mean them and that Alex was currently an emotional mess, but the not knowing what set off her anger filled explosion reminded her way to much of Charlie. That's how everything began with Charlie and Casey couldn't go back to living in fear like that again. Something had to change and fast. Granted Casey didn't think Alex would ever lay a hand on her in a violent manner like Charlie.

Opening the door to the living room Casey saw Alex sitting on the couch head in her hands. Casey could see just how broken Alex looked at this moment. Walking over to her and sitting on the couch she said, "Alex, we need to talk."

"I-I can't not yet," Alex replied with her head still in her hands, "I need to find all the right words first. I-I want you to know exactly what I am feeling and to hear my thoughts just right. It is really important to me Casey that you hear me just right."

"O-Ok, can I hold you until then?" Casey asks wanting to comfort the troubled blonde.

At this statement Alex looks up at her, "I don't deserve to be comforted by you."

Casey doesn't even offer a response she just pulls Alex into her arms holding her tight against her chest. Alex starts to cry, "I am so sorry Casey, I am so so sorry." Casey just keeps holding on to Alex, she doesn't know exactly what to say and the things that come directly to mind probably won't help right now.

Finally Alex takes a breath and pulls out of Casey's embrace. Drying her eyes she looks at Casey. "Okay," Alex starts, "I am ready."

Casey shakes her head and says, "Okay, please start."

"Before we went on our first real date you told me and trusted me with your story of surviving the mess with Charlie. When we started dating I promised to never treat you like that to never scare you like Charlie did and to my knowledge I never had until tonight. I saw the look in your eyes, the look on your face as I screamed at you tonight," Alex paused to wipe her now steadily falling tears, "I broke my promise and I am so incredibly sorry for that Casey. I love you more than anything Casey and I will forever be sorry that I scared you that I gave you reason to be afraid of me."

Taking a breath to steady her voice she continued, "I want to promise you that I will never do anything like that again, but I can't not right now at least because I am broken Casey. I am getting better thanks to you, but I am still broken. But what I can promise you is that I am going to get help, treatment whatever it takes even if I have to commit myself. I will make sure I get better so this never happens again. I want to be with you Casey, I want to marry you and have children with you, and if I lost you I wouldn't have a reason to go on. If you need me to go until I am better I will go but I want you to know that even though I can't promise you I won't do it again right now that I am going to get help so it never happens again."

Casey was now crying as she finally spoke, "I don't want you to go Alex. I do want you to get help though, but I don't ever want to be without you again. I love you and I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you too, but you have to get help first. I will be with you every step of the way."

Alex leans her head against Casey, both women crying as they loosely hold onto each other. Finally Casey moves her hand to Alex's chin lifting her head softly so she can look in her eyes, without saying a word she leans forward and softly kisses Alex. She pulls back just enough to look in her eyes again and whispers, "I love you Alexandra," and kisses her again this time parting her lips enough to run her tongue lightly across Alex's lower lip gaining access to Alex's mouth. Their kiss becomes heated quickly with their flooding emotions taking over. Alex pulls Casey onto her lap, Casey moving to straddle Alex's waist as they pull each other closer.

Finally Casey breaks the kiss, "Make love to me Alex."

Alex looks into Casey's eyes, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, please. Please Alex make love to me I need to feel you I need you to make me feel good."

Alex nods kissing Casey again and kissing down her neck only pulling away to pull off Casey's shirt and remove her bra. The sight of Casey's exposed chest causes Alex to lick her lips as her eyes darken with want quickly she tilts Casey back just enough to be able to easily take a nipple in her mouth. Casey's lets out a hiss as the sensation takes over she bucks her hips into Alex trying to gain more pleasure. Alex nips the hard nipple between her teeth running the tip of her tongue in random patterns over it.

"Oh God Alex, I need more please," Casey pleads.

Alex lets go, "Stand up. Take off your pants and underwear."

Casey does as told standing now naked in front of Alex her breathing is ragged, "P-please Alex, touch me."

Alex scoots to the edge of the couch and pulls Casey to stand right in front of her. Casey's hot center is right in front of her mouth. Lifting one of Casey's long legs to rest on her shoulder Alex leans in and begins running her tongue through Casey's waiting wetness. "Oh God yes, oh yes," Casey cries out tangling her hands in Alex's hair to pull her closer.

Alex sucks Casey's clit into her mouth running her teeth and tongue over the bundle of nerves. Casey's cries of pleasure fill the room. Knowing that Casey is close Alex enters her with two fingers curving them slightly to hit Casey's g-spot as she moves her fingers in and out. It doesn't take long for Casey to come crying out Alex's name.

Falling into Alex's arms Casey kisses Alex briefly still trying to regain her breath. "Oh my…that was…amazing." Casey pants.

Alex smiles placing another kiss to Casey's lips, "Ready for bed?"

"I am ready to have you in bed," Casey says with a smirk.

Alex licks her lips, "Then by all means lead the way."

Rising off Alex, Casey walks into the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed she watches Alex undress. "You are so gorgeous," Casey says pulling Alex down onto the bed with her, "Now my turn."

Just as quickly as she says those three words she has Alex and her in a sitting position, Alex straddling Casey's slightly parted thighs. One of Casey's hands is on Alex's lower back in a supporting fashion and the other is ever so lightly dancing over Alex's slick folds. The sensation causes Alex to suck in a breath as Casey begins to lick and nip at Alex's nipples playfully. As Casey sucks one stiff bud into her mouth flicking her tongue over it she grazes her thumb lightly over Alex's clit causing Alex to let out a deep throated hiss and buck her hips trying to get more access to Casey. Casey smiles and lets the nipple pop out of her mouth as she looks up at Alex. "Can I help you Counselor?" Casey asks knowingly.

"More Casey," Alex whines. Casey takes the other nipple in her mouth biting it lightly and licking it before saying, "like that?"

"No," Alex whines. Casey smiles and run her finger lightly through Alex's wetness up to her clit and rubs a light circle over it gaining a loud pleasurable cry from Alex. "Like that?" Casey asks.

"Yes, Casey, more…" Alex pleads. Casey repeats the movement three more times feeling Alex becoming wetter with each stroke. Alex rocks into Casey's fingers every time Casey touches her clit, she is desperate for release. Seeing how on edge the blonde is Casey pulls her fingers from Alex and sucks them into her mouth relishing the taste. Alex's eyes deepen with want even more watching Casey actions. Finally the blonde begs, "Casey inside please."

With that Casey slides two fingers quickly into Alex's wet core leaving her thumb pressed firmly against Alex's clit and starts pumping her curved fingers in and out of Alex. Alex begins to rock against Casey's fingers as she cries out, "Oh Christ, Casey yes, just like that." Casey feels the blonde leaning back slightly as Casey helps to hold her into place with her other hand while continuing to thrust in and out of Alex. Alex's moans of pleasure are loud and breathtaking, and Casey can feel her walls tightening around her fingers she knows she is close but needs more so Casey adds a third finger as she works Alex's g-spot effectively sending Alex crashing over the edge chanting Casey's name.

Casey holds Alex against her as she comes down from her high. Then they both fall back on the bed panting. "Jesus, Casey," Alex tries to speak while catching her breath, "That was…wow…unbelievable."

Casey smiles and kisses Alex softly pulling her close into her. Softly she says, "I love you Alex."

"I love you too Casey." Alex whispers falling asleep holding onto Casey.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Let the healing begin. Btw, Elliot did not suffer from PTSD but had buddies who did hence his advice and knowledge. Also, I am totally getting the idea that Cavak is figuring out the story! :)**

_Alex walked down the hall to the morgue. She felt so cold, she could barely breathe. Olivia stood on one side of her and Elliot on the other they were basically guiding her to a location she didn't want to go. There had to be a mistake this couldn't have happened. _

_Walking into the cold room Alex saw Melinda standing with a sad face next to the sheet covered gurney. Melinda is asking her if she is ready and Alex nods. Everything will be fine this is just a huge mistake. _

_Although, when Melinda pulls the sheet back there is no mistake or denying it any further, it's Casey. Alex begins to shake almost violently as she reaches out her fingers to touch the beautiful redheads face. "How, how could this be it's a mistake it can't be Casey," Alex says crying._

_Casey's skin is so cold, but it is supposed to be warm. Alex begins to shake the redhead while begging her to wake up. Elliot touches her shoulder and says it's time to go, but Alex can't leave she can't leave Casey. She lays her head on Casey's chest willing her heart to beat again praying to God to take her instead and finally she starts to let out a wailing sob._

Suddenly Alex is awoken. She is in her bed in her home and Casey is over her with a concerned look in her eyes. Casey runs her hands over Alex's cheeks wiping the blonde's tears away. "It's ok Alex, I am right here everything is ok baby," Casey soothes.

Alex pulls Casey tight against her holding on to her and silently thanking God that it was just a nightmare. Casey pushes up a little to look into Alex's eyes. The blonde is still crying but not like she was in her sleep. Casey asks softly, "Want to tell me about it?"

Alex shakes her head yes and begins, "I was in the morgue, I had to identify the body and it was you. You had been killed."

Casey nods, "That explains your screams."

"What…what was I screaming?" Alex questions.

"You were screaming 'no take me instead, no Casey, Casey,'" Casey answers. She takes a breath and continues while running her hand through Alex's hair, "It was just a dream Alex, I am here everything is okay. Plus, remember our talk yesterday while we were driving home from the lake?"

Alex smiles, "The one about you taking a little time off work?"

"Yes, well I called Branch this morning and set up a meeting to talk to him tomorrow about it. So I still have today off with you so we can see Violet together and then I will go to work tomorrow and pending everything goes well, hopefully I will be able to take the next two weeks off to be with you." Casey finishes watching Alex's reaction carefully.

Alex purses her lips and nods her head, "Sounds like a plan at least. Hopefully everything will work out, but if it doesn't we can figure something out. Thank you Casey for being willing to take time off to help me work through this mess."

"Alex you are the love of my life. Like I said yesterday in the car, if staying at home with you for a while is what is best for you, then it is what's best for me. Now get up, I made us breakfast."

"You made breakfast? What did you make?" Alex questions with a smile.

"I made eggs, bacon, toast and most importantly coffee!" Casey replies clearly most excited about the coffee.

"Sounds amazing babe." Alex said kissing Casey quickly and hoping out of bed.

* * *

After breakfast the two got ready for Casey and Alex's appointment with Violet. Alex was nervous and preceded to show those nerves by changing her outfit eight times before settling on a black scoop neck long sleeve shirt and her favorite jeans finished with a white jacket and heels. Casey laughed, "You know you looked fine like forty minutes ago."

"I want to look good," Alex responds looking pointedly at Casey.

"Baby you look gorgeous in whatever you wear. Plus this isn't a date you are going to therapy the most important thing is being comfortable," Casey assures placing a light kiss to her girlfriends lips.

"I am comfortable. You ready because I am so ready."

Casey grabs her bag and replies, "Yes, I am so let's go so we won't be late."

* * *

Walking into Violet's office, Alex found herself filled with anxiety. She and Casey sat next to each other on the couch. Casey realizing how on edge Alex was quickly becoming took Alex's hand in hers and whispered in Alex's ear, "Everything will be okay, I am right here baby."

Violet smiled at the couple. It was nice to see Casey seemingly back to normal now that Alex was back in the picture. It reminded her of a time when Casey had mentioned that the only thing that would make her better was Alex she was clearly right. However, Alex looked like she wasn't in the best emotional state and Violet found that very concerning.

"So Alex, Casey called me this morning to fill me in a little on what to expect today, but before we get to that I would like to say welcome back. Now I would like to hear from you about why you are here today." Violet starts.

Alex looks at Casey and takes a breath and begins, "I believe I am suffering from PTSD. As you know I was shot a year and a half ago and placed into witness protection. While there I suffered from flashbacks, depression and nightmares about my shooting. I would have seen someone then, but felt it was pointless since I couldn't tell anyone what had really happened. Now that I am back I am still having problems just different ones."

Violet nods, "Okay, so what are you experiencing now?"

"First it was like all my emotions were a giant jigsaw puzzle, I couldn't tell if I was happy, sad, or any other emotion. I would ask Casey to help me pick an emotion and it seemed to help."

Violet nods and asks, "How did Casey help?"

"One time she made me laugh, one time sex, and another a kiss." Alex says blushing.

Casey laughs, "A pretty hot kiss that your mom interrupted."

"Okay, I will add that to my notes Casey," Violet says with a chuckle, "please continue Alex."

"Then I had a panic attack after facing my would-be murderer in court. I was fine before and while testifying but afterwards I completely broke down. I ended up in a ball on the floor of one of the courthouse conference rooms. Then Casey came and I was better and she took me away for the weekend."

"Okay, how did the weekend go?" Violet questions feeling like this is where things probably came to a head.

"Casey planned a beautiful weekend for me. She showed me in numerous ways how much she loves me and really helped me find myself again. Everything seemed fine. I wasn't having all the jumbled emotions anymore, I wasn't having nightmares, and I really thought I was better. Then we had our friends over for a cookout. I was enjoying myself we all were, and then two of them told a story about one of Casey's first cases for SVU and I fell apart."

Violet realizes the case Alex is referring to, "Casey is Alex referring to the case that you found the little girl?"

Casey nods and says, "Yes. Her entire demeanor changed as she heard the story. She tensed up and her face changed. I gave us a reason to go inside and when we got inside she started crying hysterically. I carried her to the bedroom where she fell asleep so I stayed with her."

Violet noticed how Casey stops talking and looks away. Violet looks to Alex who is looking at the floor, "Then what happened, Alex?"

"I woke up and went to apologize to our friends but before I could Casey woke up and stopped me. She wanted to talk and was trying to tell me it was okay that she had already talked to them. I exploded at her. I started screaming at her for no reason, she hadn't even done anything wrong, but I couldn't control myself. I scared her." Alex was crying by the time she finished.

"Casey what happened after that?" Violet questions.

Casey takes a deep breath, "I left the room and took a shower, and Alex apologized to our friends. I wasn't upset by what she said I was just scared about her exploding at me without reason it reminded me of Charlie. So when I got out of the shower we talked. Alex told me she was sorry and that she needed help to ensure that she never scared me again and that if I wanted her to go until she got help she would, but I didn't want her to go. I don't want her to go or leave me ever again. We told each other how much we loved each other and then we had sex." Casey finished biting her lip.

"I am beginning to see a common denominator with you two." Violet starts, "You both are using sex to channel your emotions right now which is understandable right now based on everything you both have been through over the course of the last year and a half and having literally just been reunited. I am not saying it's currently a problem, but I want you both to be mindful of it going forward. So in essence keep in mind sex is okay, make up sex is okay, sex to avoid all other feelings is not okay." Alex and Casey both nod in understanding.

Violet continues, "Now, Alex this is very important so you were okay emotionally and nightmares gone until you heard the story about Casey is that right?"

Alex hesitates but answers, "Yes."

"Then you breakdown crying, and explode at Casey. Has there been any other change?"

"Yes, my nightmares have returned," Alex answers.

"About you being shot," Violet asks.

Alex shakes her head, "No, since I have been back they have been about Casey dying."

Violet looks at the couple, "That piece of information helps greatly. It explains why hearing the story set you off."

"How?" Casey asks leaning in.

"Casey when Alex left she lost you and everything else in her life. Now that she is back she is dealing with all of the emotions of trying to piece her life back together. That is an immensely difficult ordeal, but think what is the one thing in her entire life that she came home to that didn't change, you. You still were madly in love with her and you didn't change your home. She essentially had one constant and that constant was you the love of her life. Now once all the rest of her started to fall back into place she hears a story of you working for the same squad that she almost lost her life for and it terrified her because she is terrified of losing you." Violet finishes and let the information settle with the two women.

"She is right Casey," Alex says, "I am so scared of losing you."

Casey looks over to Alex, "I am not going anywhere."

"I didn't think I was going anywhere either Casey, but I did." Alex states.

"Alex," Violet interjects, "Right now your anxiety is amplifying all of your emotions including your fear of losing Casey. This is causing your outbursts and nightmares. I plan to write you a script to help you with that for the time being, but I suggest once a week meetings so I can help you come up with better and healthier coping mechanisms. If you need to talk before we meet next week I want you to call me and we will talk on the phone or work out a time for you to come in. I don't care if its 3 am you call me."

Alex nods in understanding.

"Now I have a little homework assignment for you two. Every day I want you both to talk about your feelings. Alex I want you to especially talk about your fears about losing Casey. I am sure you both do this fairly well seeing as to how fast Alex was bouncing back so keep along those lines. Alex if you have a nightmare I want you to discuss the whole nightmare with Casey it will help them go away. Sound easy?"

Both women reply yes.

As they stand to leave Casey asks, "Hey Violet, I am planning on seeing if I can take two weeks off work to help Alex with her healing that's okay right?"

Violet smiles, "I think that would be ideal if you can. Alex seems to draw strength from you Casey so it can only help. By the way, I want you two to know that I think you will be okay. Alex you seem very strong and you are making huge strides in recovery hang in there."

Violet passes Alex two prescriptions, "One is an SSRI it will help reduce the symptoms take it daily per directions. The other script is to only be taken if you have a panic attack."

"Thank you," Alex says.

"Hang in there you will be okay Alex." Violet says with a warm smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter is about Casey and Alex working out there feelings. After I finished last night's chapters I really felt like they needed this time. I hope you enjoy. **

Alex and Casey lay cuddled together on the couch listening to the rain later that afternoon. Casey was curled into Alex's embrace listening to the blonde's heartbeat and breathing. To her there was no better sound in the world. "Alex," Casey said interrupting the silence, "Are you going to be okay when I go to the office tomorrow morning?"

Alex ran her fingers through Casey's hair, "Yeah babe I will be fine. Honestly, I plan to go back to bed until you get home."

"What if I don't get my leave granted, what will you do then?" Casey asks the sound of worry mounting in her voice.

"Then I guess I will have to get up and clean the apartment," Alex answers with a chuckle in her voice. The sound of the humor put Casey at ease again. Snuggling back into Alex's embrace Casey starts to close her eyes and is soon asleep.

Waking up about two hours later Casey is surprised to see the apartment lit by candles. Realizing she is alone on the couch and there is very little light coming in from outside Casey calls out, "Alex?"

"Hey Case, don't worry the power went out twenty minutes ago the storm has gotten pretty bad outside. I don't know how you have been sleeping through all the thunder." Alex walks back into the room with a flashlight and a tray holding two mugs. Sitting back down on the couch with Casey she snuggles back into the redhead.

"I made us some hot cocoa with marshmallows just like you like it." Alex says giving Casey a little kiss on the cheek, "it's times like this that I love the gas stove."

"I agree," Casey says taking one of the warm mugs from the table, "Any idea how long this storm is going to last."

"Looks like a while from the weather reports, I figured we could just snuggle and talk. You know, work on some Violet homework!"

Casey smiles, "I like the sound of that! So you want to go first?"

"Sure," Alex says, "but I am not prepared. So I get an 'F' your turn."

Casey lets out a loud laugh at Alex's joke almost spilling the hot cocoa on them both. Her laughing causes Alex to laugh and before long they are both desperately trying to catch their breath. Calming herself Alex restarts, "Ok, in all honesty I expected to come back to nothing from witness protection. I thought you would have moved on with your life although I prayed that you hadn't I didn't have faith. I thought I had lost everything and I wanted to die because of it. Yet coming home and walking through that door and seeing our home exactly like it was when I left was amazing it showed me just how much you still loved me and I felt like the most important part of my life was still intact. Casey I knew that I love you more than anything, but that is when I realized that you are everything to me. As screwed up as every other aspect was or might still be to an extent as long as I have you I am going to be fine that is why I am terrified to lose you."

Casey touched Alex's face and smiled, "You are my everything too Alex, it's why I couldn't move on. It's why I ran around with Liv and Elliot on that first case. Sitting in the DA's office without you was killing me, I needed to escape. I promise I don't do crazy things like that anymore, and if it will help you I will tell you all about my cases or switch to another unit. I am okay with doing those things if it helps us in the long run. I love you Alex more than anything in this world." She kissed Alex and lay back down on the couch pulling the blonde down into her arms.

They stayed like that for a few minutes soaking in each other's words. Finally Casey spoke up, "So changing the subject a little, you said you want us to have kids someday."

"Yeah, I do, you said you want them too."

Casey smiled, "Yes, I did, but I want to know how many do you want to have?"

"Four."

"Four!" Casey exclaimed wide-eyed, "You are having them right?"

"No I thought you were?" Alex replies with a grin.

"Are you being serious? I can't tell when the lights are off. Pass me the flashlight so I can shine it in your face and then retell me all of that."

Alex starts laughing at the flustered redhead, "Okay in all honesty, I would like two kids, but if we had more that is fine too. I do not care which one of us has the kids as long as we have kids, so if you don't want to be pregnant than I will happily have them."

"I don't mind the idea of being pregnant, I just don't want to jump on the bandwagon of having four just yet, but two sounds doable. I know we aren't having these kids for a long time, but do you have a name you like because I have one that I really like."

"If we have a little girl yes, I would really like to name our first daughter Vivian Elizabeth after my grandmother." Alex says with a smile.

"I love it so agreed. If we have a boy, I would like to name him Miles Alexander for my dad and your dad and well you." Casey replies with a grin.

"Oh I love that Casey what a good name. Miles, now I hope we have a boy first. Do you think your dad would be upset that we were using his middle name and not his first name?"

Casey thought for a moment, "I don't think so, plus it would make it a lot less confusing at family functions. Could you imagine having two James running around at Thanksgiving?"

"Wow, Casey one day we will actually have kids running around. We will have to buy a house."

"Yeah we will. Where would you want to live?" Casey asked.

Not missing a beat Alex replied, "The lake."

"Boy that would be a horrible commute to work every day. Why don't we buy a lake house and spend the weekends there and then just have a larger apartment for the weekdays." Casey offers up.

"Not as good as living at the lake, but I guess I can compromise. Although, I still think I would like a house or townhouse in the city, at least something big enough that they kids would not feel super cramped and we won't feel cramped."

"Well when that day comes we can look at everything you want until we find the right place." Casey says with a smile.

"Sounds good," Alex answers as her stomach growls, "Want to order a pizza?"

"Sure I am starved." Casey says with a kiss.

* * *

After dinner Casey and Alex decided to go lay in bed. The power had come back on about thirty minutes earlier, but instead of staying up watching TV or something they lay in their dimly lit room snuggled into one another. Enjoying each other seemed like a much better way to spend the remainder of the evening.

"Hey, wake me up when you get up tomorrow morning to get in the shower," Alex says.

Casey pushes up a little to look in Alex's eyes, "Why baby?"

"Because I want to make the coffee and yogurt for you tomorrow that way I get to spend more time enjoying you before you leave for work."

"Aw, thank you baby that is such a sweet idea. Just remember to add an extra scoop or two of coffee grounds to the coffee maker before brewing." Casey says with a grin.

Alex gasps, "Casey is that why the coffee is always super strong and I have to dump so much cream and sugar into it?"

"All the better to get the morning started."

"Oh my God, I just thought your coffee brand was ridiculously strong. I should have known you and your caffeine addiction was behind the taste." Alex sighed shaking her head.

Casey laughed, "You love me."

"Yes I do," Alex says with a kiss.

Laying her head back down on Alex's shoulder Casey smiles. Even though they had only had one appointment with Violet, Casey already felt better about Alex's progress. The blonde seemed so much more at ease this evening than any other evening since she had been home. Plus, Violet's homework had greatly seemed to help Alex open up about her fears. Chuckling to herself Casey thought, 'Go figure Charlotte always said Alex was an overachiever in school.'

Feeling Casey laugh against her Alex wonder what was going on in the mind of the redhead. She seemed so peaceful and happy tonight and Alex loved to hear her laugh. They'd both laughed more that night than any other night since Alex had been back. Alex loved this feeling it was as if they were getting back to normal, but Alex wasn't kidding herself she knew she had a long road ahead of her and she was not going to slack off for a minute because she had to get better for her and Casey's future to come true.

"Hey Casey,"

"Yeah."

"Thank you for tonight." Alex said.

Casey pushed up again and smiled at her girlfriend, "You're welcome, but what exactly do you mean?"

"Well, I know we talked about our 'Violet homework stuff' which felt really cathartic, but thank you for also talking to me about our future life. Talking about having kids and buying a home and other things was really helpful. Even though, they are far off plans it is really nice to have something to work towards and when those things involve my life with you it makes it even more exciting. So thank you."

Casey looked into Alex's eyes and smiled as she pushed a lock of blonde hair from her face, "I love talking about our future together so anytime you want to talk about it I am game. Now, speaking about the future what do you want to do this weekend?"

Smiling Alex said, "I don't know. I do know that at some point we need to have our friends over for dinner to make up for this past weekend, although, I don't really feel up to it just yet. Hey, why don't we get my mom and go to the beach house. Have a little family get away, if your parents and sister can make it we should have them join too!"

"I love that idea. I will call them tomorrow and see if they can pull it off. Otherwise, it will be a fantastic weekend with your mom. Are you sure you don't want to just spend time with your mom?" Casey questions not wanting her boisterous family to overrun the weekend.

Alex thinks for a moment then begins, "I really would like us all to be there. Plus, if I need one on one time with my mom we can always go out or go for a walk on the beach. Just if you will, please give your parents and sister a heads up on my condition okay. I want them to know I am working on stuff, but in case I breakdown I want them to know I am not totally crazy."

"No problem baby. Now, we should get some sleep tomorrow will be here before we know it!" Casey says kissing Alex goodnight.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I am really enjoying writing this way to much! Let me know what you think!**

Alex sat at the kitchen island flipping through cookbooks. Casey had left for work about an hour earlier and Alex couldn't go back to sleep after the 'Casey Power Coffee Brew,' so Alex thought she would plan a nice evening for the two of them. She intended to cook a nice dinner and planned a nice way to open up more about her time away from Casey. Since she was back in the city and Jack preferred her not to go while here until the trial was over she'd called her mom a little bit ago and arranged for her help getting the groceries and other supplies for the evening. Now she just needed to decide what she wanted to cook before her mom arrived in a little bit!

Finally deciding on a baked salmon recipe with a superfood salad she made a list for her mom and pulled out her laptop to get to work on her plan for after dinner. Hearing her phone ring she answered it without looking figuring it was her mom, "Hello?"

"Hey Alex, its Kim"

"Hey Kim," Alex said a little surprised by the call, "What's going on?"

"I wanted to see if I could stop by during my lunch break today to talk." Kim asked.

Alex frowned, the last time she saw Kim she looked like she wanted to physically hurt her. Alex understood Kim's reaction seeing as she was Casey's best friend but Alex was still apprehensive. Taking a breath and trying to stay positive Alex replied, "Yeah Kim that would be nice. My mom is stopping by any minute to get my grocery list can I have her pick us up something for lunch as well?"

"That would be nice Alex thank you. I will see you sometime around 1."

"Okay Kim, I will see you then." Alex finished disconnecting the call. As nervous as this lunch date made her she needed to make things right with the brunette. Kim was Casey's best friend and Alex respected their friendship so she needed to mend any fences and the sooner the better. The last thing she wanted was to come between her girlfriend and her girlfriend's best friend.

The knock on the door alerted Alex to her mother's arrival. Opening the door she smiled and immediately hugged her mom tight. "Thank you for coming to help Mom," Alex said breathing in the familiar smell of her mom.

Charlotte smiled at her daughter, "I would do anything for you honey, no need to thank me."

"Well thank you anyway," Alex said smiling.

"So what did you decide on?"

"I was thinking baked salmon with a superfood salad."

Charlotte looked confused, "A superfood salad?"

"I found it in the cookbook and it looked good," Alex stated.

"Whatever happened to sweet potatoes and asparagus?" Charlotte questions shaking her head at her sometimes overly health conscious daughter.

"Okay Mom, if you can't find these ingredients then sweet potatoes and asparagus will be fine. Oh, and can you pick up two deli sandwiches Kim called a minute ago and is stopping by for lunch."

"Alexandra," Charlotte says with concern in her voice, "Are you sure that's a good idea after this past weekend?"

Alex had filled her mom in Monday while she and Casey drove home from the lake, so she knew her mother's concern was genuine but she still felt like she needed to make things right. "Mom, I understand your concern, but I need to do this I can't be responsible for causing problems between Casey and Kim. I need to make this right as soon as possible."

"I understand that honey, but I don't want you to push yourself too fast. Plus, Kim can be a spitfire and you have a tendency on a good day to be headstrong I just don't want you two to get into it especially when Casey and Abbie aren't around to reel you two in."

"I hear you Mom. I will tell Kim right off the bat that we need to keep conversation mellow and if it gets heated I will tell Kim that we need to stop." Seeing the look on her Mom's face Alex continues, "I can't let this sit too long Mom. I know Casey has spoken to Kim and filled her in on what happened after they left and I am sure she probably spoke to her this morning about our appointment yesterday. Besides, I have been talking to Abbie about it all and Abbie tells Kim everything, so I am fairly certain Kim just wants to give me the 'I'm watching you Cabot' speech."

Charlotte nods, "Okay honey, if you are so certain then I support you. Just be careful."

"I will Mom, I promise. Plus, I kind of have selfish reasons for having this lunch." Alex says with a grin.

"What are you planning Alexandra?" Charlotte questions observing her daughters goofy grin.

"Follow me Mom," Alex says leading her mom out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom.

Walking into the bedroom, Alex heads into the closet, pulling down her Harvard Law sweatshirt she unfolds it and removes the small black velvet box. Heading back into her bedroom she sees her mother's eyes go wide. "Oh Alex," Charlotte says with tears in her voice.

"Now, don't worry Mom," Alex immediately starts, "I have no plans to propose until Violet says it's okay, I don't want to rush anything and potentially mess up my therapy, but I have a plan as to how I want to propose and I need Kim's help for when the time comes."

"I respect that honey. Can I see the ring? And when did you buy a ring?"

Alex passes the box to her mother and replies, "I bought it before I was shot. I had planned on proposing then but witness protection got in my way." Alex watches as her mom opens the box, her eyes go wide looking at the ring and Alex smiles.

"Oh my Alexandra," Charlotte says with a gasp, "It's gorgeous, it looks like Princess Diana's ring."

"I know. We were flipping through one of your books on Diana that Fourth of July before I was shot and there was a picture of the ring in the book and Casey mentioned how much she loved her ring."

"So you got this one for her."

"Yes, well I had it made. I knew I wanted to marry her, I just didn't know all the logistics about the proposal. Plus the ring was only finished a week prior to my shooting. I had hidden it in my sweatshirt in the closet." Alex said with a smile.

Charlotte shook her head, "And all that time it was right there and she never found it because she couldn't bring herself to pack up your belongings. Amazing..."

Alex nods in agreement taking the ring and re-hiding it in the closet. "So anyway, that is my plan. I am going to propose eventually and I need Kim's help to pull it off. Also, I plan to ask Casey's parents this weekend for their approval."

"Are you sure you are not planning on proposing sooner than later?" Charlotte questions.

Alex laughs, "I just want to be fully prepared this time."

* * *

Casey sat in her office preparing her case files for Kim to take over while she was on leave. She was so pleased with her meeting with Branch. He offered her paid leave with as much time as she needed to help Alex. It was a better deal than she could have dreamed of especially since the DA's office didn't have to allow her time off at all. Branch said he was super understanding, because he felt partially responsible for Alex's shooting and felt guilty for not taking the case away from the start, so in a way this was his way of clearing his conscience. Casey was so thankful for the time she hugged him and said she would take the rest of the day to overly prepare everything for Kim.

She called Alex to fill her in and the blonde was so excited that she shrieked over the phone. Casey smiled remembering the silly phone call. Assuring Alex that she would be home no later than 6 pm she got right to work going through everything for Kim. Kim was due in her office after her lunch break and she hoped that her best friend would be a little more supportive about this arrangement than she had been earlier when they discussed the possibility.

Casey was so lost in thought she didn't hear Abbie until she was standing over her desk. "Oh, Abbie! I am so sorry. What's up?" Casey asked.

"I just came to tell you that closing arguments start tomorrow. I expect the jury to start deliberations no later than tomorrow afternoon. With any luck we should have a verdict sometime Friday." Abbie said with a smile.

Smiling wide Casey replies, "Oh, thank you Abbie. I will tell Alex tonight, unless you want to tell her."

"Ah, don't worry I am pretty sure Kim will tell her at lunch."

"What do you mean?"

Abbie looks confused, "Kim is having lunch with Alex today. They are going to hash things out."

"Oh no, that is why neither told me. I hope I don't go home to find a homicide. Why did those two think this was a good idea without us there?" Casey says shaking her head.

Abbie laughs, "Maybe because they are two stubborn adults that don't need their girlfriends to babysit them."

Running her hands through her hair and tugging softly to release tension Casey shakes her head and smiles, "I am sure you are right. I just hope they act mature about things…for once."

* * *

Answering the door Alex invites Kim in for lunch. Giving the blonde a quick hug Kim says, "Thanks for letting me come over Alex. Oh by the way, Abbie says closing arguments start tomorrow and the jury should start deliberating by tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank the goodness, I am so over not being able to leave the apartment," Alex says with a not so serious smile.

Being led by Alex to the kitchen island for lunch Kim smiles seeing the food preparation taking place. Kim smiles and says, "Big plans for dinner?"

Alex nods, "Yes, I wanted to do something really nice for Casey tonight. She has done so many special things for me lately to help me heal I want to do something to show her how special she is to me. So I have dinner planned and then a special thing for after dinner."

"It's not sex is it?" Kim says with a frown.

"Geez, are my reviews that bad?" Alex questions with a chuckle.

Kim blushes regretting her unfiltered comment, "No, ugh I don't want to discuss your 'reviews'." She says with air quotes, "I am just worried that you two are ignoring problems with sex."

"Well, to ease your fears we agreed yesterday after our appointment that we aren't going to do that anymore. No this surprise involves me doing my 'Violet homework' of opening up about feelings and fears, but incorporates dancing which Casey loves. I hope it isn't a super fail, but I think it's cute and Casey-ish."

"Oh my God you two are so nauseating you have coined terms for each other."

"Casey has one for me?"

"Yes," Kim says shaking her head, "hers is Alex-like. 'Oh Kim, that is so Alex-like.'" Kim mimics.

"And you and Abbie aren't like that?" Alex says with a smirk.

"Nope we are awesome."

Both women laugh and sit down to eat. Alex looks at Kim, "So you want to talk about the real reason you came over?"

Kim purses her lips and nods yes, "Sunday night you were out of line, and I understand you are struggling and that you are now getting help, but that can never happen again you understand that right?"

"Yes, but what if it does and I can't control it? Are you going to make me leave Casey forever?" Alex asks swallowing thickly worried about the response she is going to get.

"No, not forever, but I will insist that you move out until you are 100 percent better. Casey loves you so much that I am afraid she might not make the right decision for herself mentally because she will let her love for you cloud her better judgment. Sometimes best friends have to step in and help the ones they love. That's what I will do if something like that happens again Alex. Although, I won't go to Casey I will come to you and remind you of this conversation and I will expect you to leave for her safety and your relationship. Okay?"

Alex smiles and nods, "As hard as it would be to leave I will in that case. I promise."

Kim smiles, "Good, then we are fine. I am really glad you are working on yourself Alex. I hope you get better real soon. From what I hear from Casey you seem to be doing better minus Sunday's bump in the road."

"We are and on that note I need to talk with you about something."

Kim's eyes go wide as Alex sets the ring box on the counter. Opening the box Kim says, "Oh my God, you got her the ring of her dreams! She is going to flip out!" Suddenly getting serious she frowns, "You are not proposing right now are you?"

Alex smiles at Kim's concern, "Absolutely not, I completely plan to wait until I talk to Violet about it and Violet says it's okay to propose. I don't want to rush anything, I am only telling you because I have a plan as to how I want to propose and it is going to require some planning and lots of help on your part."

Kim looks nervous, "Okay…"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Ok, this is an unusual chapter. I wrote it using songs to correspond with Alex's feelings for Casey. It's her surprise. Anyway, I hope it makes sense. It's something cheesy that I would so do. In case you want to listen to the songs as you read so it makes more sense they are in order – There She Goes by The La's, I'm In Love With a Girl by Big Star, Let's Be Still by The Head and the Heart, Sleep by Azure Ray, Alright by Pilot Speed, I'm Kissing You by Des'ree, Atlas Hands by Benjamin Francis Leftwich, and These Are the Days by Van Morrison. Btw, I woke up early to knock out my grad school homework before work next week and guess what, no homework due so you all get to enjoy more from me!**

Alex checks her hair and make-up once more in the mirror. She expects Casey home any minute and she wants everything to be perfect. Dressed in her black halter jumpsuit and favorite flats for dancing purposes she is feeling really pretty for her gorgeous girlfriend which only makes her more excited. Working all day on dinner and her surprise will be completely worth it when she sees Casey's face. Earlier she was nervous about her surprise, but she is certain Casey will love it now and looking over the finished product.

Hearing Casey's key in the door causes a huge smile to fall across Alex's face. She rushes to the door grabbing the glass of wine she left for Casey off the hall table. Acting casual she says, "Welcome home babe."

Casey's eyes go wide seeing Alex, she looks so happy and beautiful, "Wow baby, you look gorgeous."

Handing Casey the glass of wine and taking her briefcase from her she presses a quick kiss to her lips, "Thank you. Dinner is almost ready so if you'd like to get out of your work clothes feel free or you are welcome to join me in the kitchen."

"Aw, babe you made me dinner, thank you. Seeing as gorgeous as you look I feel like I should go get cleaned up too." Casey says walking down the hallway. Pausing just before the bedroom door, Casey see's that the living room has been decorated with star lights strung across the ceiling. Alex has clearly been working on something all day and Casey is excited to see what is in store for the rest of the evening.

After dinner Alex takes Casey's hand and leads her to the living room. "So I really thought about my 'Violet homework' today. I planned tonight because I wanted to show you just how much I love you and just how much you mean to me. It's important to me that you know how not being with you made me feel, along with how being reunited with you has affected me. Since I wasn't able to find all the right words to express all of these thoughts and emotions I found a way, I think, to show you that will hopefully convey the message perfectly. This is really hard for me Casey, so I picked a way where hopefully I can open up in a romantic way and show you just how you exactly affect me and what being with you and not being with you does to me."

Casey is speechless she literally doesn't know what to say to Alex at this moment. Hearing Alex tell her about the surprise Casey sees a degree of vulnerability in her girlfriend that she has never seen before and it robs her of her words. Watching Alex turn off the lights and turn the star lights on it gives a night sky effect throughout the room. Alex smiles at Casey and walks over to her.

"I am going to turn on some music. Every song I picked relates to how I felt when I first met you, when I fell in love with you, when I had to leave you and how I felt while away from you, then how being back with you has made me feel. You know all but one of these songs well enough to sing them in the shower, so I will add commentary to all but the one you don't know while we dance. Okay?"

Casey smiles at Alex. She is already so in love with this idea. Lightly kissing Alex she replies, "Okay."

Pulling the MP3 player remote from her pocket Alex says, "This first song is how I felt about you from the moment I tackled you outside of Petrovsky's office." She hits play and the song There She Goes by The La's starts to play. Taking Casey in her arms they begin to dance.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were constantly running through my head. It's why I showed up at your office door that same day to take you for coffee and then asked you to grab dinner with me that night, and called you the next morning to see if you wanted to go for breakfast."

Casey laughs as Alex spins her. The smile across Casey's face as they twirled and danced around the room made Alex feel like all her hard work was worth it. Pulling Casey close Alex said, "And you are still always on my mind," As she spins Casey again earning a squeal of delight from her beautiful girlfriend.

As the song changed to I'm In Love with a Girl by Big Star Alex looked into Casey's green eyes as they slowly danced flush to each other. Softly Alex said, "I never really knew what being in love was until I fell in love with you Casey. I am so in love with you and everyday my love grows deeper." Holding Casey tight she danced her around the room. As the song neared its ending Alex sang the last line to the redhead, "I'm in love with a girl the finest girl in the world I didn't know this could happen to me."

When the song ended Casey whispered in Alex's ear, "I love you."

The next song to play was Let's Be Still by The Head and the Heart. Casey smiled at Alex, it was one of her favorite songs and Alex knew it. Alex looked deep into Casey's eyes and said, "All we wanted before I left was just to enjoy being together for a little while and every time I hear this song I think about how crazy new in love we were then and how much this seems like us."

"Plus, you can get lost in music for hours," Alex laughs spinning Casey then pulling her back into her body and holding her tight. Looking into Casey's green eyes again she says, "Just for one moment let's be still." Then she leans forward and kisses Casey softly before pulling away and spinning the laughing redhead again.

Pulling her close again Alex whispers the lyrics into Casey's ear, "The world's just spinning a little too fast, if things don't slow down soon we might not last. The world's not forgiving of everyone's fears. The days turn into months the months turn into years. So just for a moment, let's be still."

The song changes to another one of Casey's favorites, Sleep by Azure Ray. She smiles at Alex knowing this is when Alex is supposed to be gone. Sliding her hand behind Alex's head she pulls them so close their foreheads are touching. Taking a breath she says, "I understand you don't have to explain."

Casey starts to sing the lyrics to Alex, "I can't sleep, I can't speak to you, I can't sleep."

Softly crying, Alex whispers, "I couldn't sleep without you. Everything felt so empty, my bed, my home, and especially my heart. I needed you so bad to be able to continue living. Not having you caused me to shut down emotionally."

Casey looks into Alex's eyes and sings the last lines of the song, "I can't sleep, I can't speak to you."

Alex regains some composure, "I love you Casey." She kisses her lightly, "This next song you don't know I found it while I was away. It explains my feelings while I was away from you perfectly. The song is Alright by Pilot Speed."

The song begins to play and as Casey listens to it Alex pulls her close and lays her head on her shoulder as they sway and listen to the words.

_And tonight I lack the strength to even move  
When you walked, now watch me die  
But I know this is harder for you  
For love has let you down and come on  
And no, you're not alone_

_And the road ahead is lined with broken dreams  
So walk, yeah, walk on by  
And I failed to give you everything you need  
For the fear's behind your eyes_

_When I can't feel you  
I'm not alright, not alright  
When I can't heal you  
I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright_

_When I can't feel you  
I'm not alright, I'm not alright_

_Yes, Jesus as you throw me on the rocks  
And for love I left your side  
'Cause I believed in love and beauty's wiles  
Where heaven shone from your eyes_

_Chain me to your tree, I wanted you to see  
I wanted you to see, I wanted to believe  
You chain me to your tree, I wanted you to see  
I wanted you to see_

_So tell me that it wasn't all for naught  
It's such a waste now, it's such a waste now come on  
'Cause I know you're scared but baby don't you hide  
It's such a waste, you'll stand alone now, you'll make it somehow._

By the end of the song both Alex and Casey are crying and wiping away each other tears. Alex finally speaks, "That is how I truly felt." Casey nods unable to say anything without fully breaking down.

The song changes to Kissing You by Des'ree. Alex smiles and whispers into Casey's ear, "And this is how I felt when I came home and woke up to you in our bed with me." As she finished she captured Casey's lips in her own. Breaking the kiss Alex kissed down Casey's jaw to her ear and whispered, "And I hope to kiss you every day for the rest of our lives." Then she spins Casey and pulls her back into her arms again resting her forehead to Casey's again. Holding each other close they dance around the room to the soft romantic song. Exchanging sweet kisses here and there knowing that they loved each other through their separation and were able to come back to each other and still love one another was an amazing feeling.

The next song to play was Atlas Hands by Benjamin Francis Leftwich. Casey smiles big and looks into Alex's beautiful blue eyes. Alex smiles back and says, "This song reminds me of the starry night boat ride from this past weekend, and let us not forget our drive home because you sang along to it every time it played in the car."

Casey beams and laughs, "Alex, this song gave me that idea!"

"It did?"

"Yes," Casey replies kissing Alex again with a smile on her face. The redhead began to sing along to the song which caused a big smile to appear on Alex's face as she spun Casey and pull her close dancing and laughing together.

As the song changes to Casey's all-time favorite love song These Are the Days by Van Morrison Casey smiles sweetly and Alex whispers again, "And this song is what I hear in my head when I hold you every night and I think about our past present and future. It's the song I intend to dance with you to at our wedding."

Casey wraps her arms around Alex's neck and lays her head against the blondes shoulder, "I love you now and forever."

"I love you too Casey forever and always." Alex says holding her lover tight never wanting this moment to end. Despite everything they had endured over the last year and a half one thing was for sure their love was stronger now than ever before and it would last forever. As the song ended Alex kissed Casey and whispered again, "That is everything I have felt and feel. I hope it gives you a deeper look into my soul because it is yours for eternity."

Casey begins to softly cry as she nods and says, "Yes."

"Why are you crying?" Alex asks concern in her voice.

"I don't know, because I love you so much and I am so happy."

"Oh," Alex says smiling. She picks Casey up and the redhead squeals not expecting it. As Alex sits down on the couch with Casey she asks, "So did you like my surprise?"

Casey smiles, "Yes, very much so. I think that was an amazing way to tell me everything you wanted to say."

"Good, I am glad you liked it. By the way, these lights might be up even after we one day move." Alex says pointing to the star lights.

Casey laughs, "Let me guess, nails?"

"Yes."

Casey just laughs again as she leans forward and kisses Alex again. Pulling back just enough to speak Casey says, "That's okay, I kind of like kissing you beneath the stars."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I really like this chapter and I hope you all do too!**

Friday morning found Alex and Casey in a new state of peace. After sharing a calm romantic Thursday at home laughing, sharing dreams of the future, and love making they felt closer than imaginable. Alex felt confident in her body again something she wouldn't have said a week ago which made her really excited for their family getaway. Just a couple of days ago she was nervous about the possibility of a breakdown happening while there, but 'Violet's homework' seemed to really help her understand her feelings which put that fear to rest. Now she just felt nervous about talking with Casey's parents about proposing. She had no idea how the conversation would go or what she would say, but she was sure the words would find her at the right time.

Once Alex and Casey had enjoyed breakfast and of course 'Casey's Power Brew' they started getting dressed and packed for the beach. Casey walked out of the bathroom having just finished packing her makeup and other toiletries. She froze at the sight of Alex packing her bag. The blonde had a big grin on her face and seemed so relaxed. Ever since the night of Alex's surprise her girlfriend seemed at even more ease. Casey actually felt like Alex was better.

Alex looks up and sees Casey staring at her she smiles at the redhead. "Are you about finished packing beautiful?" Alex asks.

Casey crosses the room and wraps her arms around the blonde's waist pulling her close and looking her into the eyes. Slowly she leans forward and kisses her lips. As she pulls away she says, "I had to do that, you looked so beautiful. To answer your question, yes I am ready to go."

Alex leans in and kisses her girlfriend back. Breaking the kiss she says, "You can kiss me anytime as long as I can kiss you anytime." Both women smiling grabbed their bags and walked out of the room.

* * *

An hour later, Alex and Casey were headed towards the beach house. Alex had tried to convince her mom to ride with them but she insisted that it was better that Alex and Casey enjoy the day alone and she would meet them that evening when Casey's parents and sister, Morgan, arrived. At the time, Alex thought her mom was being ridiculous but now laughing and talking with Casey as the made their way she was thankful for the time.

"You know Alex I think this is the first time I have ever seen you drive out of New York and not use the car horn as a weapon against every other car on the road." Casey said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Alex smiled, "Those Wisconsiner's broke me of my awesome driving skills. They frown upon any kind of noise."

Casey bursts out laughing which in turn makes Alex laugh. Regaining control Casey says, "Well, I thank them. It makes you driving such a nicer experience. The whole life flashing before my eyes every block thing was not appealing."

Alex smirks, "Well I am glad that my old lady driving can be at your service then!"

Casey's phone rings breaking up the comfortable banter between the women. Looking at the device she sees its Abbie. "Alex its Abbie," she says turning off the radio while answering the phone on the cars bluetooth, "Hello"

"Hey Case, it's Abbs." Abbie's voice fills the car.

"What's the news?" Casey asks wondering why her friend didn't blurt the verdict.

"Verdict is in Connors was found guilty on all charges!" Abbie exclaims.

Casey and Alex both shriek in excitement. Alex finishes with, "Way to go Abbie. Nice job with the case."

"Thank you Alex, but it was a slam dunk from the start and your testimony just sealed the deal. Anyway, I got to run. Y'all have fun at the beach this weekend, when you get back Kim and I would love to go to dinner." Abbie finishes.

"Sounds good, talk to you later," Casey says ending the call.

Casey looks over at Alex, "You okay."

Alex smiles, "Yeah I am, I just didn't expect to feel different when I heard the verdict, but I do. I feel a little lighter than before it makes me wonder if this is how the victims I defended felt."

"I like to believe so, it makes my job so much easier and makes me more determined." Casey says with an easy smile.

Even though, Alex couldn't sit and examine Casey the little look she got of her said volumes. It also made Alex know that she needed to talk to Casey later about returning to work.

* * *

Not to long later the two women pulled into the drive of the beach house. Unpacking the car, Casey decided they should take the upstairs room since it offered more privacy versus the three downstairs ones. Her reasoning was if Alex needed to get away from the crowd she could have some peace, but Alex didn't believe that her intentions were necessarily so pure.

Once they finished, Alex sat at the kitchen table making a shopping list for dinner and other supplies they would need while Casey opened a beer. Watching Alex Casey smiled. She really looked so at ease with life right now and Casey couldn't figure out if it was the medicine or 'Violet homework' or both.

"Why are you staring at me Casey?" Alex said with a smirk.

"Because you look so at peace, it's a good look for you." Casey replies.

Alex hums thinking the redheads statement over. Taking a breath she turned in her chair to face her girlfriend. "You know I am. I can't figure out if it's the medicine or therapy or just sharing all my feelings with you daily, but whatever it is I am feeling so much like 'old' Alex that it is super refreshing."

"Well I am glad to hear it baby. I do have to say though you seem even more at peace than 'old' Alex was, not that I don't enjoy it and find it wonderful, I just noticed."

Standing Alex walks to the fridge and grabs a beer herself. Turning back to Casey she leans her against the counter and kisses her tasting the beer on her lips in the process. Alex rests her forehead against Casey's as she whispers, "Take a walk with me Casey, I want to talk to you about that."

Casey looks into Alex's blue eyes and seeing nothing but love she lets her worry subside, "Okay, let's go."

Walking out onto the beach, Alex takes Casey's hand and entwined their fingers. Looking at her beautiful girlfriend and how the sunlight reflects beautifully off her red hair she feels so at peace. Taking a breath Alex begins, "Casey, you know how I told you last night that I thought you were doing an amazing job in SVU and how my 'Violet homework' confession was that I thought I let it get to me to much which is why I think I got too cocky in the Zapata case?"

"Yes why?" Casey asks truly confused.

"I..." Alex bites her lip and then blurts, "I don't think I want to go back, at least not for a while."

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you say those words, but Alex I will support you in whatever you want to do." Casey answers as she stops to look into the blonde's eyes. "You know that right?"

Alex lets out a sigh of relief, "Yes, but I was still worried. I am just scared Casey. I know SVU wasn't a good fit now looking back. I mean I was good maybe even great at what I did, but I let it get into my head to much. I obsessed about the win which was great for conviction rates, but every loss hit me on such a personal level that I couldn't take pleasure in the wins."

"Why didn't you say anything about it to me back then?" Casey asks genuinely concerned.

"Casey, I didn't realize it was a problem, or unhealthy. That was the main issue. To be honest had it not been for you taking it over and being so honest and open with me about your feelings working in SVU I don't know if I ever would have realized. Plus to be really honest, I think I am too afraid of getting hurt again to be able to go back and be an effective prosecutor."

"Do you know what you want to do?" Casey asks.

"You are going to think I am crazy and throwing away my career if I tell you."

Casey leans in and presses her head to Alex's, "First off, I would never think you are crazy Alexandra. Second, like I already said if you don't want to go back into law I will support you. After all, I am in love with Alexandra Cabot the person not Alexandra Cabot Assistant District Attorney."

Smiling Alex says, "Okay, I want to teach horseback riding. I have always loved riding and you know I competed a lot before law school. I always loved it and well that's what I want to do right now."

Casey laughs a little, "Alex I think that's a fantastic idea. You taught me and I thought you did a great job teaching me. Wow, your whole intro made me think you were going to say something absurd." As she finishes she kisses Alex softly before saying, "Okay, so that was your 'Violet homework,' want to know mine?"

"Yes!"

"Okay mine is while you were away I would never come here. Your Mom would invite me and I always turned down the invite. I actually never wanted to go to the beach again." Casey pauses to regain control.

"Why?" Alex asks concern showing in her eyes.

"Well, because my favorite memory of you of us happened right here. It was your family annual beach trip and you brought me because you wanted me to meet everyone. We stood right over there and we were wrapped in each other's arms and I made a said something funny and you threw back your head laughing. You were so beautiful your laugh was so beautiful all I could do was smile."

"And my Uncle Bill took the picture. It's the one we have framed on the kitchen counter and you put at the end of the slide show," Alex said smiling.

"So I couldn't come back knowing I would never be able to hold you again or hear your laugh. It was too painful." Casey finishes.

Alex kisses Casey and pulling away says, "You will never have to worry about that again."

"I know and for that I am forever thankful."

"Want to know what you said to make me laugh like that," Alex started.

"Yes, I haven't been able to remember." Casey answers with a raised eyebrow.

"You had just whispered in my ear that you thought you ate too many oysters because you were so horny you felt like you could take me right there on the beach around everyone."

"Oh my God, no wonder I blocked it out! I must have been drunk!" Casey exclaims laughing.

Alex watched as the redhead laughed feeling her heart filling even more with love. She knew that they were meant to be together forever. As Casey stopped laughing Alex pulled her into a passion filled kiss and whispered in her ear, "Let's go inside."

* * *

Charlotte arrived at the beach house a little after 5:30. Entering the house she found her daughter and Casey laughing while cooking dinner. "What's for dinner girls?" She asked smiling at how happy the two appeared.

"We are making a shrimp pasta with smoked salmon dip for an appetizer," Casey said with a grin at Alex.

"Which if I may add tastes delicious when I kiss it off my girlfriend." Alex adds with a laugh as Casey swats her.

Charlotte shakes her head, "Alexandra, try to keep it clean when James and Caroline get here please."

"Don't worry Mom," Alex says giving her mother a pointed look before adding, "Now how about I help you get your luggage." Alex walks towards the door, opening it she sees another set of headlights coming down the drive. "Hey babe, it looks like your parents and Morgan are here."

Casey's face lights up. It had been a couple of months since she had seen her family. Running outside, she meets them as they park and immediately hugs her father and mother as Alex walks up to be reunited with her girlfriend's family.

Alex looks over the family. Casey clearly got her looks from her mother, red hair green eyes snow white skin, whereas her sister Morgan took their fathers coloring of brown hair and blue eyes. Alex smiled to herself wondering what their children would look like if Casey had them.

Coming back to the present Alex says, "James, Caroline it's good to finally see you again," as she goes to give them a hug and turns to Casey's sister Morgan, "you to Morgan."

James Novak speaks for the threesome, "It's good to see you too Alex. Thank you for coming home, it's good to see Casey smiling and happy again. She clearly needed you back."

"I needed her just as much," Alex says wrapping an arm around Casey and kissing her cheek.

Morgan groans, "Oh, I am starting to remember how PDA inclined you two are, I clearly blocked those memories."

"You're just jealous," Casey says playfully nudging her sister's shoulder.

"Oh Casey," Caroline Novak says, "Morgan hasn't told you has she?"

Casey looks at her 24 year old sister, "What has Morgan not told me?"

"Geez, you two talk about me like I am not even here! Mom is trying to tell you that I met a guy and we are dating now." Morgan says rolling her eyes.

"Is it serious?" Casey asks excitement showing in her voice.

"Ah, we will see he is nice, but we aren't to the bring home for Christmas dinner phase or anything." The brunette replies with a shrug.

Alex smiles, "Well good for you Morgan. If you are happy we are happy for you."

"See, why you all can't give normal responses like Alex I don't know." Morgan says waving towards her family. "God I missed your normalcy," she adds hugging Alex.

The group unpacks the cars and sits down to a nice family dinner. Conversation flowed easily between them all and the table was filled with laughter. Alex kept looking at Casey as they enjoyed dinner. She loved seeing her girlfriend beaming with happiness. Even though she knew they would have arguments and bumps in the road along the way she was so excited about their future. Honestly, never in her life had she ever been so happy.

James took a sip of his wine and looked at Alex, "So Alex, now that the trial is over when do you think you will be going back to work?"

Casey's eyes go wide at her father's statement, "Uh, Dad I think it might be a little soon to be asking such questions."

"It's okay Casey, I don't have anything to hide," Alex says taking her girlfriends hand and giving a reassuring smile, "Actually, James I am not planning on going back to the DA's office right now."

Charlotte chimes in at this point, "So what will you do dear?"

"I think I am going to see about teaching horseback riding lessons." Alex says confidently.

"Wow, that's a step down." Morgan adds.

Casey scowls, "Morgan shut up!"

Caroline sticks Casey's arm with the tip of her fork, "Casey Diane do not speak like that to your sister."

"Well teach her to have some manners." Casey replies with a huff.

Charlotte chimes back in, "Alexandra you cannot be serious it would be career suicide."

James nods, "I agree Alex. The best thing would be to get back to work as soon as possible."

Casey is starting to panic. She keeps trying to play defense but is clearly outnumbered. Looking over at Alex she suddenly laughs. Alex is sitting still at the table, just taking in everyone's now roaring inputs to her life decisions, but she doesn't look fazed. She actually has her 'I am so not impressed with your story' lawyer face on. However, Casey's laughing quickly quiets the table and Alex looks her way with a smile.

Caroline looks incredulously at her daughter, "Casey what are you laughing at?"

Ignoring her mother, Casey speaks to Alex, "You aren't bothered?"

"They are only giving their opinions, but I don't care about theirs. Your opinion is the only one I care about and you already said you support me. Now if they have changed your mind tell me and we can talk about other ideas." Alex says calmly while the whole table sits wide-eyed as the blonde and redhead ignore them as if they are the only two people in the room.

Casey shakes her head no, "They can't change my mind Alex. I only want you to do what will make you happy right now. Your happiness is what is important to me at this moment. I love you."

Smiling at her amazing girlfriend Alex says, "I love you too. You want to get out of here?"

"Yes." Casey says standing and taking Alex's hand.

As they walk out of the room and out to the beach they can hear the room erupt in conversation about what just happened. However, the two lovers could care less. All that mattered at this moment was their happiness and they were not going to let anyone stand in their way.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I had a little fun at the end. Enjoy!**

After the chaos at dinner Alex and Casey walked the beach for almost an hour. They were surprisingly at ease despite their family's disapproval of Alex's new job choice. Casey assumed it was because they were just happy being themselves and being with each other and she was good with that. Instead of worrying, they talked about their plans for the rest of the weekend and ideas for things they could do the following week.

As they headed back up to the house they could see their parents sitting outside on the porch. Alex decided this was the perfect time to talk to Casey's parents. "Hey Casey," Alex started, "When we get up to the house do you mind going inside and letting me talk to my mom and your parents."

"Are you sure you want to talk to them alone?" Casey asked. She was sure Alex could handle it, but she still felt a need to be protective of her.

Alex smiled and kissed Casey's cheek, "I am positive. I need to do this babe. I just need to reassure them everything will be ok."

"I can understand them being concerned about you career wise, but it's not like we are not financially okay. I think everyone will get over it. Just if you need me please don't hesitate to get me." Casey says to Alex as they approach the stairs to the porch deck.

"I promise I will." Alex assures placing a chaste kiss to Casey's lips.

Heading up onto the deck Casey goes right inside leaving Alex with the parents. Alex takes a seat next to her mom and looks over to James and Caroline. "I would like to talk to you about a couple of things. First being my job idea."

James looked at Caroline and then back to Alex and says, "Alright."

Alex takes a breath, "I loved practicing law and being a prosecutor. I was passionate about it, but I also was so passionate about it that I couldn't make the right decisions, I let my want to win cloud my judgment and in my profession that is reckless and it almost cost me my life. I was lucky they only went after me, they could have easily have gone after my mother or Casey as well. That thought alone makes me sick. It makes me sick to think that I could have literally lost the most important people in my life."

She looks over to her mother and taking her hand says, "I am so sorry. I am sorry that my inability to think clearly in my profession cost me a year and a half of my life and put the people I love at risk. It was reckless, and I have been paying for those mistakes in more ways than one. Right now I am seeing a therapist and working to express my feelings in a healthy way. Even though, I am a beginner in this therapy what I have been working on has been helping me immensely, and Casey has been so supportive. Her love has been helping to make huge strides in finding myself. One of those discoveries is that I frankly am too scared to go back to prosecuting right now. I have always loved horseback riding, I use to compete in it and I have skill. I can easily teach it. It would purely be a job for fun, it's not like I need an income to support myself or support Casey. I am capable of that jobless. So I really hope you all are more concerned about me ruining my career and if that's the case I really hope you can understand that I am not coming to this decision lightly. I am coming to this decision because I need to do what is emotionally healthy for me right now, because that is the only way I can be emotionally healthy for Casey and I can't lose her. She is the most important thing in my life and without her I can't exist. If there is anything I learned over the last year and a half it is that. So can you all support my decision?"

James Novak listened to his daughter's girlfriend and nods, "Yes, I can support that. I may not agree on all points, but I can support you."

Caroline smiles, "So can I honey, I hope we didn't upset you earlier."

"I am okay, thank you both," Alex turns to her mother, "Mom?"

Charlotte leans over and hugs her daughter, "Sweetie if that is how you feel and that is what makes you happy then I support you fully and I know your father would have too."

"Thank you so much Mom. I love you." Alex says, "Now, on to my second part. I have talked to my mother about this already and I need to talk to you now. I want to ask Casey to marry me."

James eyes go wide, "Oh, and you would like our permission?"

Alex looks him square in the eyes, "Yes sir, it is important for me to have you and Caroline's approval. I just want you both to know that I love Casey more than anything and I can take care of her and I would do anything to make her happy."

Caroline smiles, "Alex honey we know all of that and we know how much Casey loves you and how she'd do anything for you."

"You said you are in therapy. Are you emotionally well enough to make a clear decision about marriage?" James asks seriously.

"Well, I honestly bought the ring before I was shot and was planning this talk then. As for now in my life, I plan to talk to my therapist before I propose and I do not plan to propose until I get the all clear from her." Alex says in a steady tone.

James looks at Caroline and to Charlotte. Finally he speaks, "Then you have our blessing."

Alex looks at her mom, "Did you tell them?"

"No…" Charlotte says unconvincingly.

Caroline speaks up, "Do you have the ring? Your Mom says it's beautiful. I want to see it!"

"You told them!" Alex says laughing and shaking her head. She smiled thinking that she and Casey were going to have their hands filled with their parents teaming up. Life was really turning out amazing.

* * *

As Alex puts on her pajamas and starts getting ready for bed she tells Casey about the job part of the talk with their parents. Casey was happy to know that everything was fine. It let her relax and look forward to a peaceful family weekend. As Alex opens her face wash it sprays all over her. "What the hell!" she shrieks.

Casey climbs from the bed laughing and reaches into her bag and grabs a tank top. "Here baby you can wear this instead," Casey offers.

Alex quirks an eyebrow, "Is it clean?"

"Clean enough." Casey shrugs.

Alex shakes her head and smiles. Putting on the shirt she finishes getting ready for bed. She was starting to realize just how tired she was the day had really taken it out of her.

Casey watched as Alex walked out of the bathroom. Looking her girlfriend over, she was instantly turned on. Alex wasn't trying to look good, but she looked damn sexy in her sleep shorts and Casey's tank top. The added bonus was the room was cold enough for her breasts to perfectly accentuate themselves. Taking a deep breath Casey said, "Alex you look damn hot."

Laughing Alex said, "What on Earth do you mean? Seriously, I am in your dirty tank top."

"And you look fucking hot. Come here now." Casey said with a growl in her voice.

"Haven't you gotten enough of me the last two days?"

Casey laughs, "I could never have enough of you, now come here now."

Alex shakes her head, "No. Go take a cold shower, it's not happening."

"Why…" Casey whines.

Alex states firmly, "Your parents, my mom, and Morgan."

"I will be quiet," Casey replies.

"Not happening." Alex retorts.

Casey grins, "It's because you know you can't be quiet."

"That is not it at all. It's that I don't care to live through tomorrow's mortal embarrassment if we are overheard having sex."

"We could go to the car." Casey says wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh my God Casey, are you really that horny?"

"Yes, yes I am."

Alex kisses Casey's head, "Well I am sorry babe it is not going to happen."

"Ugh, fine." Casey sighs. Looking over at Alex, Casey gets an idea one she knows that will make Alex cave. She slips her hand into her pajama bottoms and starts to touch herself, letting out a little gasp as her fingers make contact with her throbbing center.

Alex looks over at Casey and her jaw drops. She wants to look away or stick to her guns, but watching Casey pleasure herself is so hot. "Casey…" is all Alex can get herself to say becoming equally as turned on.

Casey is starting to breathe slightly erratically, but manages to answer "Yeah."

"Do you need help?" Alex asks as she moves over and starts to pull off Casey's pajama pants. Casey doesn't answer, she just removes her hand and let's Alex move to her hot center. Alex runs her finger through Casey's wet folds. "You are so wet," Alex whispers sliding one then two fingers into Casey.

Casey arches her back at the sensation. She wants to let out a moan, but she promised to stay quiet so instead she bites her lip. Opening her eyes she sees Alex leaning over her looking right back as she continues to thrust into Casey. Casey reaches up and runs her hands down Alex's body. Reaching Alex's sleep shorts she slips her hand in and slides her fingers to Alex's clit and begins to rub it as she watches her facial expressions change. Alex tries to whisper, "Oh Casey yes" but it comes out louder than intended.

Casey puts a finger to Alex's mouth to silence her. She shakes her head no to remind Alex they have to be quiet. As Alex nods in understanding she starts to bite her own lip to keep quiet as Casey slips two fingers into Alex and starts to thrust in and out. Both of their breathing becomes ragged as they approach their climaxes. Looking into Alex's eyes Casey starts to come, her body shaking as her orgasm washes over her. Watching Casey come undone helps Alex reach hers but as she starts to come she starts to cry out, Casey quickly puts her free hand over Alex's mouth to quiet her. As Alex comes down from her high Casey kisses her and says, "That was amazing."

Alex grins, "You are in so much trouble for that you better hope no one heard us."

Casey smiles and replies, "If anyone says anything you can blame it on me just say I was masturbating or something."

Alex starts to laugh, "You are so awful."

Casey leans over and kisses Alex softly, "I know bad joke. Baby you weren't that loud I would be shocked if anyone heard you. We should get some sleep."

Alex yawns, "Yeah we should. I love you Casey."

As Casey turns out the light she snuggles into Alex and whispers, "I love you too Alex."

**Ok, I had to! Alex in a tank top and sleep short...hot. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I really loved this chapter. It's fun and kinda sweet.**

The next morning Alex woke up with the sunrise wrapped in Casey's warm embrace. Pushing a strand of red hair out of her lovers face she smiled. Casey always looked so peaceful sleeping. Kissing her cheek, Alex wiggled out of bed. Throwing on a pair of yoga pants and one of Casey's sweaters the blonde snuck out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen.

Making the now permanently coined 'Casey's Power Brew' coffee Alex found herself mesmerized by the sun rising up on the horizon. Her life seemed so perfect at this moment. What had she done to deserve such happiness when just a month ago she was so miserable?

Suddenly she was shaken from her thoughts by a pair of warm arms being wrapped around her waist as her lover laid her head against her shoulder. "I can't sleep when you aren't next to me," Casey whispered into Alex's ear.

"Well then," Alex said entwining her fingers with Casey's, "would you like me to go back and lay down with you?"

"As sweet as it is for you to offer I smell coffee and once I smell coffee I have to have some!"

Alex laughs as she watches Casey dramatically leap to the coffee pot. "You are such a goof!" She says with a smile.

"You love me anyway," Casey says with a chuckle as she pours two cups and makes sure to add enough cream and sugar to Alex's.

"Always and forever," Alex says as she gets comfortable on the loveseat. Casey walks over and hands Alex her cup as she sits down, "So what got you up so early?"

Shrugging Alex replies, "I am not sure. Nothing really, I just woke up."

"Still no nightmares?"

"No nightmares. I promise if I have one I will bore you with all the details," Alex says with a smile.

Sipping her coffee Casey nods. Soon Caroline and James Novak walk down the hall. James sits in a chair across from the two lovers as Caroline walks to the coffee pot.

"How are you this morning James?" Alex asks.

James frowns, "Good, although I might be a little happier if it wasn't 6 am. Why are you girls up so early anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep," Alex says. Casey chuckles and adds, "She couldn't sleep and I can't sleep without her. We are such a duo." As she finishes she pecks Alex on the lips.

Caroline walks over and passes James a cup of coffee. Taking a sip she frowns, "This coffee is so strong. It tastes like you made it James."

James smiles, "Tastes perfect to me."

Alex just laughs, "That would be the Casey Power Brew. Now I know who she gets her love of super strong coffee from!"

James smiles proudly at his daughter, "You got that right."

"Well I am going to need more sugar to stomach this Casey Brew." Caroline sighs standing to head back to the kitchen.

Casey corrects, "It's the Casey POWER Brew, get it right if you are going to criticize it!" She laughs as Alex pokes her in the ribs, "Ouch, I hate it when you do that baby." Casey pushes Alex back into the loveseat and gives her a light kiss before she playfull nips her chin eliciting a squeal from her causing James and Caroline to laugh.

Walking out of her room Morgan scowls, "Why must you all be so loud? Ugh, go figure it's you two acting all lovey dovey."

"Didn't get enough sleep Princess?" James asks looking his younger daughter over.

"No not nearly enough," the brunette huffs sitting on the couch.

"Hmm, drink some of the Casey Power Brew coffee and you will feel like the energizer bunny," Alex says with a grin laying back into the loveseat and putting her legs up on Casey's lap.

"Aw, honey it might be because you were up all hours talking to David on the phone." Caroline says retaking her seat.

Casey looks to Alex and grins. They both smile knowing that Morgan is more serious with her boyfriend than she is willing to admit just yet. "We weren't like that were we?" Casey asks Alex.

Alex laughs, "No, but I think that's because I got to second base with you before our first coffee thanks to that tackle in the hallway..."

"Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot you said you'd keep it clean this weekend," Charlotte jokes walking down the hallway.

"I love you too Mom." Alex says.

"Don't worry Char she has been on her best behavior," Caroline assures.

Without missing a beat Morgan adds, "Maybe if you don't count all the public displays of affection."

Alex leans to Casey's ear and whispers, "We are outnumbered. I like the idea of going back to bed now and hiding."

Casey playfully swats Alex shoulder as the two start laughing. Alex loves how easy their families have already blended into one big family. All they are missing is a wedding which hopefully will come sooner than later.

* * *

The rest of the weekend passes with ease and as the couple drives home Casey looks over to find Alex asleep leaning against the window. She is very proud at how well the blonde handled the entire weekend. The 'Violet homework' was really paying off and not just for Alex's recovery but for their relationship as well. Casey felt as if she knew the blonde better now than ever before and she really looked forward to spending the rest of their lives together.

Arriving back into the city, Casey found the traffic to be horrendous. It wasn't ever great, but today was especially well. Alex was still asleep and she was starting to think that waking her for light conversation might be worth it to ease the stress of the traffic.

Reaching over to gently shake Alex awake a car backfires and Alex's eyes shoot open with a look of horror in them. Alex looks like she can't breathe or doesn't realize she can breathe and Casey knows immediately that she is having a panic attack. Not knowing exactly what to do Casey puts her hand on Alex's face and says, "Alex baby it's me Casey. Alex I need you to take a breath it was a car, take a breath baby a car backfired that's all you are okay and so am I. We are okay Alex everything is fine we are almost home baby, it's okay breathe."

Alex suddenly sucks in a deep breath of air as if she is coming up from water. Filling her lungs with air she takes a couple of deep breaths. "Oh my God Casey, I was dreaming and suddenly I couldn't tell what was going on." She starts to cry, "I was so scared for a minute."

"You are okay baby." Casey soothes starting to drive with traffic, "do you want me to pull over to get your pills."

Alex shakes her head, "No I am good."

"Are you sure, I don't mind."

Alex looks at Casey and gives her a genuine smile, "Yes babe I am sure. It was just like my mind was gummed up or something. I don't know it was just weird. I mean I was dreaming and then I thought I heard a gunshot, but I couldn't figure out where or how. I honestly don't think I knew I was awake there for a second."

Casey thought about what Alex had said as she made her way through traffic. "I thought you were having a panic attack," she finally says. Alex takes a breath, "I might have been. It was weird I don't really know what that was exactly. It scared me, but I came out of it and I feel fine now. I think it's worth mentioning to Violet tomorrow."

"That would probably be a good idea." Casey adds turning to start their way to the apartment, "What were you dreaming about?"

Alex smiles, "You and me. We were playing in the park with a child that I assume was ours."

The redhead smiles widely at the idea, "Why do you assume it was our child?"

"She had your red hair. We were laughing and enjoying each other and her. It was amazing, then I heard this bang and woke up and I couldn't figure out what happened and where I was because it felt so real. I was stunned awake." Still smiling Alex takes a breath, "She was beautiful and looked just like you."

Pulling into the garage of the apartment complex Casey replies, "Then I hope she turns out to be real one day."

* * *

The next afternoon Alex sat in Violet Turner's waiting room. Her therapist was running about five minutes behind which was allowing Alex plenty of time to think about all the things she wanted to discuss with her before Casey arrived. She wanted to cover her progress, and the possible panic attack from the day before, but what she really wanted to talk with her about asking Casey to marry her.

The only thing standing in her way now was Violet running behind because Casey was expected to join them halfway through and at this rate they would run out of time. Alex toyed with the possibility of starting with the proposal idea, but didn't want to push the important therapy stuff to the back burner. She knew for everything to work between her and Casey she had to get well.

A minute later Violet opens her door and invites Alex in making sure to apologize for the delay. Motioning for Alex to take a seat and sitting herself, Violet looks Alex over. She can tell the blonde seems so much more at peace than a week ago and she finds the stark change rather surprising. "Alex, how are you doing?" Violet asks.

"Honestly Violet, I feel better than normal that is normal being before the shooting." Alex answers.

"Why is that? What makes you feel better than before?" Violet questions.

"Well, before I wasn't as open as I am now. I also was stressed out a lot with work. But now Casey and I talk openly about everything not to say we didn't before the shooting it's just now, we literally tell each other everything. We talk about everything our past, present and future and our feelings in general." Alex smiles obviously thinking about their talks. Taking a breath she continues, "Also, I am not working and I have had a lot of time to think about work. Personally, I discovered I was reckless when I was working and that was really dangerous in my field and I paid for that recklessness which scares me. I am scared to return. So, I have decided to take some time away from prosecuting which I have discussed in length with Casey and our families."

"Wow, okay, it seems like you have made a lot of progress. What do you think you will do instead of prosecuting?"

"I am planning on teaching horseback riding. I used to ride competitively so I called the stables I trained at in high school and college, and they are willing to take me on as a teacher whenever I am ready."

"Thanks wonderful Alex. You really have made a lot of progress. So have you had any flashbacks, nightmares, outbursts, or breakdowns?" Violet asks.

Alex shakes her head, "No to all, but something weird happened yesterday on our car ride home."

"What was that?"

"I fell asleep and was dreaming a happy dream about Casey and myself and a future child of ours when a car backfired waking me up suddenly. Casey thought I was having a panic attack, but I am not sure. Casey said I woke up looking scared and not breathing, I on the other hand I think I was just startled awake and couldn't place where I was or what was going on. I was really disoriented because the dream seemed so real."

Violet nods, "How long did it take for you to settle?"

Alex bites her lip thinking, "A minute maybe less…"

"Did you have to take the pills to help keep calm?"

Alex shakes her head, "No, once I got my bearing at the end of maybe a minute, I was fine."

"Well, I am not 100 percent sure since I wasn't there, but to me it doesn't sound like a full blown panic attack. I think you have really made a lot of progress and that probably helped it not be a full blown attack. So keep up the good work."

"Violet, before Casey gets here I want to talk to you about something." Alex nervously asks.

"Okay, what is it?"

"I want to ask Casey to marry me. I bought a ring before I was shot and I had been planning to ask her, then well I got shot and put into witness protection. As we know I am back, and I want to ask her still, but I don't want to do anything, if you don't think I am emotionally ready. So basically I am asking you to tell me when you think I am ready. I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize my relationship with her." Alex finishes and looks to Violet with a smile.

Violet smiles, "I will tell you when I know you are both ready, I promise. I am really proud of you Alex for working so hard on yourself. It is really paying off and in an immensely short amount of time."

Alex smiles and says, "Thank you." Just then Casey knocks on the door and asks if it is ok to enter. Walking into the room, Casey smiles brightly seeing Alex and how confident her blonde lover looks. Sitting down next to her she asks, "How is it going?"

Violet smiles, "I think Alex is making a lot of progress. I am really proud of how far she has come in such a short amount of time. We also talked about what happened in the car yesterday."

Casey leans in, "What do you think happened?"

"Well," Violet begins, "Like I told Alex, I am not 100 percent sure but I don't think it was full blown panic attack. I do think all of her progress helped it not be a full blown attack."

"Good, I am very happy to hear that," Casey says smiling at the blonde.

"So how are you two doing together," Violet asks.

Casey and Alex beam and Casey answers, "I think we are doing great. We had a wonderful weekend getaway with our families and we have been talking and planning a lot for our future together."

"I am very happy with where we are in our relationship. I love sharing every moment with Casey, she makes every moment better." Alex says smiling lovingly at the redhead.

Continuing to ask the couple questions Violet really takes the time to observe them. She watches as they answer looking at each other lovingly and how they sit next to each other hold hands with fingers entwined. They truly exude the word soul mates. They are meant to be together. Alex yes, is still going to need help going through her therapy, but the worst has passed and truthfully they need each other to heal fully. Together they are making giant leaps in progress. Violet smiles knowing that the couple truly is ready to get married.

As the session comes to a close and Violet is showing the couple out of the room she pulls Alex aside to make the next appointment. Setting the appointment Violet goes to hand Alex the reminder card. Smiling she says, "Alex, do you remember what we were talking about earlier?" Alex smiles and nods in confirmation. Violet smiles, and whispers, "You are ready."

**Next chapter is proposal planning! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Fun little chapter with a little surprise! Let me know what you think! Proposal will be in the next chapter.**

Thursday morning Casey woke up alone. Sitting up in bed she called out for her girlfriend but is met with silence. Climbing out of bed she heads towards the kitchen. Walking in she finds a fresh pot of coffee with a note placed next to her favorite coffee mug.

_Casey,_

_I am sorry I didn't wake you before leaving you just looked so sweet sleeping that I couldn't bear waking you. Do not worry about me I woke early and wanted to go for a run. I am really feeling like my old self again! Anyway, relax and enjoy the Casey Power Brew. I will bring pick up some bagels on my way home._

_I love you,_

_Alex_

Casey smiled brightly at the note. Pouring a cup of coffee she decided to take Alex's advice and relax. Turning on the news she laid back into the couch. Taking a sip of her coffee Casey wondered about her and Alex's relationship. She and the blonde had been talking a lot about their future, and their talks about marriage and children seemed to excite both of them.

Leaning over to the coffee table Casey picked up her iPad and opened the web browser. She typed in the web address for Tiffany's and started looking at engagement rings. Suddenly one catches her eye and she smiles wide. Erasing her web history, Casey stands and goes to get cleaned up and dressed. She is going to go buy Alexandra Cabot the most beautiful engagement ring ever.

* * *

Alex finishes her run and heads into the bakery. Looking around she sees her two friends waiting for her, smiling she waves and heads their way. "I hope you haven't been waiting long. I couldn't lie to Casey about my whereabouts so since I said I went for a run I actually felt compelled to go for a run." Alex says falling into a chair.

"You are really gross and sweaty Al." Kim states flatly.

Swallowing her bite of bagel Abbie's says, "Normally, I would stick up for you but my sweet Kim is right, you look gross."

"Thanks," Alex says with an eye roll, "I am a little out of shape. That whole hiding for your life and fearing public outings will do that to a person."

Everyone laughs. "Ok, so getting down to business. I bought everything and I have my team working on putting them together, which FYI Olivia, Elliot, and Fin demand that their bar tabs be paid for a month." Kim pauses to stop her new round of laugher, "Anyway, I do have to ask do you absolutely have to have 821 of them?"

"Yes!" Alex exclaims "That is the most important part!"

"Ok, I was just clarifying. Now on to another matter that you might not like, my parents are going to put the house on the market. They said you could use the house that day without worries about having to leave for a showing, but Saturday is the best showing day so you may have to leave if a realtor calls."

Alex's face calls. Seeing her best friend bothered by the news Abbie takes her hand. "Alex, I know you had your heart set on the weekend. Hey, you could always rent a house?"

"How much?" Alex asks.

Kim and Abbie both look confused and ask at the same time, "What?"

Alex grins, "How much? As in how much are they asking for the house?"

Kim's face still has a look of shock as she asks, "Are you saying you want to buy the house just so you can propose to Casey in it? That is ridiculous Alex."

"Aw, it's cute!" Abbie says with a mouthful of bagel promptly earning a dismissive look from her girlfriend.

"Listen Casey and I have talked about buying a house up there one day. But what makes me really want to buy the house is the same reason why I intend to propose there. We have always loved going up there and vacationing or getting away for the weekend. When I was so lost Casey took me up there and helped me rediscover myself. It was that whole weekend and all those past memories that made me realize that is where I needed to propose to her. I want the house I am so sure about it. So how much, I will pay asking price." Alex said with determination.

Kim chuckles a little and says, "Fine, I will call my parents and let them know. I am sure they will give you a little better price than asking. Now, how are we going to pull this off?"

Alex grins brightly, "Ok, so you are going to convince Casey to go to the lake with you on a girl's weekend with you. Stop along the way and kill some time, when you are doing that the rest of us will be getting ready. When you get to the house you will leave Casey to unpack while you get dinner and that is when the magic will unfold."

Abbie laughs, "Who knew Alex Cabot the Ice Queen would be such a romantic."

* * *

Arriving back at the apartment Alex finds an empty home. Going into the kitchen she discovers a note now left for her. She smiles shaking her head while reading it.

_Alex Baby,_

_I admit that I was doing some online window shopping while you were out. I found something I love that I can't live without. So I left to go buy it! I know I know impulse shopping is never a good idea but I promise this one will be amazing. Enjoy the bagels I shouldn't be gone too long. _

_I love you,_

_Casey_

Alex shakes her head again. Lord knows what her lover will come home with her online window shopping had a tendency to add very unique décor to their home. She just hoped this wasn't one of those times.

Heading towards the bedroom to take a shower, Alex spots the iPad on the couch next to Casey's favorite coffee cup. Normally she wouldn't check up on her girlfriend's internet search history but the last time Casey came home with one of her unique buys Alex couldn't fake her enthusiasm well enough and it made for a very bummed out Casey, so she figured this time wouldn't be so bad. She could practice her happy face while waiting for the shower to warm up. Opening the browser she becomes even more curious since Casey clearly wiped the history. What was Casey buying?

* * *

Walking out of Tiffany's Casey was now the proud owner of a gorgeous engagement ring for her gorgeous girlfriend. Now she just had to think of how she would propose. It needed to be super special, something Alex would never forget. Something at the beach or lake house would be perfect!

Now all Casey needed to do was buy something ridiculous and Alex would be happily convinced as to why she was out of the house. It will be the perfect rouse. Casey was so excited about proposing to Alex that it would be a miracle if she could wait long enough to make a plan nonetheless stick to it.

Seeing the first abstract art gallery Casey walks in and buys the most outlandish painting she can find for a decent price. Walking back to the car and loading everything up Casey headed home. Now she just had to find a place to hide the ring!

As she was pulling into the parking garage her phone rang blaring Kim's ringtone throughout the car. She shakes her head listening to 'You're so vain' blaring over the speakers in the car. It has been her designated ringtone for two years and Casey always says she's going to change it maybe one day. Answering the phone on speaker she said, "Hey Kim what's up?"

"Hey Case, I wanted to know if you would be up for a girls weekend, just you and me, this weekend?" Kim asks.

"Umm, it sounds tempting I just need to check with Alex first." Casey answers while thinking that the weekend would give her ample time to plan how to propose.

Kim quickly adds, "You don't have to worry about her, Abbie wants to do something special with her as well."

"Well I might be able to sell her then, but if she isn't up for it I am not going to push her." Casey says with a sigh.

"No worries, we wouldn't want Alex to do anything she isn't up for just yet. Ask her and let me know." Kim states.

Casey smiles even though Kim can't see it, "Thanks, I will text you later and let you know." Hanging up Casey heads up to the apartment. If she goes she will have to take the ring with her, she can't risk Alex finding it.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So here it is! Lexiecabot I added one part just for you! :)**

Excited didn't explain how Alexandra Cabot felt waking up Thursday morning. Ecstatic, overwhelmed, full of joy, nervous, elated all those words rolled into one then added to excited would be a better description. Internally laughing she thought to herself, 'Okay Mr. Webster, invent that word because that's how I feel today.'

She watched Casey sleep. The redhead always looked so beautiful when she slept. Everything about her was perfect and tomorrow night she hopefully would agree to marry Alex. Alex truly felt like the luckiest person in the world for finding Casey and most importantly because Casey Novak chose to love her.

Placing a soft kiss to her beautiful lover's lips Alex climbed out of bed and walked into the living room heading towards the kitchen. She grimaced as she passed the hideous piece of abstract art that Casey had to go buy yesterday. When Casey joyfully bounced into the apartment yesterday late morning with it in hand Alex almost had a heart attack but she feigned a poorly faked smile to try and appease her wonderful girlfriend. Of course, Casey saw right through it and said she would return it to the art gallery. Alex felt awful but at least it wouldn't be hanging anywhere in her line of sight. How Casey could like it she would never know.

As she started the coffee and headed back to the bedroom to wake Casey, Alex wondered what exactly she would say when she proposed. She had everything planned, but she still needed the perfect her speech. Granted she still had a little over twenty four hours to work that out, but she would like to have it sorted long enough to memorize it perfectly. Everything had to be perfect for this moment in their lives. Casey would always remember it and she wanted nothing but perfection for her love.

Walking back into the bedroom she crawled onto the bed and pulled Casey close. Running light kisses over the redheads shoulder and up to her jaw she heard Casey lightly chuckle, "Good morning to you too Baby. What has you in such a romantic mood this morning?"

"You…I am so in love with you and I can't stop thinking about you and our future. I love you Casey and I always will." Alex says as she starts to tear up.

Casey looks into her lovers blue eyes as she sees tears start to run lightly from them. Smiling she leans forward and captures Alex's lips in a light but passion filled kiss. Leaning to Alex's ear she whispers, "I will always love you too Alexandra. You never have to worry about that, I love you more than anything."

Recapturing her lips in another kiss their morning is spent loving one another. When they finally emerge from the bedroom ready for the day it is nearly noon. "So what should we do with the rest of our day," Alex's asks her beautiful redhead.

Casey hums tapping her finger to her chin while she thinks, "We could go buy you a car."

Alex's eyes go wide, "Why?"

"You are going to need one to get to work when we both return to work, so why not?"

"Okay," Alex starts, "what should we get?"

"An SUV, that way you will have no problem navigating to the barn and back and we can have more room when we travel." Casey replies confidently.

Alex smiles and says, "Okay let's go."

Later that evening the two lovers arrive home with a new Volvo XC90. Alex smiles at her girlfriend before they step out of the car. Casey catching Alex's look asks, "What's on your mind baby?"

"You, always you, but at this moment my exact thought was how much I love that you look out for me and take care of me. It really lets me know how much you love me. More so in the little ways you make me coffee, or take care of me when I am sick or down, or how you love to wake me with a kiss, all those things let me know just how much you love me Casey. I am truly the luckiest woman in the world because I have you." With that she kisses Casey.

"I love you so much Alex."

"I love you too Casey."

* * *

The next morning Alex begins to think Casey is never going to leave with Kim. She keeps stopping at the door and saying she left something behind as she runs back into the apartment, then gets 'distracted' telling Alex goodbye all over again. Alex smiles knowing that her girlfriend truly is just stalling because she doesn't want to leave her. Shaking her head she finally takes the redheads hands in hers and whispers, "Casey babe go. I will be okay and so will you. It won't be that long you will see me sooner than you think." She grins inwardly knowing that Casey has no idea what is going to happen this evening before continuing, "Go have fun with Kim, Abbie and I are going to just hang out here and maybe meet up at a bar tonight with Liv and Serena for drinks, nothing big so go have fun."

About to cry Casey looks at Alex fearing that she might not see her again and says, "Okay. I will go. Just know I love you so much." As she finishes she places a teary kiss to Alex's lips, as Alex breaks the kiss she says, "I love you too Case. I swear it won't be that long you'll be okay. I love you, now go!"

Casey walks out the door, turning in the threshold to take one last look at Alex before she leaves. Alex takes a breath and quickly runs to the bedroom to get her stuff ready. As she prepares to leave the apartment bag on her shoulder she pauses seeing the hideous painting that has yet to be returned. Smiling she shakes her head thinking, 'If Casey loves that thing so much then we will hang it in the lake house. She deserves to have whatever she loves and I will make myself love it just for her.' Grabbing the offending piece of artwork she exits the apartment and heads towards Abbie and Kim's apartment. There is only nine more hours till she proposes to the love of her life.

* * *

"Well, I am glad you finally stopped crying and decided to enjoy yourself," Kim says shaking her head at Casey as Casey tries on another dress.

"Hey, we were apart for a year and a half, not to mention I thought she was dead cut me some slack." Casey huffs.

Kim sighs, "I just don't understand you can go shopping without her at home and go to work, so why is going away for the weekend so bad?"

"When I am in the same city it's not that bad, because I am always coming home to her, I think this was just rough because I know I won't see her at all for two days. It just kind of hit a raw spot. But geez she was taking it like it was nothing. Maybe I am just crazy."

"You are just in love Casey. It's okay. I used to miss Abbie too, before she moved in. Now I can't wait to get away."

Casey shakes her head, "You lie. You are a love sick puppy and you know it. I saw you two before your last trip to Chicago you were a mess, both of you."

Kim smiles brightly, "I know."

Casey grins, "So you want to know a secret?"

"Always!"

"I am going to propose to Alex!" Casey exclaims in a shriek.

Kim's eyes are as wide as saucers, she wants to burst out laughing knowing that Alex is going to beat her to it but she just plays it off as excitement for the sake of surprise. "Oh my God Casey that's great! When are you going to ask her?"

Casey smiles, "I have no idea, but sometime in the next couple of weeks. I was thinking maybe at the beach, like writing will you marry me in the sand, or maybe something up at the lake. I don't know, but I thought you could help me plan something this weekend."

Kim shakes her head thinking, 'What is it with these two and wanting my help in proposal planning. Do I look like Martha Stewart or something?' "Sure Case, sounds good." Kim finishes heading to the door of the dressing room.

* * *

As Abbie and Alex drive towards the lake house Alex starts running through the checklist. "Okay, Abb's so Olivia and Serena, Elliot and Kathy, and Fin are finishing the candles?" Alex asks nerves definitely present in her voice.

"Yes Al they are, oh and Elliot got Kathleen and Maureen to get together some friends to come and help with lighting the candles and dispersing them tonight so there will be a more even scattering of light." Abbie says with a smile.

"Oh, I like it! Thank you!"

"You know I am totally screwed now because of your ridiculously romantic proposal. I will never be able to top this when I propose to Kim." Abbie sighs tapping her pen against the window.

Alex's eyes go wide, "Abigail Carmichael when are you proposing? Why haven't you told me?"

"Honestly I wasn't so sure if she would want to get married until we started helping you. Then we started talking about it and she just lights up, so I know she wants to and I definitely do. I love her and I hate when we are apart. I just always want to be with her. So I bought a ring. It looks like one her grandmother had that she loved, she will be so blown away."

"I know how you should propose!" Alex blurts.

With a raised eyebrow Abbie asks, "How?"

"On the 4th of July take her to my family's beach house and propose as they are shooting off fireworks. Kim loves fireworks her face always lights up with excitement when she sees them it would be the perfect moment." Alex says with a grin.

"Alex, that's perfect and the 4th isn't that far off. Geez, maybe you should be an engagement planner instead of teaching horseback."

Alex laughs, "That's an idea. I can see it former prosecutor gone proposal planner, from sex crimes to happiness."

"Well, at least you have other career options."

"Yep, ok back to tonight." Alex says with a bright smile on her face. She can't wait to see Casey again.

* * *

Pulling up to the lake house Kim takes a breath to steady herself. She is so excited for Casey but doesn't want to let on that something is about to happen. "I am so ready to get out of the car and lie down on the couch and watch TV!" Casey exclaims as Kim parks the car.

Kim shakes her head it is unbelievable how well Alex knows Casey. "Crap Casey," Kim starts, "we didn't go grocery shopping."

"No," Casey whines, "do we have to? Can't we just order a pizza?"

Kim laughs internally to herself, 'Geez Alex has her down almost word for word.' "Casey, how about I help you get the bags inside and you can unpack your stuff and lie down and find us something to watch on TV and I will run to the store?" Kim says confidently.

"Sounds great!" Casey jumps on the offer, "I think I am going to take a shower too so I can de-car myself."

"Awesome!" Kim replies helping Casey unload the car.

"Okay that's all of it. I am going to run to the store now," Kim says heading back to the door, "if you need anything call. I should be back in 30 minutes."

"Okay, see you in a bit," Casey adds as Kim walks out the door. Casey heads to her room and opens her bag and grabs her ring for Alex. Checking to make sure it was okay she lets out a sigh of relief and puts it safely in the back of the nightstand drawer. She knows with Kim's help she can plan a perfect proposal.

Unpacking her bag Casey pulls out a pair of jeans, a white tank top, and a loose fitting beige sweater along with a pair of sandals. Grabbing her makeup bag she heads into the bathroom and takes a shower. Afterwards she puts on her clean clothes and feels much more relaxed.

Heading into the living room to lay down on the couch and start looking for a show to watch she catches sight of the clock 6pm. Grabbing her phone to call and check on Kim she gets a text message from Alex. It reads, 'Look out back."

Confused Casey walks to the back door and looks down towards the lake and sees Alex standing on the dock. She looks gorgeous in her black framed glasses, skinny jeans, a white and black stripe loose fitting shirt and flats. Casey smiles at her girlfriend as she walks outside to greet her.

"Oh my God Alex what are you doing here?" the redhead asks as she walks down towards the lake.

Alex beams, "I couldn't wait another minute to see you."

"I knew you'd miss me more than you were letting on." Casey says with a big smile as she walks out to the dock and lets Alex wrap her arms around her.

Alex looks into Casey's beautiful green eyes and softly says, "Casey whenever I am not with you I miss you." Then she softly presses a kiss to Casey's lips. Pulling back she says I want to show you something.

Casey smiles as she lets Alex turn her to face the lake. Alex holds Casey from behind and rests her head on Casey's shoulder as they look out at the lake. The sun is starting to set and the sky is becoming darker, it almost looks magical with the changing colors in the sky starting to let the stars shine through.

Alex takes a breath and begins, "The world before finding you was like this lake. It was dark cold and empty, but the day I met you my world got a bit brighter and every day since then has been brighter because of my love for you."

Casey suddenly notices lots of little flickering lights start to appear all around the lake's shore line as they begin to float their way into the lake. Alex continues, "All these little lights you see are candles they sit on wish boats. There are a total of 821 of them. There is one for every day I have loved you Casey Diane Novak. That is 820 days the 21st candle represents all the remaining days of both our lives because I intend to love you for every single one of them. They are wish boats Casey because they represent my one greatest wish in this world."

Pausing, Alex lets go of Casey and steps back turning Casey towards her. Alex says, "My one greatest wish Casey Diane Novak is that you will say yes." With that Alex pulls the ring box from her pocket and opens it. Casey's eyes go wide as tears start to form in them.

"Oh my God Alex," Casey starts trying to gain full use of her voice, "yes, yes I will marry you. Oh my God yes!" As she finishes answering Alex places the ring on her finger. Casey is shaking she is so excited. As she looks at the ring and realizes that it is her dream ring she looks up into Alex's eyes, "You got me the ring. I can't believe you got me a ring like this," she kisses Alex passionately. Pulling away Casey whispers, "I love you Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot and I can't wait to be your wife."

She kisses Alex again but it is more of a soft sweet kiss. As she breaks the kiss she lets Alex hold her tight in her arms while they look out over the lake at the hundreds of little candles burning bright, representing their love and hope for the future. Casey truly feels like the luckiest woman in the world.

**A/N: I love this proposal! I am trying to get the next chapter up tonight. By the way, a wish boat is a little candle attached usually by hot glue to a little thin cut of wood just in case you didn't know. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thank you all for your awesome reviews they really keep me going! Sorry just one chapter tonight I am exhausted from a long work day. Hopefully I can post a couple more to make it up to you all! Enjoy!**

The two lovers sat down on the dock wrapped in one another's arms watching all the little lights from the candles dance across the lake. Alex pulls Casey into her and kisses her neck. She is so happy right now and doesn't even know how to express it she just feels like she wants to burst. Casey looks into Alex's eyes smiling, "How did you do all of this?"

Alex laughs a little, "Lots of help. By the way, we might have a giant bar bill for the next month."

Casey laughs loudly at this piece of information. "Oh I love you so much, thank you Alex. Thank you for making this the most memorable moment of my life."

She leans back and kisses her fiancée. The kiss starts out soft and gentle but soon turn more passionate. Casey runs her hands up Alex's sides and goes to feel her breasts when Alex pulls back. "Uh babe, I think we should head inside. No idea of how many of my helpers might still be watching."

Casey smiles placing one last kiss to Alex's lips before standing. She reaches out a hand to Alex and helps her up. Walking back into the house Alex and Casey find a pizza waiting on the table in front of the kitchen with a bucket of beer and a note from Kim and Abbie.

_Dear Alex and Casey,_

_Congratulations! We have stocked the kitchen with food for your weekend so relax and enjoy one another. :) You are expected at our place Monday night for a post engagement dinner celebration with your helpers aka friends._

_By the way, Alex I know you wanted dinner from the Italian place, but let's be real you just got engaged. Instead I prepaid for dinner there for you all tomorrow night. So tonight its pizza, Casey wanted it anyway. :) Abbie insisted beer went better with pizza than champagne, but if you still want the bubbly it's in the fridge along with strawberries!_

_Love to you both,_

_Kim and Abbie_

The two women smiled at each other. Not only were they fortunate to have each other, but they were fortunate to have such amazing friends. Casey wraps her arms around Alex's neck and firmly kisses her on the lips. Breaking the kiss and resting her head against Alex's she says, "Thank you. I can't believe you put all of this together. I seriously didn't expect anything."

The redhead's smile is so big Alex can't help but smile bigger just seeing it. This really is the happiest moment in her life. She can only imagine how many more amazing moments she and Casey will have in life. "Umm, so I have one other surprise for you," Alex says stepping back and walking into the kitchen. Coming back into the room carrying Casey's new abstract painting Alex smiles and says, "We need to figure out where we want to hang this!"

Casey's raises an eyebrow and confusedly asks, "Why would we hang that here?"

"That is the surprise, don't be mad, but I wanted the house for the weekend and it turns out the Greylek's were going to put the house on the market this week and they expected a lot of showings, and anyway I bought the house for us." Alex finishes rambling and bites her lip waiting for Casey's reaction.

Casey jaw drops and she blinks a few times before shaking her head as if to clear it. "You bought this house?" she asks pointing a finger to the floor for emphasis.

Alex really doesn't know how to read her fiancée at this moment. Realizing she is still dumbly holding the painting in the air she drops it to rest on the tops of her feet. "Yeah," she whispers, "Are you mad?"

Casey shakes her head again, "No I-I am just in shock. This is seriously the most unbelievable day of my life. You bought a house just to propose to me in. I am just dumbfounded. I am dumbfounded and so star struck in love with you! But why do you want to hang that painting in our lake house?"

Alex smiles, "You bought it because you love it and I wasn't being fair by not giving it a chance. But, I firmly believe you deserve to have whatever you love so since you love it I love it. So we need to find a place to hang it. It can be our first piece of artwork for the house. That is unless you want it in the apartment then we can take it home."

Casey shakes her head, internally thinking 'Oh my God, no not that painting,' but she can't tell Alex that because she will have to tell her about the ring and tonight is all about Alex. Taking a breath she smiles and says, "That sounds great. Why don't we pick a place tomorrow though, I have other plans for tonight."

Alex smirks at her red haired lover knowing just what Casey has in mind. Taking her hand she lets Casey lead her into the bedroom. Dinner can wait and Casey can't and Alex doesn't want to either.

* * *

The next morning, Casey woke up at 5 am still half lying on her lover. Listening to Alex's steady breathing and heartbeat she smiled. Never in her life would she have ever imagined finding someone who could love her so much.

Pushing up she watched Alex sleep. Everything was beautiful about this woman her personality, her golden hair, her body, her soul capturing ice blue eyes, her perfect lips, even her nose. Casey loved everything about her and was so happy to know that soon they would be married.

Casey knew now how she wanted to give Alex her ring. She was going to take Alex to the place she used to go when Alex was gone. It would put a new meaning on it and it would open another part of her to the blonde. She leaned in and captured Alex's lips in a soft kiss.

"Mmm, good morning." Alex said opening her eyes and kissing Casey again this time a little more sensual than the last. Smiling Alex said, "I love waking up to you kissing me."

"Then I will always wake you up that way." Casey replies with a grin. Continuing she adds, "We need to get up and get dressed I want to take you someplace special."

"Casey it's still dark out and you barely let me get any sleep last night." Alex states.

Grinning Casey replies, "I didn't hear you complaining." Alex swats her shoulder as she rolls into the redhead and grumbles, "But it's dark." As if Casey had missed her point the first time.

"I know, we need to hurry now get up lazy bones!" Casey says excitedly. Alex shakes her head but gets out of bed with a smile. Seeing Casey so excited makes it worth it even if she feels like a zombie.

The couple redresses in their clothes from the night before just adding lightweight jackets to shield themselves from the night's chilly air they head to the car. Casey makes sure to grab her ring in secret and tuck it into her pocket before climbing into the Volvo. She hopes she can make it there in time.

As they drive up the winding mountain road Alex questions, "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere really special to me baby."

Alex wonders where Casey could be taking her but she loves the surprise too much to ask for hints. Coming to a small opening in the tree line Casey pulls over on the shoulder of the road. Looking at Casey, Alex quirks an eyebrow, "I guess we are here?"

Seeing her fiancé's confused expression Casey chuckles, "We still have a little bit of a hike, but soon."

"In the dark? In the woods? Is the surprise you are taking me out there to kill me?"

Full on laughing now Casey grins. "Aw, baby I will protect you plus the sun is just starting to rise and I have a flash light come on." Casey says exiting the SUV. Opening Alex's door she helps her out of the car and leads her to a barely noticeable path.

After walking for about ten minutes they reach a rocky slope that overlooks a valley. Casey takes a seat on a smooth rock and motions for Alex to sit in between her legs. Alex does as motioned and leans back into Casey's warm arms.

Loving the feel of Alex pressed into her Casey kisses her lover's neck and inhales the sweet smell which is Alex. Whispering in her ear she says, "I love you more than anything. I brought you here because on weekends when you were...away and I couldn't sleep I would drive here."

"You'd drive two and a half hours to come sit here?" Alex's softly asks.

"Yes. Kim and I found this place in college and it was always so peaceful and beautiful. I missed you so much and everything in life seemed dull and colorless and when I couldn't stand it anymore I would come here and watch the sunrise and see the colors. It helped me remember clearly just how beautiful you were and still are. It helped me remember how you felt and how you made me feel."

As Casey finished her explanation Alex could see the sun start to appear on the horizon. It started as a small sliver of red that as it rose added more beautiful colors to the sky like a magical painting. Watching it in silence Alex could understand why Casey would come here. It was breathtaking and impossible to watch something so beautiful and not feel anything but overwhelming joy. She could understand its rejuvenating powers.

Casey whispered into Alex's ear, "Alex you are like the sun in my life. You add color to everything. I love that you add such beauty to my life. Without you I am lost and that is why I bought you this ring." She holds the ring in her fingers in front of Alex and Alex gasps, "Casey... It's…it's beautiful."

"Just like you," Casey says kissing Alex lightly. Pulling back she slips the ring on to Alex's finger and continues, "This ring made me think of you because the big diamond is like the sun and the little ones are like all the stars in the night sky. The stars are all the happy memories we share and plan to share and you are the sun in my life adding beauty to every moment I share with you. I love you Alexandra Cabot and I am so excited to share my life with you."

Turning slightly in Casey's arms Alex kisses her. Breaking the kiss with slight tears brimming in her eyes she looks deep into Casey's eyes, taking in her entire expression as if to memorize this moment forever. Running her finger tips down the side of Casey's face she asks, "When did you plan this?"

Casey grins, "Remember that painting I bought? Well I wasn't inspired to buy the painting I was inspired to buy the ring."

Alex's eyes go wide as her mouth forms the shape of an 'o' as she looks again at the beautiful ring Casey just gave her. It is an elegant cushion cut diamond ring encircled by a double row of bead-set diamonds. It is absolutely beautiful.

Casey smiles at Alex and says, "I realized that morning that I didn't want to wait another minute not being married, so I wanted to ask you to marry me. I decided to start looking at rings but when I saw this one I knew it was the one, so I ran out and bought it. It basically said everything I feel in its appearance."

Alex lays her head back on Casey's shoulder and laughs a little, "So the painting was what a rouse?"

Casey has a sheepish smile, "Yes, I am sorry. I knew the worse it looked the more you wouldn't pry into what I had been doing, I am sorry."

Alex bursts out laughing now. She laughs so hard she starts to cry. Casey starts to laugh too at the hilarity of the whole situation. Pulling herself together Alex takes a breath to steady her voice, "I love the painting now, we are hanging it in our room at the lake house. Every time I look at it I am going to remember this day hell this weekend."

Pressing her cheek against Alex's, Casey whispers, "That sounds like a wonderful plan. I love you Alexandra. I will love you now and forever."

"I love you too Casey. I can't wait to plan our wedding." Alex says kissing Casey sweetly.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Enjoy, I hope to have one more chapter posted tonight. **

* * *

**Monday Early Evening**

Casey stood in front of her bathroom mirror putting on her make-up as she got ready for her and Alex's dinner celebration at Abbie and Kim's. As she carefully applied her mascara Alex walked into the bathroom looking a little flustered. The blonde had been on the phone in the other room when she got out of the shower not too long ago and now she wondered who had caused her fiancé so much distress. Worried Casey stopped getting ready and turned to look directly at Alex, "What's wrong?"

"You won't believe who I just got off the phone with…" Alex began. "Who?" Casey asked with concern in her voice as she leaned against the counter.

"Our mothers!"

Casey's jaw dropped at the information. Pulling it together she clarified, "What? Both of them?"

"Yes Casey both of them, as in they are together. Your mom was so excited about our engagement that she drove up from Virginia and is staying with my mom right now. They are planning Casey…planning our wedding…as we speak this minute! They are planning our wedding. I can't handle this you have to put a stop to it right now. I mean this is…" Casey stops Alex's rambling outburst with a kiss. At first Alex is caught off guard and then she kisses back. They take a minute to share a few soft kisses just enjoying each other before Casey breaks the lip lock.

"Alex, do not worry. I will take care of it. It's our wedding. We can plan it and then let them help make it how we want it to be, that way everyone goes home happy." Casey says smiling.

Alex closes her eyes while shaking her head as if she is trying to clear it. Opening them again she adds, "Casey they want us to have dinner with them tomorrow night at moms so they can start planning with us. How are we going to get out of that?"

Going back to finishing her makeup Casey assures, "Don't worry. Tomorrow morning we can go buy some wedding magazines and have breakfast at the bagel place. Over coffee and bagels we can hammer out all the important stuff like place, what colors we want, location and cake. Then we can tell them that stuff and let them take care of the rest. It's super easy that way all we have to take care of is our outfits and we are done."

"I wish I was as confident as you are but I'm not. We can try it your way though."

"Good, now start getting ready or we are going to be super late! I told you that you should have showered with me." Casey says shaking her head as she digs the hair dryer out of the drawer.

Alex laughs as she starts the shower and begins to undress, "Casey if we had showered together we would have been super late because we would be in the bedroom right now and we wouldn't be getting ready."

Laughing herself Casey looks at her lover and adds, "You better get in that shower now before I drag you to the bed."

* * *

Casey and Alex walked up to their best friends' apartment. Both were wearing beaming smiles as Alex knocked on the door. As Abbie opened the door to let their guests in the room's occupants yelled a celebratory, "Congratulations!"

Thanking their friends, they walked into the living area of the apartment. It didn't take long for the couple to be split up and soon the couple found themselves on opposite ends of the room talking to their friends on how each proposed and what their potential wedding plans would be. About an hour and a half later, Alex looked over at Casey while entertaining an overly excited Serena with the story of how Casey proposed.

"And that's when she said will you marry me?" Serena asked while pouring another glass of wine from the refreshment table.

Alex grinned making eye contact with Casey again, "Umm, it was more like 'that's why I bought you this ring,'" Alex answers while pouring two drinks herself as she catches Casey starring at her.

Serena looks at Alex funny, "So she didn't ask you to marry her?"

"Well there was really no need. We were already engaged since I had proposed the night before." Alex says as she sees Casey again and Casey subtly nods towards the kitchen Alex grins.

"Oh," Serena says shaking her head, "sorry dumb blonde moment."

Alex laughs, "No worries, we all have them. Hey, excuse me one moment I am going to run this drink to Casey."

Making her way through the apartment she finally reaches the semi-private kitchen. Kim and Casey are laughing about something as Alex walks up and hands Casey the glass of wine. "I am surprised you had wine Kim I was sure Abbie would have only bought beer."

Kim smirks, "I made her clean while prepared the food and beverages. I love her, but you can't trust her with taking care of the food or drinks."

Alex snakes her arms around Casey's waist resting her chin on the redheads shoulder as she hums in response to Kim's statement. Casey smiles turning her face to kiss Alex's cheek. Kim shakes her head at the couple, "You two are ridiculous."

"What? Why?" Casey asks with a knowing chuckle in her voice.

"You are so all over each other and your love just radiates off of you two. It's cute and nauseating at the same time." Kim laughs at Casey's faked look of hurt.

Alex turns and playfully nips Casey's neck earning a shriek from Casey and another head shake from Kim. Kim holds her hands up in surrender, "Okay, I am leaving. You two enjoy yourselves. In ten minutes we will be serving dessert so 'playtime' will be over then."

"Aw Kim you don't have to leave we were just playing with you!" Casey calls out as Kim walks from the room.

"She got the hint." Alex smirks.

"You are so bad." Casey adds before turning in Alex's arms and pushing her back against the counter kissing her passionately.

Breaking the kiss Alex looks at Casey, "I know I am going to sound ridiculous right now since I just spent the entire weekend with you in my arms, but as fun as tonight has been you have been too far away from me. Can we just snuggle on their couch the rest of the night and make everyone come to us in turns?"

Casey lets out a loud hearty laugh letting her head fall back, "You are so silly. I literally just imagined all our friends lined up like some scene from the Godfather."

Alex grins and says, "You love me for it!"

"Your right I do. Sure lets go push Abbie off the couch." Taking Alex's hand Casey leads her from the kitchen and through the living room. Arriving at the couch, Alex jokingly says, "Up Carmichael!"

Abbie feigns hurt but moves to the chair laughing understanding that the couple wants to be together for a bit. She was wondering how long it would take them to sit down after watching them being shuffled around the apartment in circles for the last two hours. Catching Kim's eye she blows her a kiss. Seeing how happy Alex and Casey are makes her want to propose way sooner than the fourth.

Snuggling in each other's arms Alex and Casey continue to talk to friends as Kim brings out the desserts with the help of Serena and Olivia. Handing Alex and Casey a mixed plate so the couple doesn't have to get up again, Olivia takes a seat near Alex. "So I hear from Serena that everything went off without a hitch Friday night." Olivia says with a smile to her friends.

Alex looks at Casey and smiles sweetly before turning back and answering, "Yeah, it sure did. The wish boats turned out great I really owe everyone at SVU a huge thanks. Oh, and as I promised the squads bar bill is covered for the next month."

"You don't have to do that Al. Plus Elliot had the kids do most of them. Dickie got caught sneaking out when he was grounded, so your wish boats ended up being the majority of his punishment."

Alex laughs at this knowledge and yells over to Elliot, "Hey Elliot, I just heard from your partner here that you used child labor to make those wish boats. A good prosecutor like me can't be caught paying for child labor so no bar tab!"

"Olivia!" Elliot yells as Kathy erupts in a fit of giggles and Fin shakes his head at Liv.

"Hey, I felt guilty accepting the free drinks when we only made like ten of those damn things." Olivia says raising her hands in the air in surrender.

"Hey, we had a good thing going for us Liv but you had to go and blow it." Fin adds shaking his head, "And I made those ten, so as I see it you owe me ten drinks now."

"Hey my kids made the other 811! And helped light and get them in the lake so Liv you owe me drinks for life!" Elliot added.

The whole room was filled with laughter. Casey falls onto Alex laughing so hard, "Oh my God Alex we owe them for life!"

Alex smiled looking at the room. She was truly blessed to have such amazing friends. She'd do anything for anyone of them. Looking at Casey she knew by the smile on her face that she felt the same way.


	21. Chapter 21

**At home after party…**

Laying her head on Casey's chest that night while snuggled in bed Alex thought about everything that had happened since they had first met. It amazed Alex how a chance run in, or tackle, in a hallway could lead them to where they are today. Alex wondered how so many things could have turned out a different way.

"Hey Casey, I have a question. If I hadn't tackled you in the hallway that day would you have asked me out?" Alex questions.

"Why do you ask?"

Alex pushes up to look Casey in the eyes, "Answer the question Counselor." Alex says with a smile.

"I like to think that I would have built up the nerve to ask you out. I wanted to ask you for your number right there, but I thought you were out of my league to be honest." Casey said slightly blushing.

"You thought I was out of your league, why Casey?"

Casey takes a breath, "Alex you are gorgeous always put together, you have this refined manner you exude, and you can be slightly intimidating to people that don't know you. So I was nervous, too nervous to say anything to you. Plus, I didn't know if you were into women so I didn't want to offend you."

"First off, you were being ridiculous that morning, because I remember thinking you were stunningly gorgeous and I was so embarrassed that I tackled such a gorgeous woman to the floor. Second, what changed from morning coffee to the floor outside of Petrovsky's office? You were so confident there?"

A giant smile forms on Casey's face. "I thought fate was sending me a message. You being on top of me suddenly was so unbelievable, I felt like nothing could go wrong. I just went with my gut and it paid off big time!" Casey says wiggling her ring finger showing off her engagement ring.

Alex laughs, "I'd say so."

Casey hums and adds, "You know fate seems to have had a lot of help in our relationship. Around my birthday I was thinking that maybe I should just listen to everyone and pack up your stuff but thought I could wait till after my birthday to decide for good. Then on my birthday I received flowers that I guess you preordered for me. Even though, at the time I knew it was a mistake and you were gone, I realized I couldn't do it that it would destroy me so I stopped listening to everyone telling me to come to terms with your death."

Casey suddenly realizes Alex has a look of shock on her face. Alex frowns and says, "He told me he cancelled them. Asshole."

"What? Are you upset I got them?" Casey asks confused at Alex's annoyance.

Alex realizes that Casey doesn't understand and quickly responds, "No, not at all. It's just I didn't preorder any flowers. I sent you those flowers while in Wisconsin. Jack caught me though and said he cancelled them and that I was lucky because if anyone discovered it they could have traced it back and come after me. I guess he was worried that it could be like Pandora's Box. Once I made contact one time I might try to do it again type thing. I never mentioned it because I just put it out of my memory."

Casey kisses Alex lovingly. "Thank you, I loved them and I love you for wanting to show me your love even though it was stupid and could have gotten you killed."

Chuckling Alex says, "Thanks I guess."

**The Next Morning…**

Casey laughs as she slows her run to a slow jog to wait for her lagging girlfriend. They decided to go for a run through the park before grabbing wedding magazines and eating breakfast at the bagel place, but Casey could really tell that Alex was out of shape for running. "Come on lazy bones," Casey calls to Alex, "we only have a few more blocks before we are there!"

Alex stops and falls down on the soft grass gasping for air. She tries to yell 'fuck you,' but it comes out more like 'fah ooo.'

Casey quietly chuckles understanding Alex but asks just to get a rise out of her, "What was that baby?" She laughs audibly when she is met with Alex flicking her off. Casey walks to her worn out lover, "Ah, baby let me help you up and we can walk the rest of the way."

"Okay, just let me catch my breath please. By the way, how are you in such great shape? I never see you work out."

Casey smiles, "I started running a lot while you were away, but since you came back I haven't been out much. We should get back into running now that you are back, but we can take it slow until you get back up to par."

Alex gives Casey a disapproving look before saying, "Gee, thanks."

Helping Alex up, the couple walked the rest of the way. Picking out a few wedding magazines from the corner store they headed into the bagel place for breakfast. After ordering they sat down into a booth to wait.

Feeling better Alex asks, "So my love, where do you want to get married?" Casey smiles thinking for a second she says, "Um, the family beach house on the beach."

"Okay, sounds great! Date wise I am assuming since you would like a beach wedding we would want it warm."

Casey nods as their food arrives. Taking her coffee she sips the Americano relishing the bold flavor while Alex picks her bagel apart. Casey purses her lips in thought, "Alex, I want to get married as soon as possible. I don't want to wait. I want to be your wide and the sooner the better."

Alex laughs, "Like how soon? We have about three more weeks of June then its July so what are you thinking?"

Casey smiles brightly, "Let's get married at the end of July. What colors do you think we should pick?"

Alex thinks for a minute while stirring her coffee, "I like white, bright teal, and gray."

"Ok, so far we have a beach wedding at the beach house, end of July, and the colors. Outfits…do you want to wear a dress? I know I do." Casey adds brightly.

"I do not want to wear a dress, so mine will be a surprise I guess." Alex says with a wide grin.

"Okay, now all we need to do is pick out a cake and devise our side of a guest list and we can let the parents take over! See how easy that was!" Casey replies with a chuckle as she pops a bite of her bagel in her mouth.

Alex smiles and answers "If you say so babe."

**Dinner that night…**

Alex and Casey walk into Alex's mother's house immediately swarmed by Charlotte and Caroline. "Girls we are so happy you are here," declares Caroline excitedly while hugging Alex first then her daughter. "Agreed, and we have so many ideas for you but let us see the rings first," Charlotte adds hugging them both.

After showing off the rings to much approval of their mothers, the family heads towards the dining room to enjoy dinner. As the sit down Casey feels like this is the best time as ever to lay down the ground rules of wedding planning and ease Alex's fears of their wedding becoming more their parents wedding. Taking a sip of her wine Casey takes a breath to prepare her statement.

"Well, Alex and I discussed what we want and came up with things that we would like that are important wedding wise to us that are non-negotiable. So we can give you those points and then you both are welcome to go nuts from there! How does that sound?" Casey adds excitedly but nervously.

Charlotte and Caroline look at each other, then Charlotte replies, "Sounds good to us! Let's see what you two have come up with!"

While enjoying their dinner Alex and Casey showed their moms the picture of the cake they decided on, the colors they would like, outfit ideas, and destination. Then they covered who they would like to be in the wedding party. Everything seemed to be covered smoothly and the mothers loved how much free reign they were going to be allowed. Finally Charlotte asks, "When do you expect to have a date set?"

Alex grins, "Well Mom, we have picked a date we are planning on July 31st."

Both mothers exclaim, "What?"

Charlotte adds, "That is barely any time to send out invitations and get everything done."

Caroline chimes in, "It is going to look like a total shotgun wedding!"

At this comment Casey bursts out laughing! Seeing Casey lose control causes Alex to join in on the hysterics. Both mothers shake their heads and ask the laughing daughters to please compose themselves.

Pulling herself together, Casey replies, "Well, I am sure everyone won't think it's a shotgun wedding, because I think they will know that Alex hasn't knocked me up just yet."

"Or have I?" Alex asks wiggling her eyebrows at Casey. They both start laughing again, but are quickly quieted by their mothers' harsh glare.

"Listen Mom," Casey starts, "I want to marry Alex and I want to marry her as soon as possible. I love her and I lost her once before, and one of my biggest regrets was not marrying her before then. I don't want to waste any more time than we need too. We do not need a ridiculously extravagant wedding, just us and close friends and family, that's enough for us." As she finishes she is looking directly into Alex's eyes. The love between them is very well apparent to the mothers' looking on.

Charlotte looks at Caroline and they nod knowingly. Charlotte begins, "Okay, well we have a lot of work, but I think Caroline and I can pull it off. First thing will be getting the invitations out immediately then we will need to find a dress for Casey and an outfit for Alex. Ladies your next few weeks will be all wedding planning to make this date work. Are you up to it?"

Alex smiles looking into Casey's green eyes, "For Casey I can do anything."

"And I will do anything for you," Casey adds kissing Alex on the lips.

Now all that was left to do was plan a wedding and the couple was excited to get started. They knew it would be hard work but they could care less, because at the end of it they would be married. Casey grinned to herself thinking 'Now we just need to plan a honeymoon!'

**A/N: Sorry so short. I am exhausted. Will be working on two projects tomorrow so I hope I will be able to write something, but it will greatly depend on how long my work takes me. Anyway, read and let me know what you think! Also, would you like more details about the planning or would you just like me to get to the wedding as soon as possible? You let me know! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Ok, so I knocked my projects out early today and have been working away on the story. So next chapter is almost done as well. Enjoy this one in the meantime!**

One week later, Alex sat on the edge of the bed with her head hung looking at her feet. To say she was unhappy was an understatement, she was borderline depressed. "Casey, are you sure you have to go?" Alex asked tears present in her voice.

Casey walks out of the bathroom while still putting in an earring. Seeing Alex sitting on the side of the bed with tears running silently down her cheeks broke her heart. Running over to Alex she sits down on the bed and wraps her arms tightly around her lover. Thinking for a moment she begins, "Alex baby, I promise I won't be at work late. I am getting off at 5 today so we can go to our 6 o'clock cake tasting. You will be okay, and I will be fine. I am sorry baby, I would love to stay here with you every day but I have to get back if Branch is going to even think about letting me take off two weeks for our honeymoon. You want to go to Australia don't you?"

Alex shakes her head yes while she angrily wipes away her tears. Looking into Casey's green eyes she tries to compose herself. "Casey I am just so scared," the blonde finally confesses, "I don't want something to happen to you."

Wiping away the last of Alex's tears Casey leans forward and places a chaste kiss against her lips. Pulling back a little Casey looks deep into Alex's steely eyes before kissing her once more. Finally she suggests, "Alex why don't you come down to the office with me. You can bring your Kindle and some wedding magazines and lay on the couch while I work. We can go out to lunch. I think maybe you will feel more comfortable if you see me at work. What do you think?"

Alex nods, "I will come with you, but I will have to leave before lunch I have a shopping date with my Mom and Abbie to pick out my outfit and Abbie and Elliot's. Although, I think you are right Casey, I think seeing you in the element will probably help ease my fears."

Kissing Alex once more Casey stands up, "Okay, why don't you get your stuff together and I will go make us some coffee and yogurt."

Alex nods again and says, "Okay," as she stands and watches Casey walk out of the room. Walking into the bathroom she looks at herself in the mirror. She was feeling more and more confident and her last appointment with Violet had gone well, but today she felt a little weak. Not broken by any means just shaken, she was just so terrified that Casey would get hurt working her old job. Casey had offered numerous times since last Wednesday when she told Alex she had to go back to work to transfer to a new unit but Alex didn't want to be the cause of her leaving a job she was passionate about. It was Alex's problem and she needed to come to terms with it, hopefully with Casey's plan and strength she would be able to do just that.

Fixing her makeup and grabbing her stuff Alex headed to the kitchen. Casey stood by the coffee maker wearing a smile as she watched Alex walk into the room. Casey walked to Alex and wrapped her arms around her pulling her into a tight embrace. "Are you feeling any better?" Casey whispered into her ear.

"Yeah, I am. Thank you for being so understanding Case. I am really going to give this a shot." Alex answers kissing Casey's cheek as they break the embrace. Alex sits at the island and takes a bite of her yogurt as she looks at Casey. Casey takes a breath, "Alex, like I've said I don't mind transferring if that makes you feel better."

"Absolutely not Casey, you love your job and I do not want you to have to give it up because of my insecurities."

Casey shakes her head as she finishes her yogurt. "Thank you, you really are sweet, but if I see it becoming too much for you I will transfer and you can't get upset with me. Got it?"

Alex smiles at her fiancé, "I got it babe."

* * *

A few hours later, Alex lay on Casey's couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table browsing between web pages on her Kindle. She was determined to figure out where she wanted to go shopping before she left with her mother and Abbie that way there would be a lot less places to waste time looking. Looking up she watched Casey nose deep in files. The redhead was intently reviewing cases and picking out parts to further review. Alex smiled at how familiar their current positions were to her, the only difference was Alex not being surrounded with case files herself. That thought suddenly caused a pang of sadness to strike her. Maybe she would miss prosecuting more than she thought she would.

"Alex, why are you staring at me?" Casey asks laughing as she looks up and see Alex's eyes wide like she'd just been caught red handed.

"I was just admiring your beauty wife-to be." Alex answers childishly sticking out her tongue at Casey's laughter.

Casey laughs again. Setting her pen down and composing herself she asks, "So did you find what you were looking for?"

"I think I have. Now once I take care of today and we knock out the cake tasting, we hopefully will be done on our end."

"Well sort of," Casey starts, "I still have to go for a few dress fittings and we both need to figure out the music for the reception." Casey's eyes become brighter thinking about the reception. Thinking about dancing with Alex to their songs on their wedding day is an unbelievably happy thought.

Alex sits up and leans forward, "Okay, just to confirm Olivia and Kim are wearing light heather gray dresses with bright teal waist bands."

Casey shakes her head, "Yes they are. You have that goofy grin. What are you thinking up?"

Alex smiles widely, "You will have to see on our wedding day, won't you!"

"Hey! I told you!" Casey exclaims while standing and walking over to sit in Alex's lap.

Smiling Alex whispers into Casey's ear, "You had the right to remain silent Counselor."

Grinning Casey whispers back hotly into Alex's ear, "Yeah, but I thought I had my attorney present, I didn't realize she was the ADA." As she finishes she lightly bites Alex's earlobe running her tongue over it eliciting a moan like yelp from the blonde. Chuckling she stands and walks back to her desk to go back to work, leaving a flustered Alex in her wake.

Alex watches as her red haired lover sits back down to work. Casey's plan was working and working very well. Alex was starting to want to return to work at the office herself and they might not all be for the purest reasons.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Alex stood in the center of the dressing room looking at herself in the mirror. She was shocked at her appearance. This was the outfit she was going to wear on her wedding day. It was a beautiful white jumpsuit with a halter neck and a v-cut neck line accented with lace and a white sash at the waist line. The seamstress said that they could dye the outfit bright teal and keep the lace white and have the sash dyed heather gray if she would like to keep with the wedding colors but Alex was liking it in white. It was amazing and she knew Casey would love the neckline of the outfit.

Turning to her mother and Abbie, Alex asked, "Do you like it?"

"Uh, yeah," Abbie exclaimed.

"Honey, I think you look beautiful," Charlotte says walking to her daughter and taking her hands in her own, "but what if you don't have it dyed, wear it in white."

"I second that idea!" Abbie exclaims before biting into a chocolate covered strawberry.

Alex smiles at herself in the mirror. "This is the outfit! Okay, wow, this is the outfit I am going to get married in!" she exclaims, "But what if we have them dye the sash and lace in bright teal. So it will be white with the teal accents."

Charlotte smiles brightly, "I think that is a splendid idea Alexandra."

"Me who," Abbie tries to say with a mouth full of strawberry. Alex and Charlotte turn to stare at the brunette as Abbie takes a huge sip of champagne. Swallowing Abbie corrects, "I meant me too."

The room erupts in laughter. "Okay it's settled then. Abbie and Elliot will wear the light heather gray pants with white shirts and bright teal belts and I will wear this! I can't wait!"

* * *

Alex arrived back at the DA's office by 4:50. Walking back to Casey's office she smiles seeing the red head still hard at work. Leaning against the doorway, Alex knocks lightly startling her lover. Seeing Alex caused the offending noise Casey's face softens into a smile.

"Did you find everything you were looking for Counselor?" Casey asks with a smile.

Entering the room and closing the door behind her, Alex answers, "Oh I found it and more." She stares at Casey like a lion looking at its prey as she walks over and turns Casey in her chair to face her. Casey sits frozen in shock as Alex climbs on her straddling her lap. "What are you doing Alex?" Casey questions in a voice laced with desire.

Alex doesn't answer instead she leans in and kisses Casey a kiss that soon becomes passion filled. Breaking the kiss Alex starts to kiss down Casey's neck lightly biting her pulse point which elicits a desire filled moan from Casey's lips. Pulling back Alex runs her hands over Casey's breasts and looks into her eyes before kissing her again. Looking back into Casey's eyes she can see how much she wants her to continue, smirking Alex moves off of her and stands.

"Ready to go?" Alex asks all calm and collected.

Casey shakes her head, "Wha-What? You can't waltz in here and start all of that and then stop."

Alex licks her lips, "I wanted to give you a taste of what is in store for you later tonight. We don't have time right now for everything I want to do. Remember the cake tasting?" Alex taps her watch for emphasis.

Casey shakes her head, "You are so evil." She stands and packs her bag to leave. Looking at Alex as she turns out the light to her office she says, "You owe me big time for that."

Alex grins, "You will be repaid fully I promise." Following after her still flustered red haired fiancé Alex thought, 'It was a really great day, and it is going to be a really good night.'


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Ok, I hope this turns out okay. My friend stopped by while I was writing and well I finished it after having a couple of beers. So if it's awful I blame the Mich Ultra. Enjoy! :)**

Arriving at thecake designer, Alex opened the door for Casey. Letting her lead the way to the counter Alex looked around the store. The cakes on display were amazing. She could only imagine what their cake would end up looking like at their wedding. Seeing Casey talk to the woman behind the counter and the big smile on her face made Alex's heart flutter a little.

Casey turned to Alex, "Okay baby, she told me that we can take a seat anywhere and they will bring us out a couple different tasting trays. After that the designer will come out and talk to us about what we want. How does that sound?" Alex smiles and places a chaste kiss to Casey's lips.

"It sounds perfect babe," Alex says leading Casey to a table. As they sit down an attendant comes over and gives them both a glass of water and both a glass of champagne. Casey smiles, she loves every minute of this wedding planning. Looking up at Alex she says, "I am so excited, I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning."

Alex chuckles softly at the confession. Smiling back Alex's adds, "Me too babe, me too." The store attendant arrives back at the table a moment later with the first tray of cake to taste, explaining to the couple how to easily log what they like the attendant leaves them to it.

Picking up a fork Alex tries one while Casey tries another. "Casey, this one is awesome try it," Alex says fixing a forkful of cake and holding it up for Casey. Having a little fun with Alex Casey seductively takes the fork into her mouth causing Alex's eyes to go wide and her breath to hitch in her throat.

Licking her lips and running her teeth over her bottom lip Casey says, "You are right Alex that was…amazing."

Alex sits dumbly with her eyes fixed on Casey. Casey tries another piece of cake. "This one is good too," Casey begins fixing her fork for Alex, "you try." She holds up her fork to Alex trying to draw her out of her stupor. Alex eying the fork takes it into her mouth, slowly pulling her mouth from it with a light moan at how good the cake tastes.

Casey smirks at Alex somehow they were managing to turn cake tasting into a game of foreplay. As much as she would love to stop for the sake of the cake staff she can't. The attendant brings the second tray and Alex quickly logs what they liked before the first tray is removed.

Shaking her head, Alex whispers, "Stop Casey."

"Stop what?" Casey asks faking shock.

"You know what I mean." Alex whispers again quickly trying another bite of cake.

Casey leans forward and whispers, "I really don't have an idea. Why don't you give me a hint?"

Alex groans as Casey again takes another seductive bite of cake. "Casey stop. Okay, you were right I shouldn't have teased you before, you win. But I can't focus if you keep this up."

Casey bursts out laughing, "Thank you."

The couple continued trying different cakes with a less R rated scene until they had decided exactly what types and flavors they wanted. Finally, the cake designer came over. Sitting down with them he asked, "Okay, ladies what would you like for your cake."

Alex starts, "Well we know we want a three tier cake that's white with a teal ribbon at the base of each layer, decorated with white orchids and pink roses."

Casey smiles and adds "We would like vanilla flavored cake with raspberry filling and fondant icing."

The designer smiles at the couple then says "Well, you two are super easy. You know exactly what you want. I wish all my clients were this easy." Quickly sketching a picture of the soon to be cake he shows Alex and Casey, "So this is what your cake will look like if you like it we will fill out a paper and get an address for delivery and you are done."

"I love it, it looks exactly that I imagined it to." Casey says with a big smile.

"I love it too," Alex agrees.

"Good, if you can come with me I can get the paperwork taken care of and you two can get out of here." He says with a smile.

* * *

Once home, Alex barely had time to lock the door to the apartment before Casey had her pressed firmly against it in a heated kiss. Running her hands roughly over Alex body and pulling her leg up around her waist Casey pushed her harder into the door. Kissing down Alex's jawline to her ear Casey whispered hotly in her ear, "I want you Alexandra."

Alex swallowed thickly. She knew teasing Casey earlier would produce a wild night, but she didn't quite imagine this. Snaking her hand behind Casey's head, Alex pulled her back into a hungry kiss trying to regain some dominance. Moving her kisses down Casey's neck to her pulse point Casey was quickly melting into Alex. Alex grinned as she nipped Casey's neck eliciting a gasp. Removing her leg from Casey's side, Alex swiftly picks Casey up and carries her to the bedroom.

Tossing her down onto the bed, Alex removes her own clothes and then begins to remove Casey's. Casey's green eyes are dark with desire and want as Alex climbs onto the bed to join her. Straddling one of Casey's legs, Alex presses herself against Casey as she kisses her mouth working her way down the red heads neck. Running her hands up Casey's thighs and to her stomach she lightly scrapes her nails up Casey's abdomen eliciting a whimper of want from her lover. "Alex, please don't tease me anymore." Casey pleads.

Alex smirks at Casey knowing exactly what she wants. Looking into Casey's eyes she begins to kiss her way down the red head's body as Casey shivers in anticipation. Alex can only think this will be a long night.

* * *

The next morning Casey reluctantly wakes up. After her and Alex's late night, the last thing she wants to do is get out of bed and go to work. She would much rather spend the day catching up on sleep. Climbing out of the bed and walking into the bathroom the red head catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She is covered in little bruises from their passion filled night. At least she doesn't think that any will be noticeable when she is dressed for work. She chuckles to herself thinking that she not only has a passionate lover but a thoughtful one.

Alex wakes up to the sound of the shower running. Groaning she gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen. This might just be the one and only morning of her life that she actually wants a cup of the Casey Power Brew without cream and sugar, today she needs the full power effect. Alex decided yesterday to spend today at the barn and help with morning riding lessons but right now she just wants to crawl back into bed. Not a good way to semi-start a new job.

Hearing Casey walk into the room Alex turns around and laughs. "Oh, Casey babe, you look like I feel." Alex says with a chuckle in her voice taking in the sight of her wet haired bathrobe clad girlfriend.

"Yeah, well you look pretty worn out yourself hot shot," Casey answers placing a kiss to Alex's lips before pouring a cup of coffee herself.

Alex laughs, "Are we getting so old that all night sexcapades are too much for us to handle, because if so I am really sad about that."

Casey laughs so hard at this statement that spews a mouthful of coffee into the sink. Chuckling she replies, "No Alex, I don't think 28 and 30 make us too old for all night, as you put it, sexcapades. However, I think all night sexcapades on a work night is what bit us in the collective ass."

Alex leans in and kisses Casey again, "Okay that makes me much happier then. I would hate for our honeymoon to be sexcapades-less."

"I love your made up words. I have to go finish getting ready. Are you getting ready?" Casey asks walking into the living room.

"Yeah babe, I will be right there." Alex calls back before quickly fixing the yogurt for them to enjoy after getting ready. Heading back to the bedroom she shakes her head thinking it is going to be a long day.

* * *

Around lunch time, Alex finds herself working with a sixteen year old girl. She can't say that she isn't enjoying helping the girl master her jumps, but at the same time she keeps wondering what kind of case Casey is working on. Yesterday she had the brief luxury of looking over Casey's cases and she keeps thinking about how she would approach them, what her opening statement would be, in what order she would present evidence and call witnesses. Alex finds herself becoming more and more flustered as she can't get her mind out of the imaginary court room in her head. Calling the lesson she goes over what things the girl needs to work on and how she can make little changes to help improve. Heading back into the stables she tells the manager that she is going to head home for the day she is a little tired.

Climbing back into her Volvo Alex lets out a sigh of relief. Driving back home she keeps thinking about what Casey is doing at the office. Finally pulling into the parking garage she runs up to the apartment and gets cleaned up. Redressed she heads back to her car and drives to the DA's office it's 2pm, and she knows if she hurries she might be able to catch Casey before her 3pm motions hearing.

Arriving at the office she runs right in and makes it to Casey's office door by 2:30. Knocking on the door Casey looks up to see a very professional looking Alex Cabot. Her jaw drops a little. She hasn't seen Alex dressed like this since before her shooting. She is dressed in a black business suit with a white shell under her jacket and her black glasses and heels. She looks amazing like old work Alex. Casey doesn't know what to say she just sits speechless.

"Hi," Alex begins, "Okay, Casey you aren't saying anything and now I am nervous."

Closing her mouth Casey tries to find her words but can't figure out exactly what to say. Finally she stands and walks over to Alex and takes her hands, "You just look like you belong down the hall again Alex. You know in your old office, it's like a flashback for me. I don't know what to say I am sorry."

Alex smiles knowing what Casey means. Kissing Casey's cheek Alex replies, "Don't worry babe, I know what you mean. I got bored at the barn, I couldn't stop thinking about what you were working on, so when I was on my way home for the day I thought I might come offer you a hand while you go to handle your motions. Maybe you can get out a little early that way and we can work on our wedding music over a nice dinner."

"I like that idea. Okay, well I was just getting ready to head over to Judge Donnelly's office. If you want to look over these four cases then we should be able to head home around 5 maybe 5:30."

"Okay, consider it done. Tell Liz I say hi and expect her at the wedding." Alex says sitting down in Casey's seat with a smile.

As Casey wave's bye and walks down the hall she smiles. Alex wants to come back and Casey knows it, she just wonders how long it will take Alex to realize it. In the meantime though Casey will happily accept the free help especially if it's provided by her fiancé.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Almost to the wedding!**

Sitting at the restaurant that evening Casey observes Alex's behavior. She notices how the blonde keeps talking about her cases questioning Casey about how she plans to handle evidence and witnesses and areas where she might want to have the detectives look for more evidence. If it was any other prosecutor Casey would be annoyed and probably have ripped their head off by now for questioning her every move, but not Alex. Alex can ask her any question she wants and Casey will happily answer her. God, she is insanely in love with this woman.

"I am sorry Casey, am I annoying you? I really don't know what has gotten into me." Alex says when she notices Casey has a glazed expression on her face.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Casey smiles at Alex, "No baby, you aren't annoying me at all. I was just thinking of how in love with you I am. Honestly, I am happy to hear you talking about law again. Plus, might I add again how hot you look in your suit."

Chuckling Alex shakes her head, "Its crazy isn't it."

"Your outfit? What do you mean?"

Smiling Alex restarts, "Me, I seem a little crazy. I say I want to teach horseback riding now, but after one day hanging out with you in the office I can't get my mind away from prosecuting. Then I spend all day thinking about your cases and now I am rambling on and on about it. What am I doing Casey?"

"Alex, cut yourself some slack. If you want to retry prosecuting I will gladly support you, but if you want to keep teaching horseback riding I support that too. Hell, if you want to do both I am cool. Ultimately Alex, all you need to know about me is that I support you in whatever you want to do. Why not before we get married you just try both, go back and forth between them see what you like then decide after the honeymoon what you want to do." Casey says taking Alex's hand across the table in support.

Smiling at her beautiful fiancé, Alex says, "Thank you Casey for being so supportive always, you really are my rock you know that."

Casey smirks, "Your rock? I was sure I was the wind beneath your wings." This statement causes both women to start laughing. After a minute they pull themselves together as their meal arrives.

"Okay, so wedding reception music. I would like a band."

Casey purses her lips clearly thinking, "I like it, but do we have enough time to find one?"

"Sure, I don't see why not." Alex replies taking a bite of her salmon. "God Casey this is great try it," Alex says holding up a forkful.

Casey raises an eyebrow, "You aren't trying to seduce me again are you, because I need a night off." Alex bursts out laughing at this comment shaking her head no. She proceeds to laugh so hard though that she makes a squeaking noise trying to suck air back into her lungs. Casey takes the bite before Alex drops the fork on the table. "Yes, you are right that is delicious. We should serve that at our wedding."

Pulling herself together, Alex asks, "Really…you want to?"

"Yeah, why not? It's a beach wedding its salmon it fits."

Smiling wide Alex calls a waiter over, "My fiancé and I are getting married and we love this salmon dish, does your restaurant cater?"

The waiter replies, "I don't know ma'am but I would be happy to go ask the chef for you if you'd like?"

"Yes, please that would be fantastic!" Alex finishes looking at Casey with a wide grin. Changing the subject back to music Alex asks, "So what type of music do you want at the reception?"

"Well, we already have our first dance song picked out, and I know I want to walk down the aisle to Claire de Lune, and we want to walk away from the wedding to what?"

"Hmm," Alex taps her glasses against her hand while lounging back in her chair while thinking, "how about All You Need is Love?"

"I love it!" Casey says rather loudly before planting a kiss on Alex's lips. Breaking the kiss the redhead adds, "This whole wedding planning thing is so easy, why does everyone stress?"

Alex laughs heartily, "Babe, you do realize we are just doing the fun parts right? I mean we literally thrust the bitch parts on our mothers."

"Well, can you blame us? They were so over eager to help, and I needed to keep you sane."

"Thank you babe."

"Your welcome. I am just always looking out for you baby." Casey says with a grin before taking another bite of her steak.

Softly chuckling Alex questions, "Are you sure it isn't maybe also a little because you weren't so psyched on having to order and run the whole show?"

"Am I under oath?"

Alex smirks, "Always Counselor as an officer of the court."

"Okay, then yes. I was more than happy to allow our overzealous mothers handle all the mundane stuff."

Alex points a finger at Casey and says, "I knew it," before she bursts out laughing.

Suddenly the head chef walks over to the table and addresses Alex, "Hello, my name is Leo, I am the head chef here. Ms. Cabot I hear you two are getting married and are interested in my restaurant catering."

Alex looks at Casey and smiles, "Yes, we are very interested specifically in the salmon dish I had tonight."

"Well, we will gladly cater for your reception. I wrote out a couple sample menus for you along with prices and my direct number. Please call me when you know what you both would like to do." Leo says handing Alex the menu before nodding and heading back into the kitchen.

Casey smiles at Alex, "One more thing taken care of!"

"You got that right."

Swallowing another bite of food Casey continues, "Now back to music, so our first dance is going to be These Are the Days, what will the rest of the music be?"

"Dancing type music obviously, but I would like more romantic themed music."

"Okay, I agree. By the way, I would like to dance alone one last time before we leave the reception."

"Okay, do you know what song?"

"No." Casey's answer is simple but elicits a laugh from Alex nonetheless. Alex takes a breath to steady herself, "No worries, we will figure it out together babe."

Placing her fork down on her plate Casey smiles at her blonde lover, "Let's go home and snuggle up on the couch or in bed and watch a movie."

"We can do that," Alex says observing her fiancé, "Are you okay Casey? You are kind of giving me a soul searching stare."

"I am perfect Alexandra. It's just really nice to see you looking like this right now. You look like you did the day I first saw you. It's like I have my own little time machine right now. So I just want to go home and hold you so I can savor every minute of today." Casey says with a small smile on her face.

"Sounds perfect, lets pay and we can go home."

* * *

Snuggled together in bed that night Casey lay with her head on Alex's shoulder where she could easily tuck it into the crook of her arm when the movie got too violent for her liking. "Geez Alex, I know you wanted to watch a Jodie Foster movie but did you have to pick this one it's so upsetting." Casey whined. Looking down at Casey, Alex smirked at her red headed lover.

"Casey seriously this is scaring you? You deal with rape and murder daily." Alex questions.

"Yeah, but not in our bedroom. Couldn't we have just watched Silence of the Lambs?"

"Oh my God Casey, that is so much scarier than The Brave One!"

"Yeah, but it's about a profiler and you know I always love the idea of wearing Kevlar." Casey says with a smile to Alex.

"You'd look hot in Kevlar babe, but I don't think Jodie Foster wears Kevlar in Silence of the Lambs." Alex says placing a kiss to Casey's lips.

"Hmm, thanks maybe I will be a profiler for Halloween. Really, maybe I am thinking of Hannibal."

Alex laughs, "I love it, but what will I be?"

"Duh, a beautiful blonde goddess."

Both women erupt in laughter. "Hey wait, what is that song?" Alex asks backing up the DVD and turning up the TV as the credits roll on the movie.

"Wow baby, good ear." Casey says laying her head down on Alex to listen to the love song. Holding Alex's hand to her chest she feels as if the song had been written for them.

As the song ends Alex rewinds the DVD to listen to the song again. Casey pushes up to look into Alex's grey blue eyes this time as the song plays. Pushing Alex's hair out of her face she runs her hand down the side of her lovers face.

Alex watches her fiancé intensely as the song repeats the lyrics.

_I will be the answer  
At the end of the line  
I will be there for you  
While you take the time  
In the burning of uncertainty  
I will be your solid ground  
I will hold the balance  
If you can't look down_

_If it takes my whole life  
I won't break, I won't bend  
It will all be worth it  
Worth it in the end  
Cause I can only tell you what I know  
That I need you in my life  
When the stars have all gone out  
You'll still be burning so bright_

Staring into Casey's deep green eyes, Alex whispers, "Casey, this is the song. I want this to be our last dance song."

"Me too Alex," Casey says pressing a chaste kiss to Alex's lips, "me too baby."

Lying back down on Alex Casey picks up her phone and looks up the song. It was Answer by Sarah McLachlan. She quickly purchases it and adds it to their wedding playlist. "We got it baby."

Running her fingers through Casey's silky red hair Alex hums in approval just enjoying the moment. Everything was falling into place for her and Casey. Life was really starting to feel perfect.

"We should get some sleep baby," Casey says with a yawn.

Copying her yawn Alex agrees as she turns out the light. Pressing a quick kiss to Casey's lips and mumbling an "I love you" the couple snuggles into one another and falls into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

**One week before the wedding.**

Driving back from the stables in the rain Alex argued with her mother over the car speakers. She was furious that her mother and Charlotte were refusing to accept her and Casey's wishes. Taking a breath to put on her best ADA voice or as Kim called it the Ice Queen tone Alex began, "Listen Mother, Casey and I are not little girls we can make our own decisions and we do not want to spend the night before the wedding apart. We can part ways the morning of but we want to be together every night."

"Alexandra, get a grip it's one night and it's tradition for the couple to spend the night apart." Charlotte argues with her hard headed daughter.

"Oh my God Mom, give it a rest! I said no! We were apart for a year and a half that was enough separation okay. Plus we don't care about some myth. We probably won't care about sleeping apart here and there a year from now, but right now no. So lay off. If we were apart neither of us would be able to sleep well and I would much rather be well rested for the most important day of my life." Alex finishes with a sigh.

"Okay Alexandra. I have to go now and finish ensuring the flowers are going to arrive on time. When do you and Casey expect to arrive?" Charlotte asks with an aggravated tone to her voice.

"We are planning on driving up Wednesday morning." Alex adds quickly trying to end the calls so she can focus more on the road.

"Sounds good honey. Well I have to go, drive carefully and I love you." Charlotte says sweeting up a little.

Alex smiles a little hearing her mother soften, "Thanks mom, I will. I love you too."

Disconnecting the call Alex sighs. Hopefully that is the most stress she encounters before the wedding. She just can't understand why her mother and Caroline can't just let it go. They have been bringing up this pre-wedding night separation nonsense for the last week. It was really getting on Casey and Alex's nerves.

Turning the windshield wiper speed up Alex slows her speed a little. This monsoon seemed to come out of nowhere and Alex was suddenly very happy that they'd bought an SUV. Maybe she should pick Casey up from work, the sedan might be better off in the DA's garage versus driving in this mess.

Quickly pressing a button on her phone she calls Casey. After a few rings Casey's voice fills the car, "Hey Baby, you driving through this storm too?"

"Oh no babe, you are already out in it. I was hoping to catch you before you left the office so I could pick you up." Alex replies worry evident in her voice.

Casey chuckles lightly, "Aw, you were trying to be my knight in shining armor. Well, don't worry baby I am almost home. I will order dinner for us when I get there and with any luck it will be to the apartment by the time you get home."

"Sounds good babe, drive carefully. I love you." Alex says.

"I love you too, see you soon." Casey finishes. Disconnecting the call Casey sighed. With how nasty the weather was expected to be this weekend she wished she and Alex had just gone to the lake house. At least there they could cuddle by the fire place while it poured or snuggled on the porch swing instead of being secluded in their apartment. She smiled to herself thinking there were plenty of ways they could probably spice up the weekend.

Pulling into the parking garage Casey lets out a sigh of relief that it hasn't flooded and that she has arrived safely. Parking her car she says a quick prayer for Alex to arrive home just as safe before climbing out of the car and heading to her apartment. Walking in their home she tosses her keys onto the hall table and pulls out her phone.

Quickly ordering up some Chinese she heads to take a warm shower. Once she finishes she ties her hair up in a ponytail and puts on a pair of yoga pants and pulls on Alex's sweat shirt she wore the day before. Breathing in the scent of her soon to be wife Casey plops down on the couch to wait for their dinner.

Turning on the news she is met with the traffic report where it shows a silver Volvo SUV that looks just like Alex's involved in an accident on the highway Alex drives to come home. Not able to tell if it's their SUV or not Casey grabs her phone and frantically starts calling Alex while checking the time on the living room clock. Her mind is running a million miles a minute while the phone goes straight to voicemail. Realizing Alex should be home any minute she calls again, but again it goes to voicemail.

Starting to panic Casey jumps up from the couch to retrieve a pair of shoes, not thinking clearly she decides she is going to head back out and look for Alex. Putting her sneakers on Casey heads to the door and grabs her keys. Opening the door she runs right into Alex whose arms are full of Chinese food.

"Hey babe, thanks for getting the door for me." Alex says with a smile.

Looking at her blonde fiancé, Casey bursts into tears much to Alex's shock. "Oh my God Casey what is wrong?" Alex asks fully concerned setting the food down on the ground and taking the now sobbing redhead into her arms.

Casey completely unable to answer lets Alex pick her up and carry her to the couch where Alex sees the news report and puts two and two together. "Oh Casey, I am ok. I am right here everything is fine. Why didn't you call me?"

Finally gaining the ability to talk Casey shakily says "I did twice."

Alex puts her hand into her jacket pocket when she realizes she left her phone in the car on the charger. "Shit Casey, I forgot my phone in the car, you must have called me when I was getting the Chinese food from the delivery guy." Holding her soon to be wife tighter Alex whispers in her ear, "everything is ok. I am so sorry you were scared but I am fine and I will hold you until you feel better."

Taking a shaky breath Casey snuggles deep into Alex's embrace. Finally she manages to say, "I was so afraid you'd been hurt and that this time you really would be gone. Ugh, I am so happy I just overreacted."

"Casey if it had been me at home and I saw something like that but it was your car I would have reacted the same way." Alex says kissing Casey's head.

Listening to Alex's heartbeat helped to soothe Casey's nerves as she pressed harder against her lover. She felt like she was trying to become one with her in a way. The thought of her being hurt had literally taken everything out of her.

"Casey babe, I need to go pick up the food and lock up. Do you want to eat, or would you rather me put it in the kitchen and come back?" Alex asked.

"Can you just come back?" Casey hesitantly asks.

"Yeah, no problem, I will be right back."

Standing Alex quickly picks up the food and closes and locks the door. Setting the food on the kitchen counter she walks back into the living room. Reaching the couch she sits down and wraps Casey back into her arms.

"How was your day?" Casey hesitantly asks.

"Good, if you don't count my mom calling me to try and convince me why we need to be apart the night before the wedding again." Alex sighs.

Alex pushes up a little, "Yours too! My mom called me this morning to have the same talk. What is their problem?"

"I have no idea. My dad could care less. I guess old traditions die hard. I just don't see what it matters if I want to sleep with my beautiful wife to be the night before our wedding."

"Me either. Maybe it's they don't want us to have sex the morning of the wedding just after." Alex says with a grin.

Casey lets her head fall on Alex's chest with a small laugh, "I hope our parents don't think about our sex life enough for that to be there reason."

"Nah, I am sure it's just tradition. I am just teasing you." Alex says kissing Casey's head.

Shaking her head Casey replies, "You love to pick on me, but I love you anyway. I feel better now, you ready for dinner?"

"I am starved let's eat!" Alex answers jumping up.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: A little pre-wedding fun.**

**Wednesday Morning…**

Alex and Casey were all packed for the wedding and headed towards the beach house. Looking into the back of the SUV Alex laughs. They have the back seats folded down and their luggage spread out with Casey's wedding dress delicately laid out on top. The dress is unable to be seen through the bag it is carefully wrapped in Alex wanted to sneak a peek earlier when loading it at the bridal shop but quickly had her hand slapped away from the bag by Casey.

"Are you laughing at my awesome packing job?" Casey asks with a smirk while watching the road.

Alex grins wide, "Of course I am babe!"

"I can't believe we are getting married in four days!" Casey exclaims.

With a big smile on her face Alex replies, "Me either babe. I can't believe life has given us so much."

"Me either." Casey says with a smile, "So do you have your vows written yet?"

"Of course I do! I have had them done for at least two weeks now." Alex says turning to look at Casey, "Have you written yours yet?"

Casey bites her bottom lip while grinning as a light blush appears on her cheeks, "Yes, it's completed as much as any closing statement of mine."

"You are going to wing it! Casey..." Alex says shaking her head.

"I have never just winged a closing statement. I always have them artfully outlined and then I figure out the wording as I give it. My method hasn't failed me yet."

Alex frowns, "So you are going to play your game of Russian roulette on our wedding day?"

Casey smirks, "I think my conviction rate speaks for my ability to wing it just fine."

"Casey!" Alex exclaims throwing her hands in the air for emphasis.

Bursting out laughing, Casey finally admits, "Alex I am just screwing with you, I finished them last night while you were in the bathtub."

Alex scowls at her soon to be wife, "You are evil Casey Diane Novak."

"Yeah, but I am all yours Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot. Now kiss me!" Casey says pointing to her cheek.

Alex grins and leans in and kisses the redheads cheek. Whispering in her ear she adds, "I can't wait to be your wife."

The rest of the drive continues in easy conversation. As the couple pulls up to the beach house they were amazed to find Charlotte and Caroline outside covered in black soil and arms deep in planters. Climbing out of the car the couple observes the state of their mothers as James Novak exits the house to greet them.

"What are you two doing," Casey asks as her father walks up and gives her a hug.

"Exactly what it looks like Casey, we are planting flowers." Caroline says looking at her daughter like she was crazy for not already knowing the answer.

Alex laughs a little before seeing Casey's glare. Quickly she adds, "I think what my beautiful fiancé was trying to ask is why you are replanting?"

Charlotte gets up and hugs the two women, "I thought blue and pink hydrangeas would be much prettier. Plus we want the house to be perfect for the wedding day."

Caroline finishes her planter and stands and hugs Casey, "Sorry if I was short dear. I am just worn out. This one," she adds pointing to Charlotte, "has been working me to death this last week!"

Charlotte gasps holding her hand to her heart, "I can't believe you would say such things Caroline. We had tons of fun!"

"Your right Char we did, especially painting the deck over wine at night." Caroline admits laughing.

Alex looks at her mother in disbelief, "You painted the deck?"

Caroline laughs and corrects herself, "More like badly attempted to paint it. The painters came Monday and fixed our mishap. Charlotte here couldn't get them to come any sooner with the rain. So we just got the furniture put back outside."

Casey and Alex look at each other and then to their mothers before bursting out laughing. Alex calming her laughing after a minute wraps her arms around her mother and kisses her on the cheek, "Thank you Mom for everything."

"Anything for you honey." Charlotte says kissing her daughter back.

James smiles at the four women before kissing his daughter's head. "Just think Casey of all the stories you and Alex will be able to share with your children one day."

"I can hardly wait Dad." Casey says nuzzling into her father's side.

* * *

Later that evening Alex sat outside on the deck looking at the stars and listening to the waves. Dinner with her mother, soon to be wife and in-laws had been warm and filled with laughter and excitement. It was nice to see her family so comfortable with each other. She just wished her father could have been here to enjoy the moment.

Hearing the door open Alex turns her head to see James step out. "May I join you Alexandra?"

Smiling at him Alex nods. "You are always welcome to join me."

Taking a seat next to Alex, he looked the blonde over. "I saw you sitting out here clearly lost in thought. You seemed like you could use a little guidance. Anything you would like to talk about?"

"I see where Casey gets her skills of observation from." Alex says taking a sip of her tea, "I was just thinking it would have been nice if my Dad could have been here too."

James looked towards the sea. He knew Alex's pain having lost his own parents at an earlier age, but it didn't make it any easier. "I am sure he would be so proud of you. You know my mother died a year before Casey was born. I remember holding her in my arms after Caroline had her and thinking how much she would have loved to meet her..." Pausing to regain composure he says, "Just remember he has a hand in everything beautiful that happens in your life. Who knows maybe he was responsible for you tackling my daughter in that hallway."

Laughing lightly Alex looks up at her soon to be father in law. Taking his hand in hers she says, "Thank you James. I would really like to think he was responsible for that and your words really give me something to hold close."

James kissing Alex's hand and stands to leave her to her thoughts. Alex smiles as he re-enters the house. Listening to the waves she feels at peace, knowing that her father really knew how alone she was and desperately wanted to feel love. She had no doubt suddenly that more than likely he led Casey straight to her.

Hearing the door open again Alex turns to see Casey walking towards her. The redhead climbs into her lovers lap. Resting her head on Alex's shoulder Casey asks, "Feeling better?"

"Yes thanks to your dads kind words I am feeling wonderful." Alex replies with a sincere smile.

Kissing Alex softly Casey whispers "Good." Holding onto each other the couple watched the night sky.

* * *

**Day before the wedding...**

"Alex! Where is my sister?" Morgan yells up the stairs to Alex who is on the landing outside of Casey and her room.

"Morgan," Alex begins calmly, "Casey is just looking for her flip flops she will be down in a minute.

"Well tell her Kim is pissed that she is not in the car yet and says she is making us all late for our nail appointments." Morgan replies with a scowl as Alex icily frowns right back at her. Alex shakes her head and turns to walk back into the room running right into Casey.

Smiling at her bride Alex takes her hand and leads her back into the room. "What are we doing wasn't that Morgan yelling for me?" Casey asks.

"Yep, it sure was and she and your bridesmaids are being a little bitchy in my opinion about how long it is taking you to get ready. Seeing as you are the bride I don't think they should rush you so much." Alex says with a smirk.

Casey rolls her eyes at this information, "God forbid they have to wait a minute."

"Exactly my thought, so now they can wait a little longer because I want to kiss my bride." Alex says, taking Casey's lips in her own. The kiss was passionate and full of want. Breaking it Casey whispers, "I can't wait till tomorrow night. This whole not having sex thing is about to kill me. I wanted to take you on the breakfast table this morning when you bent over to pick up your spoon."

Alex laughs recapturing Casey's lips and pressing her into the wall. Running her hands down Casey's sides she reaches the hem of Casey's shirt and starts to slide her hands under it while kissing down Casey's jaw and towards her neck. As she reaches Casey's breasts the door to the bedroom opens and Alex pushes off Casey as Morgan slaps her hands over her eyes.

"Oh my God!" Morgan yells turning away, "lock the door next time! Casey we are late do you think you two could not hold us up any longer?"

"I am ready to go now." Casey says pecking Alex on the lips. Whispering in Alex's ear she adds, "You can have the rest tomorrow."

Alex grins as Morgan cringes again, "I heard that. Do you want me to drown myself in the water?"

Alex laughs, "If I remember correctly Morgan I do believe I overheard you and David last night..."

"You didn't hear one thing and you know it Cabot!" Morgan exclaims turning beat red.

Alex smiles and says, "Or did I when I went downstairs to get a glass of water?" She begins to laugh seeing Morgan turn the color of Casey's hair as they walk out of the room.

"Okay you two, I don't need to hear more!" Casey says ending this battle as they walk downstairs. Reaching the bottom of the stairs they are greeted by Abbie and a not so happy looking Kim.

"Are you two finally ready to go? Everyone has been waiting on you." Kim huffs while tapping her flip-flop clad foot.

Kissing Casey one more time Alex says, "We sure are!"

Abbie nudges Kim and says "Good because I am ready for my foot washing." Kim rolls her eyes dramatically and starts walking to the door mumbling, "I can't believe I agreed to marry her."

"You love me and you know it!" Abbie calls after her fiancé following her to the door.

Alex smiles as they all head out to the cars. Today was going to be a lot of fun with all the pre-wedding prepping and the rehearsal tonight, but she could not wait for tomorrow to come. Tomorrow would be amazing because she was going to marry the love of her life.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Going to the chapel…or the beach…gonna get married.**

**Rehearsal Dinner…**

Casey stood on the deck of the beach house looking down on the new make shift decking that Charlotte had arranged to hold the dinner tables for the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception along with the dance floor for the reception. Everything had been setup while Alex and Casey were out today with their friends getting pedicures, manicures and massages. All in all, it was a very relaxing day for Alex and Casey and a very stressful day for their mothers. Needless to say, their mothers had done a spectacular job everything looked beautiful.

Currently the spot they'd decided to actually hold the wedding on the beach just had chairs setup and the driftwood arch that they would be married under. Tomorrow those would be accented with fabric matching their colors and flowers. However, just an hour earlier it worked perfectly for their rehearsal wedding.

Standing now waiting for the rehearsal dinner to start Casey was getting a sneak peek at what their wedding reception would look like. The main deck of their beach house held the make shift bar and the already present table and Adirondacks. The make shift deck below held just enough round tables to seat the wedding party and guests on one side and the dance floor on the other side and Charlotte and her mother had lantern lights strung from the deck over the tables and dance floor. It all looked so magical. She and Alex owed their parents a vacation for all their work they had done to make this so special.

Suddenly Casey felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her waist and a kiss placed on her neck. "Hey beautiful," Casey says to her bride to be. Turning in Alex's arms Casey takes in just how beautiful Alex looks again. "Have I told you lately how stunning you look in that dress?" Casey asks.

"Umm, about every time you have me alone since I put it on tonight." Alex begins, "Plus, you have made a few R rated comments about the V-shaped neck line. By the way, have I told you how insanely hot you look?"

"Yes, you have with a few comments about how you'd like to rip this dress off of me. One of which almost turned our wedding into a funeral for Elliot instead."

Laughing at the memory Alex says, "Yeah, I don't think Kathy found that nearly as funny as we did."

Kissing Alex softly Casey whispers, "I am so happy to be marrying you tomorrow."

"I am ecstatic about marrying you Casey. I couldn't ask for a better wife." Alex says kissing her back.

"Hey lovebirds!" Morgan calls from one of the tables that their rehearsal dinner guests are starting to sit at, "Do you think you could hurry it up and sit down already we are ready to eat!"

All the guests seem to laugh at Morgan's rowdy outburst while Caroline shakes her head in disapproval. Elliot chimes in the fun, "Yeah, we would like dinner to progress a little faster than it takes Novak to get a warrant."

"Hey! Bring me something substantial Stabler and things tend to move a little faster." Casey calls back from Alex's arms.

"We bring you plenty!" Olivia calls out as Serena ducks her head trying to dodge the line of verbal fire that is probably going to break out soon. "Sure do!" Munch and Fin yell at the same time.

Alex takes Casey's hand and starts to walk down the steps. Giving the detectives a shake of the head and an icy glare she begins, "Casey and I would like to thank all of you for coming this weekend to celebrate our wedding tomorrow. We love you all because you are either family or like family to us and we wouldn't want to share this happy moment in our lives without you by our sides. So again, thank you for coming. Now as my over eager soon to be sister and law has so kindly pointed out dinner is ready so let's eat. However, I would like to quickly say Detectives, we ADA's can't do your jobs too!" As she finishes she sticks her tongue out at the detectives who all erupt in laughter from her playful banter.

Dinner is easily enjoyed as it is a very relaxed setting amongst friends. The night is filled with love and laughter as everyone celebrates. Before the night ends, the couple makes a stop off at every table to thank their guests for coming and for being a special part of their lives.

While saying goodbye to guests Alex is pulled aside by Judge Donnelly and District Attorney Branch. "Alex, we would like to talk to you for a moment in private if it is at all possible," Liz asks. Alex looks over in Casey's direction and sees her enthusiastically talking to the lively Serena and clearly buzzed Liv, turning back to Liz and Arthur she replies, "Sure, let's have a seat out on the back deck."

James Novak watches as his soon to be daughter in law follows her former boss and mentor outside. Looking back at his daughter he shakes his head as he smiles. He knew Casey was right in the end to give Alex her time to heal, but he underestimated how quickly she would rebound to her old self. Clearly all she needed was Casey's love and support and that made him very happy because the one thing Casey needed was Alex and that had been clear from the moment she'd met the blonde.

* * *

**Wedding Day!**

The morning of the wedding Alex awoke to the sun shining in the windows. She and Casey had gone to bed early exhausted from the day and she now lay snuggled in her beautiful bride's arms. Quietly reaching for her phone Alex grabs it and quickly snaps a picture of her smiling on a sleeping Casey. Casey always loves to take pictures of every moment of their lives, so now she will have this one from the morning of their wedding.

Pushing up Alex leans over and kisses Casey. "Good morning beautiful." Alex whispers as she continues to kiss down Casey's neck.

"Good morning to you too." Casey says rather breathlessly for having just woken up. Starting to feel revved up Casey begs, "Alex please stop or we will blow our pack to wait until tonight."

"Oh, will we now?" Alex says as she lightly bites Casey's shoulder.

"Ah, no marking me where it can be seen!" Casey shrieks as she pulls away from a now laughing Alex.

Quirking an eyebrow Alex asks, "So your dress is strapless is it?"

Frowning Casey replies, "Now I know why couples are supposed to spend the night apart. You are evil Cabot."

"And you love me for it."

Smiling Casey kisses Alex, "Yes I do." Kissing her once more she adds, "And I can hardly wait to call you my wife tonight!"

"Well," Alex says climbing out of bed, "Let's get this show on the road."

* * *

The whole day seemed like a blur to Casey as she stood in front of the mirror looking at herself in the wedding dress. She and Alex parted ways the moment they walked downstairs this morning and from there it was as if someone had pressed fast forward to her day. She could barely remember having her hair done or any conversation. But now here she stood in front of the mirror taking in her appearance overly aware of everything. In about thirty minutes she would walk down the beach to be reunited with Alex, but this time it would literally be for the rest of their lives. She was so excited she wanted to cry.

"Don't do it Red." Olivia called from the couch.

"I am not going to I promise." Casey responded.

Kim who had been obsessed with texting Abbie all day, suddenly tuned in from 'planet Abbie Kim' as Olivia had nicknamed it to ask, "What? What is she not supposed to do?"

"You are the worst maid of honor!" Olivia teases with a smile.

Kim scowls, "Leave me alone, it's a wedding it's making me excited. But seriously what is Red Hot not supposed to do?"

"Cry." Casey says with tears running down her cheeks.

"No!" Olivia and Kim yell as they jump from the couch grabbing tissues and a magazine to fan Casey's face with so hopefully she would not ruin all of her makeup.

"I am sorry, I am just so freaking happy. I can't help myself."

"I know but seriously it took us forever to do your makeup and I really don't want to have to redo it so stop. Seriously stop right now or I am going to hit you and give you something to cry about." Kim says is a deadly serious tone.

Olivia shakes her head, "Damn, I never get to be bad cop, even when Elliot isn't around."

This statement makes Casey laugh. Shaking her head and grabbing onto Olivia for support she thanks her friends for helping her pull it together. Now, it would only be a little while longer till she walks down the aisle hopefully she could keep it together.

* * *

Meanwhile, Alex stood at the windows of the beach house looking out at where her wedding would take place. She would be walking outside any minute to stand at the arch and wait for her bride. She could hardly breathe she was so nervous.

"Here," Elliot said handing her a glass of whiskey.

"Thanks," Alex replies taking the glass, "Abbie gave me a beer a bit ago, but it was no help."

Laughing Elliot adds, "Yeah, beer isn't strong enough for the nerves for this moment in life. I remember how much of a wreck I was on my wedding day. The only thing that helped was a flask."

Alex nods, "Thank you Elliot for everything."

"Anytime Alex, I love you and Casey like sisters. I'd do anything for you two you know that right?" he adds wrapping an arm around Alex's shoulder.

"I sure do, thank you. I couldn't have a better best man." She adds as she watches Abbie open the door to the house from the porch.

"Okay, we need to head down now they are ready for us." Abbie says excitedly.

Quickly finishing her drink, Alex and Elliot follow Abbie outside and take their places at the front of the ceremony. Standing at the front of the wedding under the arch Alex watches Olivia walk down the aisle, then Kim. Their dresses are pretty gray strapless dresses that are knee high with teal sashes and they are barefoot. Alex smiles she can't wait to see what Casey is wearing.

Hearing Casey's favorite Claire de Lune, Alex see's Casey and her dad make their way down the aisle. Casey looks so beautiful Alex practically can't breathe. Her hair was down and in loose curls, her makeup was simple yet perfectly done, and her dress was breath-taking on her. The dress was white with a plunging neck line, but not too low to not be classy. It was A-line, floor length and fit her body perfectly. Plus, she had a matching teal ribbon around her waist. She was gorgeous and Alex was so captivated by her beauty that it took James saying 'Alex, breathe' for her to realize the priest had started the ceremony.

Smiling at Casey, Alex turned to give the priest her attention. Soon James had given Casey away to Alex and they were on to the vows. The priest turns to Alex to start with her vows first.

Taking a breath Alex begins, "Casey, I have known that I love you since I first kissed you, although I think I truly have been in love with you since I first met you, I just didn't know that's what love was until you showed me. From the moment I met you I have wanted to spend every moment of every day with you. Not being with you causes me pain that I don't ever wish to experience again. Like I said when I proposed, without you my life is dark, cold and empty, but you bring an unbelievable warm light to every day and moment I spend with you. I love you Casey Diane Novak with every fiber of my being. I look forward to spending every day with you, having children with you, watching us grow old together. I look forward to everyday of our lives Casey simply because you are in my life. So today Casey I stand here before you to give you all of my heart and to promise to always fill your heart every single day with all of my love, I promise to make sure every day you are happy and that you know you are loved." By the time Alex finished she had tears running down her cheeks that Casey reached up and wiped away.

Casey began her vows next, "I always hate going last, but for you Alexandra I would do anything. I would give you every star in the night sky, or every sunrise if I could but I can't, but what I can give you is my whole heart. You have had it since the first time I saw you standing in the coffee shop. I fell in love in with you in that coffee shop and my love has only grown every day since. Waking up in the morning next to you instantly makes my day the best day, I can't sleep without you Alex, and it is almost impossible for me to breathe without you by my side. I look forward to every moment we will share as we grow old. Good times and bad times I want you by my side throughout all of them. Today I am giving all of myself to you because I want all of you for eternity. I love you Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot and I intend to love you for the rest of all time."

The priest moves on to the rings and then announces they can kiss the bride. Alex pulls Casey close and captures Casey's lips in hers savoring the moment of finally kissing her wife. Breaking the kiss, Alex whispers, "I love you forever Casey." Casey replies with, "I love you always Alex."

The dinner for the reception was fantastic. Leo's salmon was delicious as always and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Moving on to the dancing Alex and Casey prepared to share their first dance.

Hearing the band start to play These are the Days, Alex stood and walked Casey out to the dance floor. Pulling her gorgeous bride close Alex began to slowly dance Casey around the dance floor. "You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen Casey." Alex says.

"Objection Counselor," Casey says with a smirk, "I think you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen." As she finishes she places a chaste kiss to Alex's lips and lays her head on the blonde's shoulder. Holding each other close as they danced, they took in the beautiful words of the song.

The party continued in fashion. The couple getting to visit with everyone and enjoy the company of their friends helped them to all have a wonderful time. Munch caught the garter which of course spurred an enormous round of teasing from the squad, while Serena caught the bouquet which caused Olivia to pale a few shades. All in all, the couple couldn't have asked for a better reception.

Finally the band started playing their final dance song and this time Casey took Alex's hand and led her to the dance floor. Wrapping her arms around Alex, Casey just took to swaying to this song unlike the rest. To their surprise, as the band started to sing the songs the lantern lights overhead started to dim until the lights above them were the only one's lit. Looking into Alex's blue eyes Casey whispers, "I love you. Thank you for coming home to me." Smiling at her bride's words Alex says, "Casey home is only where you are. I will always love you." Finishing she kisses Casey as the song ends. With that their friends cheer them on as they head out front to the limo.

* * *

Arriving in their hotel room, Alex turns to Casey, "We only have five hours till we have to leave for the airport. I say screw sleeping and well let's just screw."

"Okay," Casey says capturing Alex's lips in a heated kiss, "By the way remind me later to make fun of you for that statement." Nodding Alex unzips Casey's dress and helps slip it from her shoulders immediately revealing Casey's blue lace underwear.

"Wow, Casey" is all Alex can say while she admires the redhead. Casey quickly removes Alex's jumpsuit taking in Alex's braless torso and white lace underwear before pushing her onto the bed and climbing on top. Kissing Alex passionately she begins to move her kisses downwards but pauses at Alex's pulse point, to huskily ask, "What do you want Alex?"

"You," Alex answers shakily.

"Where?" Casey asks biting and kissing Alex's neck as she runs her hands up and down the blondes body.

Letting out a soft moan Alex arches into Casey, the sensations are driving her wild and she needs much more to satisfy her. Moving to Alex's nipple Casey asks again breathing over the stiff bud as she speaks, "I asked where?"

"E-Everywhere," Alex finally manages.

Casey smiles as she takes the nipple in her mouth and runs her hand to Alex's wet center causing another round of erotic sounds to escape her lover. She really won't be getting any sleep till they are on the plane. Come to think of it hopefully she won't get much sleep at all for the next two weeks.

**A/N: Next chapter is the last chapter in this story. I have been toying with the idea of writing a prequel sometime in the future. If interested let me know.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Last Chapter.**

**Honeymoon…**

Casey sat on the porch of their Australian island hotel room. She was enjoying a cup of Casey Power Brew this early evening while Alex napped after an afternoon of love making. They would be starting their journey home tomorrow late evening and it was a sad thought for Casey.

This trip had been amazing. They started in Sydney and worked their way up the east coast of Australia enjoying so much of the wondrous beauty of this country. Both Casey and Alex had traveled during their lives to Europe and such places, but nothing remotely came close to Australia. From the giant fruit bats that liked to fly through Sydney's night skies, to the wild Dingo's of the magical Fraser Island nothing compared.

Casey smiled remembering how unfunny the Australian natives on Fraser Island found her slightly tipsy exclamation of 'The Dingo's gonna get your baby!' when a wild Dingo wandered onto the pool deck next to a small child while the parents weren't supervising. Granted Alex's mortified look at her didn't help the situation because then she burst out into hysterical laughter and the pool manager asked them to quiet down or return to their room. Needless to say they returned to their room very willingly. It wasn't her best moment of being a tourist, but it might have been the best night of sex.

Looking through the porch room door Casey watched Alex sleep. Every moment with her on this trip had been spectacular. Even when Alex asked the Surfer's Paradise surfing instructor what were her chances of getting eaten by a shark while out in the water. Casey laughed so hard when the instructor told Alex they usually only had three deaths a year on the beach due to shark attacks. Alex had paled to Casper white and immediately stood to leave before the instructor told her he was kidding. Then he had to reassure her that the beach had shark netting to even get her in the water.

Finishing her coffee Casey set the cup down and crawled on to the bed next to her lover. Kissing Alex's stomach and working her way up she felt her wife wrap her arms around her and pull her close. Looking into Alex's blue eyes Casey said, "I missed talking to you so I had to wake you."

Smiling Alex said, "Well I told you to feel free to wake me with kisses anytime so I am good." Kissing Casey, Alex could taste the strong coffee on her. "Have you been up long?"

Casey smiled, "A little bit but not too long. I was just watching the waves and thinking about all my favorite moments from our trip."

Alex tapped her finger to her chin, "My favorites would be the hot tub in Sydney, the zoo where we got to hold the koala, and saw the wombat and kangaroo, and the outback!"

"Ugh," Casey sighed, "why the outback, I hated it and couldn't sleep…"

"I am well aware, because you woke me up all night screaming about the giant cricket coming to get you." Alex laughed.

"It's not funny Alex those things were enormous and all over that communal bathroom thing. And I swear it was chirping for me to find it and kill it." Casey answers with all seriousness in her voice.

Alex still laughing says, "I still think your cricket is rusty Casey. I am pretty sure it was saying go to sleep Casey let your wife sleep."

"Not even close," Casey says before capturing Alex lips in a heated kiss. "My other favorite was the crocodile farm and then the so called beach the next day."

"Oh my God, we are so lucky we didn't die out there." Alex replies cringing.

"You are telling me. I will never know how two Harvard Law graduates miss a giant sign that says 'don't go near the beach crocodiles.'"

Shaking her head, Alex sighs "I almost peed my pants when we got back up to the top and saw the sign."

"Well we survived baby. My most favorite place we visited was hands down Fraser Island."

"That was amazing. We should go back there on our five year anniversary. Just next time don't tell anyone the Dingo is going to get there baby."

Casey smirks, "Are you sure about that? I am pretty sure angry Alex enjoyed that sex the best."

Quirking an eyebrow Casey pushes Casey back onto the pillows. "I might enjoy this even more," she says as she unties Casey's bathrobe to expose the unclothed woman. Running her hand up Casey's thigh to her stomach she can feel the redhead's breath hitch at her touch. Leaning in between Casey's thighs Alex presses her body to Casey's and kisses her passionately.

Pushing herself up with one arm she looks into Casey's eyes while running one hand up and down Casey's side to her thigh. Casey lean's up and kisses Alex again biting her bottom lip lightly to pull her back down with her. Breaking the kiss Casey says, "Touch me Alex."

Biting and licking Casey's neck Alex asks, "Where Casey? Tell me where you want me to touch you?"

"My clit Alex," Casey pants.

Alex slides her fingers to the bundle of nerves and begins to rub circles around it as Casey attempts to arch into Alex to get more relief. It doesn't take long for Casey's breaths to become ragged, and Alex still being pressed right up against her is starting to feel herself need relief as well. Moving herself just a little Alex positions her own clit over her knuckles and begins to rock her hips into her hand that is bringing Casey to orgasm. Casey now getting the combined stimulation has no ability to hold on and comes hard.

Coming down from her high she pulls Alex up and has her situate herself over her mouth. Immediately running her tongue through Alex's wetness she is rewarded with Alex's moan of delight. Wasting no time she begins to lick and suck Alex clit as Alex gently rolls her hips to Casey's ministrations quickly bringing herself to yet another amazing orgasm of the day. Falling down beside Casey she curls back into the redheads arms.

Finally regaining her breath, Alex says, "Casey I have a surprise for you."

"You do what is it?" Casey asks placing light kisses to Alex's shoulder.

Alex grins to herself, "When we get home I am going to be riding to work with you again."

At this knowledge Casey stops kissing Alex and pushes herself up to look into the blonde's eyes, "What? What are you saying Alex?"

"Branch and Donnelly want me to come back and work SVU with you. They offered me the job after the rehearsal dinner. I accepted. I wouldn't be taking any work from you just handling the easier cases, and if you want me in another unit they said they would move me. They just saw how much time I was spending in your office over the last few weeks and thought they would offer. Are you mad?"

Casey shakes her head as she says, "No, not at all. I am so excited!" Kissing Alex again she lays her head on the blonde's chest. "I love you Alexandra."

"I love you too Casey." Alex says.

The couple lay intertwined in each other's arms watching the waves roll in on the beach. Laying there they both thought of their future and how many hopes and dreams they have for it as they watch a little family of Wallabies hop by the doors. "Casey," Alex says softly.

"Yeah baby," Casey replies pushing up again to look into Alex's eyes.

Alex smiles sweetly and says "You were meant for me."

Smiling Casey softly replies, "We were meant for each other."

**A/N: This chapter concludes my story. Thank you to everyone who read it and enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it! Keep an eye out, because I should be starting another story soon!**


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